to be considering cancelling holiday to Spain after Easter behaviour

[thinkingmakesitso]

Dc are 8 and 5 and I split with their father last year after discovering his infidelity. It has obviously been a tough year but he is still very involved in their lives and I suppose things are good now, perhaps even better than could have been expected this time last year.

We had not been abroad since youngest child was a baby, so after receiving a monetary gift from my parents at Christmas I booked for me and the dc to go to Spain in the summer. Having just come back from a short break to see family this Easter (we stayed in a hotel) I am absolutely dreading it and seriously considering not going. It is the unrelentingness (not a word, sorry) of it that gets me. We will be in an apartment, and a small one, so no outside space for ds to go out in (he loves sport) and we will be in a city, not a resort, so the onus will be on me at all times to to entertain with little scope for them to entertain themselves or just 'be'.

Written down that all sounds so much worse than I even thought and I feel like I have made a huge mistake. To add to that the dc are just so silly and I am not really enjoying them much at the moment . It's the silly noises, repeating things I say in a silly voice, constant, and I mean constant, references to poo, bums and wee, awful table manners despite having eaten at the table as a family all their lives, ds2's increasing fussiness with food, ds1 constantly shrieking anytime anything not on his agenda is suggested...I could go on... I have just read the thread on Chat about the 8/9 yr olds playing and it has made me feel shit because they NEVER do anything like that - ds1 is all sport and seems to have no imagination despite getting awards for creative writing at school and ds2 is obsessed with Rainbow Fairies ad spends hours lining up his books and then watching Youtube videos of other children lining up their books - the only time they play together is to shout and shriek about poo and wee - makes me feel like a complete failure. Both are perfect at school btw.

My response seems to be to shout at them and even, today, pull them too roughly and it makes me feel shit and coping with it in a foreign country on my own for a week seems like madness. I don't really have rl support anyway, but won't even have my own space, laptop etc

We went in a greengrocers today and it was beyond me to cope with them - over-loud voices, being silly when putting stuff in the bags, trying to grab stuff- they are not toddlers but I feel like I coped better when they were and now I have just lost my way with them.

To my shame I even told them today that they would not be going to Spain if they carried on, and I know it is wrong to threaten them like that, and nothing they did was really THAT bad - it is more my inability to cope that is the problem.

Sorry for the rant, but AIBU to thing going abroad with them in these circumstances is a really bad idea?

youre going to feel shit if you cancel the holiday, plus youll lose money and plus you won't have a better time at home.
Take a chance. Prep yourself. Dont have unrealistic expectations of behaviour. Do chilled out stuff. Spend most days at the beach

OP, definitely go. I have done holidays on my own with my 2 DD since they were 2 and 4.

I find if I talk to them before and let them know it will be exciting new experience, but hard work at times for Mom, so they need to be extra good and help me. Get them to promise good behaviour before they go and remind them of that promise as needed when on hols.
Does your hotel have a pool? Otherwise find out now where nearest public pool is. Or change hotel to one that has a pool.
And bring a ball for your sports mad Ds, and give him plenty of opportunity to have a kick around at parks.
Google close by parks and playgrounds.
Have a child friendly plan and you will be fine. Get the DC involved in deciding what to do. Don't try and pack too much in.

Go and have a fantastic time!

Valencia is a great place for kids. Don't cancel!!!

I suggest getting tourist bus tickets to travel around the city/beach area - we used it as our main transport as it is way too far to walk. You can sit on the top deck and decide where you are going each day. There is an excellent science museum that will keep them busy for a day or two.

Don't cancel, they'll love it - and so will you!

The city itself is a great place to try out spanish food like paella or tapas and all sorts of icecream flavours, but you can get burgers etc too and shop for food. You can wander around and visit the sites and taste the flavours.

The beach area is huge and has lots of beach cafes, some serving british food if you need it, aswell as spanish. And they can wear themselves out on the beach.

8 is the age when children start becoming a bit more independent and they show it in all sorts of ways - copying your speech, getting annoyed at how you laugh. It won't last forever. The 5 year old is prob just copying the older bro. Take back control and reward the good behaviour and sanction the bad. Make it clear what is good and what you don't expect them to do. Allow for mistakes and always allow them to apologise and make up for silliness. It's the singleparent 24/7 thing that's the hardest. You need a night a week where you can be you - do you have support?

I understand your concerns. DH is often ill and so I often take our DC ( 10 and 8) away for the odd break on my own. I find them very full on if I am in charge at home, they are far more likely to play up with me then they are with DH which makes me very .

However, I find that when we are in a different city, they are out of their comfort zone and far less confident. They become model citizens.. they do as I ask and behave beautifully.

Hope it works out for you

I knew you were going to Valencia right from the word go! The park in the old riverbed is a brilliant place - hire bikes, go roller skating, they can climb Gulliver. Visit the CAC and the Bioparc. And of course the beach. Agree with the pp who said they should earn treats along the way.

I wonder if there are some trails and other things aimed at children for exploring the historic sites? Take them to the market for food shopping.

Give them fresh air and activity and they might calm down a bit. The change of scenery will probably do you good too.

Thank you so much for all the replies and not flaming me for even considering cancelling . Today has been much better though we haven't done a lot and ex has been with them a bit.

It was so hard to find somewhere they would both like as ds1 loves history as well as sport and enjoys museum. Ds2 is very specific in his likes but usually gets into interactive stuff in museums and loves animals, fish etc. He would, I am pretty sure, not want to do kids club stuff so that was why I didn't really consider that kind of place.

Someone mentioned being out of their comfort-zone and therefore calmer in a new city and I do think that may happen as they were great on a recent day-trip to London: someone in the Tower even complimented me on how well-behaved and interested they were .

Will definitely get them involved in planning and have very low standards while we are away, resorting to cava where needed. .

Never mind cava: agua de Valencia will be the thing!

Enjoy your holiday they are only little and will drive you up the wall most of the time my dds were a nightmare at that age.

My ds, 8, was driving me mad with his potty mouth. I took 2 mins off his bedtime for every potty word out of his mouth for 3 days (kept a record on phone note pad). Continued for 3 days and seemed to crack it.

I hope you find something that works for you and manage to have a good holiday.

For the last 4 years we've taken our kids to big campsites in France ( we have a tourer ).All singing, all dancing sites;waterparks,bowling, basketball, football, disco.....you name it! The cost of the site wasn't too bad-but by the time we factored in the extra petrol, european cover on the RAC, channel tunnel......well, it all added up.
Well the kids weren't interested in doing anything on the site.All they wanted to do was play on tablets, and fall out with each other! So we told them that this year we were going where me and DH wanted to go! And we are! And if they don't like it-tough!!
Anyway,I agree with drblossom.And bribery and corruption works sometimes too!

Sorry, I would cancel. So what about the money? Good accounting advice: never make a decision on the basis of a sunk cost.

Dont threaten it just cancel and stop talking about the holiday. Spend the remainder of the money on things like days out.