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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect DH to be quiet and use the bathroom to get ready when getting up early at weekends?

47 replies

Songofsixpence · 18/04/2015 10:55

I struggle with insomnia, and this week has been quite bad. I'm bloody knackered and just want some sleep and was looking forward to having a bit of a lie in this morning.

Today DH has a whole day thing related to his hobby, which involved him being up and out of the house by 7am.

So at 5:30am the alarm goes off but instead of getting up straight away he hits the snooze button, and continues to do so until 6:15 with the bloody alarm blaring out every 7 minutes. The bloody cat, hearing the alarm, thinks it's breakfast time and starts pulling my hair and batting my face. DH then goes and gets in the shower in our ensuite (forgetting to turn the bastard alarm off properly so it goes off again). He's banging around, getting dressed and whatnot, dropping his deodorant on the tiled floor, flushing the loo, in and out the bedroom looking for clothes and generally making a bit of a racket.

By about 6:45am I am now wide awake and absolutely no hope of ever getting back to sleep and I hate staying in bed once awake so I get up..

He comes downstairs and is surprised to find me up already. I point out that he woke me up, and once I'm awake I'm awake, so I was just mooching with coffee and my iPad.

He got a bit arsey, well how is he supposed to get dressed silently, he needed a shower, what is he supposed to do? He did try

I pointed out that perhaps he could have got ready in the main family bathroom, maybe had a shower and got his stuff together last night (given that he's going to end up getting filthy and sweaty today anyway) or showered in the main bathroom, maybe he could have got up and fed the cat considering he was getting up anyway. Not snoozed the bloody alarm clock for 45 minutes, ignore the cat, and then crash about like a bull in a china shop.

He's in a strop about it. Lots of 'god, I can't do anything right, I did try'. He doesn't like the shower in the bathroom, he can't help needing to flush the loo, he needs to get ready.

What pisses me off most, is that on nights I'm struggling to sleep I take myself off downstairs to the sofa so as not to disturb him.

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 18/04/2015 11:02

YANBU. "I did try" - the words "no you did fucking not" would have fallen out of my mouth.

Do you have DCs? Are you able to have a snooze today?

MrMacadoo · 18/04/2015 11:05

yanbu. the alarm alone would be enough for me. My DH does this and it drives me spare

Trills · 18/04/2015 11:13

How exactly did he try?

LePetitPont · 18/04/2015 11:15

YANBU. My DH can be very similar. The constant snoozing in particular drives me mad!

Original poster
Songofsixpence · 18/04/2015 11:17

The alarm clock drives me insane.

He has the clock set 30 minutes fast so we get an extra half an hour. We all know it's 30 minutes fast, it just pisses me off that I'm woken up 30 minutes earlier than I need to be.

He falls asleep the minute his head hits the pillow then manages to hit the snooze button without properly waking, leaving me raging and awake.

We do have children, but they're 13 and 10 so old enough to sort themselves out and let me sleep in a bit.

He's out again early tomorrow, if he carries on like it again I won't be responsible for where I shove the clock.

OP posts:
Dafspunk · 18/04/2015 11:18

I completely sympathise but the thing is, you need to say all this in advance. I know you shouldn't have to but next time, go calmly and clearly through all the instructions the night before.

sparklepopsicles · 18/04/2015 11:19

I think the alarm thing is def a man thing. My DH hits the snooze button about 10 times before getting up I however am wide awake from the first time it goes off. Drives me potty. Unfortunately I have not found a solution to that one. Hope you can have a nap at some point today Flowers

Original poster
Songofsixpence · 18/04/2015 11:20

Well, 'trying' was not turning the lights on and opening his drawers quietly and trying to be quiet in our bedroom apparently

OP posts:
sparklepopsicles · 18/04/2015 11:22

Is there a spare room you can sleep in tonight op?

HazleNutt · 18/04/2015 11:23

DH decided to start getting up earlier to go for a morning run, so did the snooze button thing until it was too late to go for a run. I told him I will actually kill him if that happens again. It has not.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 18/04/2015 11:25

DP does this.

"Mind your eyes!" fecking light flicks on before I've processed what he's said causing me to wither like a vampire.

