My DH isnt talking to me because...

[Shirleycantbe]

His lovely father is coming up 85. Very nearly died just over a year ago and is still pretty frail. His birthday is in a few days. My DH is generally pretty bad at remembering it - has forgotten entirely in the past.

We are away in the US on holiday. I sent DH an email reminder about the birthday a couple of weeks ago. Came up in conversation over dinner tonight and it transpired he had done nothing about it, despite having been on holiday here for a week.

I expressed my frustration and disappointment at this. Now my DH isn't talking to me because (presumably) I have made him feel bad.

How to handle?

I don't understand the posters saying the OP shouldn't have sent a card to her FIL . Presumably the OP and her DCs have a relationship with FIL.
Her DH messed up but why should FIL be upset and the OP and her DCs viewed as equally selfish just because her DH told her not to act.

He sounds a complete prick...getting you to cancel the card you arranged for his FIL, so what, the FIL gets nothing for his 85th birthday? It's as bizarre as it is selfish.

Your DH sounds like a big whiny baby. I'm sorry for you.

You've done the right thing in sending the card, OP. Why should your lovely FIL go without a birthday card just because your DH would rather throw a toddler tantrum than he would accept that this isn't actually all about him ?

PS. Don't they have alligators in Florida?

Oh please don't cancel the card, your poor FIL.

I said if the op is scared to call 911.

Op has used words "enraged", "furious" and has told us he's stonewalling her/not talking to her.

I sense panic and some fear in the op. They are thousands of miles away from home.

This is classic abuser territory. She's said some things that concern me.

THATS WHY I SAID TO CALL POLICE IF IT ESCALATES

Abuse under these circumstances can escalate rapidly. She's alone.

What kind of cock gets upset because his wife sends his DF a birthday card FGS?!

OP, I hope you haven't cancelled the card; your DH needs to 'man up' and get over the fact he forgot his Dad's birthday.
If he's that bothered, perhaps he can start trying to make an effort to remember from now on.

Hissy I knew exactly what you meant in your first post and I understood why you posted. The fact the OP was trying to recall the card says there is an imbalance in their relationship and did ring alarm bells.
I hope everything is OK today.

I don't understand his thinking. Why wouldn't he want his dad to receive a card on his 85 birthday. What an absolute nob.

Send the card! He doesn't get to decide who you send a card to.
Knob jockey.

Send the card, this could well be the last birthday he may have as it don't sound like he is in the best of heath.

Have i missed an
Uodate from op?

Surely it is about making an old man happy rather than an immature one feel like he has big balls.

MrsD I was just thinking that. ?omething has caused this man to be predisposed to behave in an irrational manner.