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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling bullied but ridiculous, AIBU to take it further (work)

57 replies

Nadders80 · 16/04/2015 14:07

So basically a new woman started at my place of work and seemed ok at first, after a few days kept calling me Alice. I kept correcting her but it seemed genuine so I didn't think much of it. Then she started asking everyone if they liked Alice Cooper, again didn't think much of it until she looked at me, asked me and then burst out laughing then the "alice" mistakes and the laughing made me think she was getting at something.

The next thing was that she posted loads of alice cooper music videos on her facebook and tagged me in them. I asked what she was on about and she said she thought I liked him. So by this point I realise she is taking the piss and next time at work ask her why she keeps calling me alice and going on about the singer. She said I was being paranoid but another colleague told me that she'd asked her if she thought I looked like Alice Cooper and she'd apparantly been asking everyone.

Final straw was a name sticker with Alice on it was placed on my locker.

I know I should just ignore it as it's kiddy stuff but it's doing my head in. AIBU to take it further (along the bullying route?)

OP posts:
ExitStageLeft · 16/04/2015 14:09

What an absolute dick. Yes you should take it further.

Heels99 · 16/04/2015 14:09

Definitely. Raise it with your manager or HR. Keep a log of all incidents, dates and details. Every time she does it ask her to stop it. she sounds horrendous this is definitely bullying and would be taken seriously where I work in HR. De friend her on facebook.

anicesitdownandshutup · 16/04/2015 14:12

Keep a log of everything.
What age is she? Not even my 7 year old would behave like this.
How vile.

BaronessBomburst · 16/04/2015 14:12

No, I would definitely go to a manager about that. She is not the sort of colleague I'd want to pass the probationary period. She'll only get worse.

WineIsMyMainVice · 16/04/2015 14:13

Heels is right. But there is a step you should take first. Formally and firmly ask this woman to stop all the references to Alice cooper. You might want to do this either with a colleague as a witness, or via email, so that you have a record. Then if it continues then it would definitely constitute bullying, and you should approach HR or your manager.
Good luck.

CookPassBabtrigde · 16/04/2015 14:15

What a weirdo. Yes you should take it further, it sounds like bullying IMO. She's taken the 'joke' too far, posting on social media and the name tag thing is out of order and unproffesional.

flora717 · 16/04/2015 14:16

The Alice sticker thing is pathetic. How old is she? I realise it's hard to stick (ha ha not) that one to being her, but I'd certainly have a "beyond a joke dear, don't you worry about looking the clown at work Hmm" chat (though "casually" in someone elses hearing. She will probably deny to the teeth as it's the act of a snidey coward. Then you can have a 'sheesh can't deal with fallout of her jokes' to a mgr (not a complaint but raising a flag). Then go for the kill the next time she does it. Obviously not enough work to keep her busy!

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 16/04/2015 14:17

What winels says.

She sounds a Crazy nasty bitch op.

creampie · 16/04/2015 14:18

I would definitely raise this with someone. I would not want her to pass her probationary period, and hopefully this would mean she wouldn't.

She sounds horrible. Sympathies.

SouthWestmom · 16/04/2015 14:20

Check your staff handbook. There might be something in there that you need to do first, like making them aware you are unhappy.

FenellaFellorick · 16/04/2015 14:21

You really need to nip this in the bud.

You need to tell a manager to tell her to pack it in and that such behaviour is not tolerated in this workplace and you also need to tell her directly that this is unacceptable.

CaptainAnkles · 16/04/2015 14:21

Please do make a complaint. She sounds like she hasn't got past her secondary school mean girl phase, and she shouldn't be allowed to do this to anyone.

ElsieMc · 16/04/2015 14:22

She is weird and creepy. What a horrible thing to do and particularly trying to rope in your colleagues to effectively mock and ridicule you.

I think you need to have a word with HR because she sounds horrible. She is not picking up on your discomfort - or worse, enjoying it and upping the ante. The worst kind of school type bullying.

Psipsina · 16/04/2015 14:22

Gosh what a complete cow. I can't think of anything to say, I'm so shocked. Hope you get her sacked this sorted.

TheWitTank · 16/04/2015 14:25

What a fucking knob. She sounds a bit obsessed. Absolutely bring this up with management/hr and meanwhile make it abundantly clear you are not interested or amused by her 'hilarious' jokes. Sounds like your colleagues are not keen either? She's a dick.

molyholy · 16/04/2015 14:26

Wow. How to win friends and influence people Confused. Especially as it only started a few days in to the job. People normally do their best to fit in, not to upset current members of staff.

It is bullying. I would say something, as a PP suggested, with another colleague present.

MissDemelzaCarne · 16/04/2015 14:26

YWNBU to take this further.

NotYouNaanBread · 16/04/2015 14:26

Definitely make a complaint. She sounds unhinged, apart from anything else.

And unfriend her on FB immediately. You shouldn't have colleagues on there anyway, least of all people you don't actually like, or who have bizarre vendettas against you.

TheWindowDonkey · 16/04/2015 14:28

She sounds a bitch. You need to nip this in the bud asap. I'd agree with a polite but firm email telling her that you have a real name and that she needs to use it.

WhoNickedMyName · 16/04/2015 14:30

screenshot the Facebook stuff then defriend and block her.

then go to your manager about this. she sounds like a nasty piece of work.

sooperdooper · 16/04/2015 14:31

Take screen shots of FB then unfriend her - I assume she's on a probation period if she's only just started so she's being really stupid!

Tell her to stop it now, make a log of what she's done and go to your manager and HR - she needs bringing back to the real world, what a weirdo!!

Moomintroll85 · 16/04/2015 14:31

What a total bitch freak. Report her and ignore her whenever she tries to interact with you.

nickersinaknot · 16/04/2015 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lindy2 · 16/04/2015 14:34

You need to complain about this. Write it all down. She will look like an absolute idiot not you. What ridiculous behaviour from her.

Number3cometome · 16/04/2015 14:35

  1. why do you have her on facebook?

  2. pull her one side and tell her you don't appreciate it and to stop

  3. if she carries on, report it.

I wouldn't want anyone like that in my office passing probation and getting worse.