Wardobe doors SLAM SLAM. Drawers SLAM SLAM. Deoderant PSHHHHHHH!

He then sits on my feet and rocks our quite sturdy bed getting his socks on.

Tries to fecking talk to me. Makes little commens. Asks questions.

Honestly. A herd of elephants make less noise...

Original poster
Songofsixpence · 18/04/2015 11:28

I did say to him last night 'please don't wake me up in the morning' and he was all of course I won't, I'll be quiet, etc. I'll have to spell it out to him tonight.

I don't think he really realises what it's like not being able to sleep. He could just drop back off in seconds and can't understand why I can't.

No, we haven't got a spare room unfortunately and napping during the day makes it even harder trying to sleep tonight.

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 18/04/2015 11:34

My ex was like this and I confiscated the alarm clock and put it on my side of the bed. When the alarm went off, then it got switched off. It only took him missing a couple of early morning fishing trips to figure out that he had to get up when it went off the first time.

Original poster
Songofsixpence · 18/04/2015 11:34

He's not slamming doors or anything, but by the time we've had all the nonsense with the alarm clock, I'm awake enough that everything disturbs me.

It's kind of half arsed trying

He tiptoed round our bedroom but banged his knee on the end of the bed, shaking it, he didn't turn the bedroom lights on but did turn the ensuite light on and left the door open so the light is shining right in my face, he didn't deliberately drop the deodorant but the floor is tiled so a loud clatter.

OP posts:
cashewnutty · 18/04/2015 11:37

My DH gets up early most work days and manages to be quiet. He lays out his clothes in the spare room the night before and he gets up as soon as his alarm goes off. We have an en suite and he manages to shower fairly quietly. He also creeps into the bedroom like a stealth ninja just before he goes and leaves me a cup of tea. I have him well trained Grin.

CMOTDibbler · 18/04/2015 11:48

We have an agreement that if someone has to get up earlier than our usual alarm, they get all their stuff together the night before, put it in the spare room, get up immediately the alarm goes off and then are out as fast as possible, having fed the cats. If a shower must be taken, its in the main bathroom.

Your dh was being a knob imo

bananayellow · 18/04/2015 11:49

I'd be googling perfect murder ideas after just the alarm business.

Spell it out tonight, if he learns his lesson and is better tomorrow, I would perhaps find it in my heart to let him live. If he doesn't then you could try the slower, less financially beneficial, route of divorce. only half joking

chinstrappenguin · 18/04/2015 11:59

Yep the alarm thing drives me mad too. I set the alarm for 5 minutes before I have to get up. DH hits snooze 4 or 5 times before he gets up! GrrrrAngry

hidingfromthem · 18/04/2015 11:59

he's a mean son of a bitch, isn't he?
doesn't he care about your health?
i'd have broken his sodding alarm clock already.

FadedRed123 · 18/04/2015 12:00

Dear Tired Op, if you choose to follow Bananas suggestions re perfect murder, don't forget to clear your browsing history...........

laurierf · 18/04/2015 12:06

I now have DH well-trained (I also struggle with insomnia at times). There is a no alarm snooze rule for this reason - he would let it go on and on for 45 minutes otherwise! If he has to get up early he lays out his stuff in another room the night before and gets dressed in that room and uses the main bathroom. I'd like to say this is because he's loving and thoughtful (and he really is and he did start doing that without me asking) but it's also because he knows his life would not be worth living otherwise Blush To be fair he also knows that I will take myself off to the sofa bed in the middle of the night if I'm going through a period of insomnia, for his sake as much as mine.

3littlefrogs · 18/04/2015 12:10

He is selfish and thoughtless.
Dh takes his clothes and toiletries downstairs if he has to get up early - he gets out of bed very quietly and tiptoes out of the bedroom. I always wake up because I am a very light sleeper, but i never complain because i know he is trying his best.
I do the same on the mornings I have to get up at 6 for work. It is just good manners.

expatinscotland · 18/04/2015 12:11

He sleeps on the sofa next time. What a knob.

Somersetlady · 18/04/2015 12:12

Oh the snooze thing. I thought it was just me OP. I am so with you on this!

better than a snorer though

expatinscotland · 18/04/2015 12:14

The snooze thing is fucking rude.

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