To wonder which partner is in the wrong?

[bubblypop]

OK, a married couple, 2 primary school aged DCs, each of the couple works full time hours.

Person A does all of the housework, childcare, food shopping, cooking, laundry, organises everything within the house, deals with the children when they are ill, plus everything else needed to keep the household running. Person B has long since disengaged themselves from doing any of this. Person A is very resentful at having to do everything, otherwise it does not get done. Person B will not discuss it or make any compromises.

Person B thinks that Person A is a total nag, and is out of order asking the to do anything regarding caring for their DCs or in the house. Person B has threatened several times to leave Person A when Person A has asked B to do something such as stack the dishwasher or bath one of the children, as it is apparently unfair to stop them from relaxing and to order them around and that they don't have to do anything in the house if they don't want to.

Who is in the wrong??

Why does person A have such low self esteem that they do not call out person B on this horrible behaviour?

What does person A get out if this 'relationship'? Sounds like an abusive situation.

This isn't a great example to be setting to your children OP of what a relationship should be like.

Unless there is s huge domestic workload that he does, like building a new roof and kitchen extension every day after work, then he is a lazy, abusive misogynistic dick.
He doesn't love you, if he can relax while you work yourself to the bone.

Why would he think leaving you is a threat? Why would you?

What do you say when he threatens to leave?

Have you asked him why his relaxing is more important than yours?

He's an arse OP- in case the general consensus of this thread hasn't made that clear.

If I were Person A, I would say to Person B, just go then! What do you bring to the table?

If I were Person A, Person B would not be 'leaving' he would be fleeing for his life all the way to the next town with my toe up his backside!

Person A would then settle down to relax by joining 'Match.com' and browsing for his replacement with a naice glass of vino (once kids tucked up of course!).

balls

He might change his tune if you actually threatened to leave him

• he's manipulating you.

Tell him not to let the door hit his arse on the way out!

I can never understand why people put up with this shit. Why OP?

I can totally, honestly, on my child's life, say, that if my DH behaved like this and threatened to leave me I'd tell him to fuck off and I'd be packing his bags for him.