to think she was being judgy

[kent43]

So I have 3 dc and I have done a combination of breast and bottlefeeding. My 3rd dd has always been a cosleeper (only way I could function next day) and I still breastfeed her at 28 months. She does rely on it fo both nutrition and comfort and hope she will wean in her own time.
Anyway various family members have been getting quite judgy about saying she doesn't need it etc etc.
Anyway this weekend we saw my brother and his wife. They have one child who is 18 month old and is the extended families perfect child. Ie she has the perfect routine, slept though the night from very young etc. Even dh will say to our dd that your cousin does this so you should be able to etc etc.
So sil expressed surprise that I was still breastfeeding. I commented that she still needed it but she argued that I could stop if I wanted to and I was clearly doing it for me.
I was a little taken aback so didn't really respond.
was she being judgy or am I just oversensitive?
Her dd has a dummy btw so both little ones have thtir preferred mode of comfort.

Surely expressed milk in a cup has the same nutrition.. I personally don't see any need for breastfeeding once a child is capable of learning to feed themselves.

What a bizarre attitude!

I really do worry about the way our society brings people up to think about breasts.

The milk is there on tap where the child can help themselves whenever the needs arises, safely, efficiently and with minimal fuss or inconvenience to those involved. Why, in heaven's name, is that less appropriate than feeding the child the exact same liquid from a cup?

The question shouldn't be whether a child 'needs' to be BF. It should be about why so many people feel it needs to be stopped.

The question shouldn't be whether a child 'needs' to be BF. It should be about why so many people feel it needs to be stopped.

This.

I met with almost universal approval when breastfeeding until DD hit about 9 months. There have been comments about stopping ever since. She's only 14 months old now. Why would I, if she and I have no problem with it? It's really odd, that people feel they have a perfect right to a view on this. Why are a woman's breasts being used for their primary purpose for the benefit of a very small child any of their concern?

I commented that she still needed it but she argued that I could stop if I wanted to and I was clearly doing it for me.

Just wondering - is there any chance she could feel the fact you are still feeding is a criticism? Some mothers get really agitated when people do something differently. Mumsnet has evidence of that all the time. And breastfeeding is so charged a mothering subject, depressingly.

Not a very logical or sound explanation springbreaker.

A pp said the WHO recommended bf up till age 2 - can I just point out they actually recommend a minimum of two years, 2 isn't a cut off! Never ever ever did I imagine I would be bf at 3! The only thing "in it for me" is not having an enormous fight with ds who loves his feeds (and his food, and other drinks) and who is distraught if I prevent him.

The only thing "in it for me" is not having an enormous fight with ds who loves his feeds (and his food, and other drinks) and who is distraught if I prevent him.

I BF both my children until around their third birthdays which was when they both decided to stop of their own accord. I never planned to BF for any particular length of time. I started when they were born and there was never any particular reason to stop.

I was well aware that the milk they were taking from me was nutritionally spot on for them for a start. Why would I stop them having it in favour of a similar substance designed for a different mammal? That would make no sense.

By the age of three my children could walk long distances by I still picked them up sometimes. They could get dressed independently but I still helped them on and off with a piece of clothing at some point most days. So why is it so odd that they could drink from a cup but I still allowed them to BF? I wonder if those who think there's something wrong with a child sucking from a breast when they are old enough to drink from a cup allow their DCs to drink from sports bottles? It's the same principle.

What was in it for me? Enjoying meeting my children's needs. Not sure why some people think that's so sinister.

Some people are a bit weird about bfing over a year old.

Aren't they just?

My DS turned 2 just over a month ago, he has morning and bedtime feeds now. Although if it was down to him alone he would still want breastfeeding all the time, he's a bit obsessed.

At this point it's really not for me, it would be much more convenient for me if he didn't want breastfeeding anymore. Although I do enjoy the snuggling (but then I equally enjoy snuggling him without feeding him).

But he's in no rush to self wean and feeding seems to give him comfort and happiness he certainly looks bloody pleased with himself if he manages to successfully grab a breast while I'm trying to get washed or dressed or still half asleep and so I'll continue for a while and see how it goes, which is basically what I've been doing for the past 2 years too.

It was for clarity cactus.

In real life I would say something like she was 2 in December.

Cactus - 22 months, 28 months, what ever. He's still very little and only a tiny toddler.

A lot of my friends did extended breast feeding and I have nothing but respect for them and their values.