To think it's impossible to get a job after being a SAHM?

[NotAHope]

I've been a lurker for a while but needed to post this because I am just so frustrated
My dh is in the military and is away a LOT. I've stayed at home with our ds for the last 5 years and we are finally in an area that is not in the middle of nowhere.
I've been applying for jobs for a year. The only thing I won't do is telesales (been there, done that) but nobody will even give me an interview
I was in the military myself for nearly 10 years and have done a good few jobs since I left, all of them I did well!
But nearly every job I apply for initially asks why I have been out of work for 5 years, and when they find out I can only really do school hours, due to the unpredictability of dh's job they don't want to know.
I'm a keen worker. I work hard and I am desperate for a life outside of raising my ds.
I just don't know what else I can do. I thought about voluntary work but we are at the stage where we need two wages coming in, even just part time!
I'm feeling really offended! Especially when I go to some of the places I have applied to and see some of the people they employ. Usually students. I'm guessing because they are cheaper to employ and can work evenings and weekends.
Sorry for war and peace, just feeling sorry for myself..

But Clare I've heard before that employers won't take those kind of 'skills' seriously. They argue that everybody has financial management to deal with in their personal life so it's irrelevant.

A few tips for you OP:

1. Consider doing some courses and/or voluntary work. This shows an employer that you have the desire to get yourself out there, learn new skills and put something on your CV. Yes you may need the wage but experience is key & in the long term you want to build your CV up as much as possible. References are also important and that's a good way to get a few current ones.

1. Speak to as many agencies as possible! A recruitment consultant gets paid if you get paid, and although some are shite there are good people out there who will help to land you a job, build up your interview skills etc.

1. KEEP THE FAITH!! It's frustrating not getting interviews but perseverance is key!

1. Get a friend or a few friends to analyse your current CV and see what can be tweaked and improved. It's the 1st impression someone will have of you and you need to get it right.

Good luck!!

When you go to an interview - in the nicest possibly way forget about your children. Certainly don't mention them, be really really keen on the role. Once you get an offer you don't need to take it.

Have I missed something - what did you do before you had the kids

I will be honest. I wouldn't start talking about the skills you have learnt from being a SAHM. Sorry, but I don't think the interviewers will be very interested in that. However volunteering etc will show something.

Hillingdon do you suggest making a point on your CV of including SAHM as being the reason for your employment gap or to not mention it at all? I've heard advice from both sides on this one.
I mean, on my CV it's a pretty obvious gap- my last job being 10 years ago!

I know you're not addressing me with your post tametempo but my view is that a gap as sizeable as that simply needs to be explained. If you can't explain it an employer will wonder why and treat it with suspicion, why would you hide being a stay at home parent after all?

Yes, I've put it on my CV Darth but I do wonder if it's a little off putting to the employer being the first thing they read on my CV. I suppose I could try and tuck the information away at the end of my CV?
I worry some employers may see mention of the word ''children'' and think ''argh! Potentially unreliable!''

Honestly I would mention it but say you are really looking to getting back to work. How interested you are in their company. They just might ask about your kids. One word answers and back to the main point - getting you that new role, if it's local stress how easy that will be for both sides. 'I only live 10 minutes away etc'

I worked with someone who had a 90 minute commute. Not really his issue but he was late 50% of the time due to train delays etc. He did try and make it up but when someone turns up at 910/915 it's very obvious, staying 10 mins later isn't really noticed

Of course you will need to mention it otherwise there will be a large gap.

I got this in a recruiter newsletter today:

Mothers returning to work - a missed opportunity?
The legal profession very often lags behind other sectors for recruitment practices and HR trends. Firms have tended to be inflexible about hours, reluctant to recruit part time staff and hesitant to offer alternatives to salary increases.

It is not surprising therefore that parents returning to work have traditionally found it difficult to get a suitable position and in a good number of cases have given up trying. Over the past 15 years we have seen a thawing in attitudes towards anyone who has a gap on their CV, but it will still count against a job applicant regardless of the circumstances. For example, quite a few conveyancers have gaps or alternative work on their CVs between 2008 and 2011. Time and again this comes up as a reason for rejecting them for posts, even though it is pretty obvious to all concerned that the candidate was simply trying to survive at a time when conveyancing jobs were virtually inexistent.

Parents returning to work have an even harder job persuading firms to take them back on after a break. Quite often an absence will be about 5-7 years, and at this point mothers (for the purposes of this article assume I am referring to both mothers and fathers!) will still be looking for part time work or flexible hours to enable child care issues to be overcome. Collecting or dropping children off at school is inevitable for most parents and tends to weigh heavily on the mind of candidates at job interviews. More so when the candidate is a returner to work. Mothers are very often nervous about getting back into a job; can they still do the work after all this time out and how will they juggle the work/life balance? This often makes them seem more nervous at job interviews and more particular in their requirements than someone moving straight from one role to the next.

So why is it a missed opportunity? Perhaps it isn't, but I have noticed the following trend amongst mothers who have gone back to work:

1. They very often do not seem as concerned about salary levels as those who have had a consistent career to date.
2. Benefit packages tend to be considered more carefully, particularly flexible hours and annual leave.
3. Loyalty levels are higher. The returner to work tends to be grateful for the opportunity to get back in again.
4. Levels of experience and ability are quite often higher for a lower salary than another fee earner at the same PQE level. The returner to work will be older (and hopefully that bit wiser!).
5. Returners to work have significant commitments to a particular geographical area and are less likely to be able to relocate to work. This ties them to firms in specific areas and reduces their opportunities to move.
6. Returners to work have strong networks in the areas they are based in which can lead to increased business development potential.
7. Part time and flexible hours returners to work do not seem to do that much less work than full time staff - very often they just cram the same amount of work into a shorter period of time. Think about the time you spend between 3pm and 5pm each day. Is it as productive as 10am to 1pm or considerably less so?

Naturally these are extremely subjective and based on our own experiences. It is true that some parents returning to work have such specific criteria that they will have persuaded any potential employer not to consider them even before they get to interview. Generally however we think that parents returning to work offer significant economic benefits for their firms in the medium-long term.

Christina it's with the CAB

I'm in the same situation, youngest now at school and very few if any school hours, term time jobs. I don't want my kids in before school, after school and holiday clubs and need flexibility if they're poorly so I decided to do direct selling until they're at secondary school. I chose Phoenix Trading, and Stella & Dot because I love the products and the companies are both reputable and great to work with with no targets or restrictive terms. Happy to chat about direct selling with you generally if you want to get in touch.

I managed to get a job working for a discount retail chain. Because my kids are high school age, I can work slightly more flexible hours, but one of my colleagues only does 10-2 and no weekends. I'd been out of the job market for ten years. Of course I have to find childcare for holidays, but my boss has been sympathetic when I've rung in and told him that my kids all have noro, no-one will babysit and I cannot come in. In turn, I've gone in when other people have been off sick. Min wage and the benefits are pretty much nil, but at least I'm working.

notahope - how have you been getting on?