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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why so many "vegetarians" eat fish?

267 replies

Housewife2010 · 14/04/2015 08:06

I think I may now describe myself as a vegetarian who eats meat! I don't eat any shellfish or much fish so surely it all evens out!

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 16/04/2015 10:10

Don't get me started on bloody haribo!

DamFineBeaver · 16/04/2015 10:49

How much of this is to do with vegetarians being served fish at parties, and how much to do with vegetarians trying to protect a title which they're proud of?

HSMMaCM · 16/04/2015 13:27

DamFineBeaver nearly every time I go anywhere I am asked if I eat fish. It's not a problem and I just say no, but I wouldn't keep getting asked if people were clear.

keepitsimple0 · 16/04/2015 14:47

How much of this is to do with vegetarians being served fish at parties, and how much to do with vegetarians trying to protect a title which they're proud of?

for me, all of it is the latter. I couldn't care less about the title.

keepitsimple0 · 16/04/2015 14:47

the former! not the latter.

fulltothebrim · 16/04/2015 14:48

Freudian slip....

AlternativeTentacles · 16/04/2015 16:06

Tentacles - it's really not that important to get this wound up

Maybe not for you but why can't you just say 'I don't eat meat' rather than pretending to be something that you are not?

fulltothebrim · 16/04/2015 16:14

I don't think it's about "pretending" anything.
Unless you think being a vegetarian is something to be proud of and aspire to.

My DS sometimes tells people he is a vegetarian and I can understand why. It saves lengthy explanations. He is able to order the food he wants and everyone is happy- except you seemingly.

"Not a true vegetarian" you sing clutching at your pearls- "how dare they call themselves such!"

AlternativeTentacles · 16/04/2015 16:18

It saves lengthy explanations. He is able to order the food he wants and everyone is happy - except you seemingly

Yes. Because after 31 years of this bollocks it gets fucking annoying. Teach him to just say 'I don't eat meat'. Simple. It really is not lengthy. Fewer words, letters and syllables.

"Not a true vegetarian" you sing clutching at your pearls- "how dare they call themselves such!"

"No. Not a vegetarian at all." I sing clutching my pearls - "Idiot".

CultureSucksDownWords · 16/04/2015 16:20

It's not anyone's business if your DS or anyone else wants to say they're vegetarian in order to ensure they get suitable food (ie vegetarian food). What people get a bit annoyed by, because it can cause a knock on effect, is people saying they're vegetarian - and then ordering fish/chicken/whatever meat product they fancy. That's just a bit odd, and I don't understand why people seem to do this so often.

fulltothebrim · 16/04/2015 16:20

Take a chill pill tentacles.

Good luck with your crusade though.

AlternativeTentacles · 16/04/2015 16:27

Good luck with your crusade though

There wouldn't need to be a crusade if people just stopped pretending to be 'veggie' to look cool and funky and hip. They just end up looking like idiots who don't understand what they are actually talking about.

CultureSucksDownWords · 16/04/2015 16:31

"Take a chill pill" is such a dismissive and contemptuous phrase. I used to wince when the students I taught came out with that one.

fulltothebrim · 16/04/2015 16:42

tentacles- so you think you look "cool funky and hip" being a veggie?
Is that the impression you think you give others?

TheRealMaryMillington · 16/04/2015 16:44

Edith Weston - if I had been at the meal where the vegetarian started eating the prawns I would have had to Say Something.

I can't stand that kind of behaviour. I was vegetarian for 30 years, and vegan for 5 of them. I now eat the odd bit of prawn or sushi if I want to. I am not a vegetarian. "I just don't eat any meat or dairy". Not very hard to say.

DoJo · 16/04/2015 17:01

I am surprised at the suggestion that people 'pretend' to be vegetarians to look cool as opposed to using a term which broadly describes their eating habits to simplify things for themselves and others. I still don't understand the ire about this, and as nobody has yet linked to a restaurant which offers fish as a vegetarian option or given an example of 'confusion' which wasn't as a result of gross stupidity rather than anything which can be directly attributed to anyone else's specific eating habits I can only assume that people really do think that being a vegetarian makes them 'cool and funky and hip' and want to protect that image in some way.

fulltothebrim · 16/04/2015 17:04

I can't stand that kind of behaviour*

I know- shocking isn't it. Some people have no standards.

