to think I'm just a shit parent?

[NorksWar]

My son is 4. During the day he is (mostly) an angel and a pleasure to be around. But at night he won't fucking sleep.

He will sleep (sometimes after a short battle) if DH puts him to bed, but usually then wakes up several times and DH sleeps soundly through the crying. DH works shifts and when he's on nights DS won't sleep for me. People tell me I'm obviously not strict enough but tonight I've walked him back to bed every 5 mins since 7.30pm and he's still crying. He has been known to literally cry from 7.30pm until 7.30am. I've had 4 years of sleep deprivation and lost count of the number of car crashes I've had. I just feel like such a bad mother. I've also got 2 year old twins who have never been a problem.

ChronicallyInflexible

DS1 had a revision under GA (I didn't know any different) but it wasn't done properly, despite costing ££££ and then we travelled to Huddersfield (400 mile round trip) to have it done by a dentist who had trained in laser revision.

But as far as I know, he is not doing kids in your DD's age group. The guy you need to see is Dr Levinkind in London. I saw him about DS2 and he was great.

There are a couple of tongue tie support groups on facebook. What I would recommend is that you learn as much as you possibly can about it. DS1's ties and orofacial structure were basically affecting his ability to eat, breathe and sleep well. These three things are the basis of good health and the change in him after we sorted all these problems was incredible.

DS2 was a dreadful sleeper from day one. He was 4 in January and still is very hit-and-miss with his sleep. At least 3 nights a week I'll find him between DH and I in our bed. I've given up. We all sleep better leaving him there and if I walk him back to bed he gets crazy wide-awake, the sort of madness that can keep him fired up til 5am (he used to just march in and out of our room over and over for hours, so it wasn't just a twenty minute battle).

Cut yourself some slack, you should lovely. Sleep deprivation has been used throughout history as torture for good reason. It sends you utterly batshit, there's nothing like it. You do what you need to do to survive. If that means letting him in with you, do it. If it means sleeping in his room with him, do it. If it means sedating him with rum like a pirate, perhaps only do it occasionally, and never admit to it; it's frowned upon. But you get my point.

I'm joking, btw, about the rum. I drink it instead, works like a charm.

I've not read through all the replies so I apologise if this has been mentioned. My son won't go to sleep on his own, so I get into his single bed with him, read a story, talk about our day then have a cup of milk and I cuddle him and stroke him until he falls asleep. If he wakes up in the middle of the night for any reason he comes in with us. Otherwise I'd be knackered too! He's 3 years old. Maybe this is worth a try so he feels you're still there comforting him?

youre not a shit parent. but you should stop driving for the moment before you kill yourself or someone else.