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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'God made us' -AIBU?

68 replies

KindergartenKop · 10/04/2015 18:29

Ds1: 'God made us'
Me: 'Who told you that?'
Ds1: 'Grandma'

Grandma is quite religious, dh and I strongly believe children can make up their own minds when they are old enough. Aibu to be a bit annoyed? Do you reckon it's worth having a word?

OP posts:
MrsFlannel · 10/04/2015 18:30

No. It's not worth having a word. Just say "Some people believe that dear. They're called Christians..." and chill out. When he goes to school he will learn about all religions.

shewept · 10/04/2015 18:33

No. Its what she believes. What do you want her to say.

Its a good opportunity to discuss religion in simple terms, like mrsflannel said.

TheWhiteRoad · 10/04/2015 18:33

My ex Mil (I'm divorced) is always saying stuff like that to DD. I simply counter with 'yes that's what some people believe. But mummy thinks this instead' (insert scientific fact here). She's 6 and now gets that religion is not an absolute and people believe different things.

It is annoying though.

Mistigri · 10/04/2015 18:34

He will still make up his mind when he's old enough. My daughter survived 5 years of indoctrination at catholic primary school and still managed to enter her teens with views on religion that Richard Dawkins would be proud of (nothing to do with me; my main response to religion is boredom).

Satsumafairy · 10/04/2015 18:35

What MrsFlannel said, exactly.

CharlesRyder · 10/04/2015 18:36

DH and I are atheist and DS goes to quite a god-squad school. He comes home saying this stuff and we also do the 'yes, that is what Christians believe' line.

Applecross · 10/04/2015 18:41

I don't have any problem with atheist friends explaining their views to my dc, I'm sure there are going to be a million other voices backing your non religious position up, why worry about it? As others have said, it's good to discuss these things.

Original poster
KindergartenKop · 10/04/2015 18:46

Ok.
She's not a Christian actually but yeah, applecross makes a good point.

OP posts:
lertgush · 10/04/2015 18:50

I'd be tempted to get him to ask grandma who made smallpox and cancer.

Squitten · 10/04/2015 18:52

DS, who is 6, has been studying various religions this year and we have had a few statements along those lines. I have always just said "That's what Christians (etc) believe".

I was wondering what he was getting in his head until very recently he was talking about how they were saying who belonged to various religions in his class and he said "I'm not any religion though am I?" So despite all the messages he has been getting, he has still come to the correct conclusion on his own.

I really wouldn't worry about it too much! And I wouldn't make a big deal about it either.

LittleBairn · 10/04/2015 18:54

YABU you say he can make his own mind up, so surely he also has the right to hear about God too as well as your own beliefs?

Blueskybrightstar · 10/04/2015 18:56

I think it's a nice story and a nice safe way of a little one seeing the world, and when old enough they can develop the critical thinking to appreciate it as a nice story (or not, depending on their POV!) or something they really believe.

VoyageOfDad · 10/04/2015 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeachyPants · 10/04/2015 19:11

LittleBairn you say he has the right to hear about God as well as OP's beliefs, which God does he have the right to hear about so he can make up his own mind? I'm making an assumption you're a Christian, do you teach your DC about other religions, Islam, Judaism, Scientology, Wicca, as well as atheism or science as I like to call it, would you be happy for your child to make up his or her own mind?

ragged · 10/04/2015 19:23

"Well it's one viewpoint. Other people think we got made in different ways."

I really wouldn't have a problem with her being open-minded to Granny's ideas. I'd only have a problem if she was closed minded to other possibilities.

Floisme · 10/04/2015 19:28

Fine to say 'I believe God made us' but not to present it as a fact.

WellYesOfCourseYouAre · 10/04/2015 19:29

I would say 'Grandma is a bit cuckoo, don't worry about it' and shrug it off.

LittleBairn · 10/04/2015 19:33

Peachy yes when the time comes I will teach my child about Islam and Judaism in a historical context and the points of faith that relate to Christianity.
They will be free to explore it further if they are interested.
I read the Koran (admittedly the Penguine translation) soon after 9/11 when there was a lot of hysteria about the faith.

Paganism is mentioned in the bible too and it will be covered in a historical text about how religions have persecuted them.
I will also mention about how paganism and all major religions can be used to justify atrocities as a way of making sure that they value religious tolerance.

Buddhism will likely feature too seeing as I have friends of that faith and been on Buddist retreats.

My family will quite happily give the atheist point of view. Probably a lot more forcefully than I will give my Christian point of view.

CaptainAnkles · 10/04/2015 19:35

I'd go with 'that's what some people believe.' Followed up with other ideas and your own view, explaining that he's free to make his own mind up about what he believes.

catkind · 10/04/2015 19:44

I'd be interested to know what she actually said.

As an atheist, even to my own children I don't say "god is not real", I say, "I don't think gods are real". I would expect other people to have the same courtesy and tell my children what they think presented as what they think rather than as fact.

As long as it was presented that way, fine. If it was just "god made us" then yes I'd probably feel I had to have a word, or just not send them to granny alone until they'd had enough RE to understand that what she was presenting was a point of view not a fact. Probably unusually radical but it's something we feel strongly about. Not going to go to the extent of withdrawing them from religious observances at school only to have them indoctrinated by family!

Luckily christian MIL is lovely and wouldn't dream of indoctrinating kids.

ilovemargaretatwood8931 · 10/04/2015 19:48

If it was me, I'd welcome it as an opportunity to have a discussion with your DS about what Grandma believes, what you believe, what you see facts as and encourage your DS to use his own judgement.

I'd not have a word with Grandma, if she believes that, that's OK for her. But I'd definitely explain to DS that not everyone believes what she does (and that you and your DH don't), and tell your DS how you think life began- then have fun reading about the big bang etc! I'd also explain that some religious people (many faiths) believe in the big bang and evolution etc too, but also think that God was part of that/ was that.

I love conversations like this with kids!

Bowlersarm · 10/04/2015 19:49

No

monkeysox · 10/04/2015 19:56

Those who are in the UK and atheist: do you celebrate birthdays and Christmas and just ignore the religious side?

SolidGoldBrass · 10/04/2015 20:00

Yup. Birthdays have nothing to do with any particular superstitions, and 'Christmas' is just the current name given to a midwinter festival celebrated in most of the northern hemisphere for centuries.

OTheHugeManatee · 10/04/2015 20:01

You managed to make up your mind. Give your DC the same credit.