AlternativeTentacles · 16/04/2015 17:06

tentacles- so you think you look "cool funky and hip" being a veggie? Is that the impression you think you give others?

I couldn't be less cool funky and hip. The people pretending to be veggie are surely only doing it to appear something they are not. Otherwise why not just say 'I don't eat meat'? Seriously - why?

I still don't understand the ire about this' Evidently.

fulltothebrim · 16/04/2015 17:11

tentacles- it was you who suggested that people look "cool, funky and hip" being vegetarian- not me.

AlternativeTentacles · 16/04/2015 17:15

tentacles- it was you who suggested that people look "cool, funky and hip" being vegetarian- not me

No I didn't. I said it people pretend to be veggies because they think it makes them look cool funky and hip. Which it doesn't - it just makes them look like fuckwits.

Either be something or don't be something. Don't pretend to be something. Either shit or get off the pot.

fulltothebrim · 16/04/2015 17:20

How do you know the motivations of all these "pseudo vevetarians"? Are you an authority?

People may ask for vegetarian food for all sorts of reasons or call themselves vegetarians if they like.
I don't see it's any of your business.

DoJo · 16/04/2015 17:20

Otherwise why not just say 'I don't eat meat'? Seriously - why?

Well, I already gave one reason upthread, which seems to have been ignored, but there are a few others:

  1. Saying 'I don't eat meat' usually implies vegetarianism, rather than pescetarianism which basically causes the same problem as you claim it would avoid.
  1. Calling myself a pescetarian implies that I prefer fish to completely meat-free meals, which isn't the case - I only eat fish rarely and usually to make life easier for anyone trying to cater to my other dietary restrictions.
  1. Anyone who knows me well, knows the ins and out of my dietary requirements, but for those who don't I am pretty self conscious about the perceived awkwardness of the list of things I can't eat - shortening that list by using an established term which describes 95% of my eating habits makes me feel less demanding and dictatorial about the kinds of meals which are suitable for me.

As I said, in 20+ years of either vegetarianism and pescetarianism, I have never encountered the problems that some of the people on here describe and it seems that I am not alone. Most of the specific incidents described seem to be the result of general lack of care or thought about food rather than specific misunderstandings due to terminology.

IsJustMe · 16/04/2015 17:23

I don't preach to anyone as to what they should eat or not eat, but hate that people think I am fair game for a verbal bashing because I choose to be vegetarian.

The problem I have is the knock-on effect - because restaurants see "vegetarians" eating fish, they expect me to as well. I don't want to have to justify or explain why I don't eat fish. I do not understand why people cannot see that a fish is a living being, therefore I do not eat it.

The Oxford Dictionary definition of a vegetarian is A person who does not eat meat or fish, and sometimes other animal products, especially for moral, religious, or health reasons.

TheRealMaryMillington · 16/04/2015 17:27

Full to the brim, see Edith's post, first page. A group of meat eaters ordered a vegetarian meal (with the exception of one dish of prawns). the "vegetarian" in question then took and all the prawns. Very rude behaviour.

I kind of understand the shorthand of telling a restaurant that you are vegetarian if you are kosher just to keep life simple. I kind of also get it if you can't be arsed to go through the big old list of stuff you do eat and stuff you don't.

But basically if you eat flesh you are not a vegetarian, so why lie?

I understand that some people don't get the problem but for most vegetarians it is a principled stance based that Actually Matters to them.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/04/2015 17:31

as nobody has yet linked to a restaurant which offers fish as a vegetarian option

Pretty much every Chinese takeaway menu I've ever read lists vegetable dishes in oyster sauce under "vegetarian dishes". Some even have dishes with seafood in under the same heading.