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Original poster

To think some people have their heads in the sand about poverty in the UK?

246 replies

MrsFlannel · 10/04/2015 10:28

On here we see a lot about "Don't have children you can't afford" etc.

this article in the Guardian really brings home the effects of poverty today and it's really breaking my heart.

By rights I should be among those who are struggling so badly...and in one way we are...but because I managed to get a degree and get my DC into a school which is good despite living in a very poor area, we're not quite in the trouble many people around us are.

We live in a council estate...all around me is quite terrible poverty. The upsetting thing is that whilst DH and I have decent work...it's not enough to be able to donate to food banks etc....we only scrape by. I'm sick of the people who deny that there's a problem...or shove blame onto "feckless parents"

OP posts:
ilovechristmas1 · 10/04/2015 16:20

how did the Syrians/travelers manage it,im sure it was harder for them but they did

both examples i gave pretty much answered your ?? handwashing and put on a line (makeshift at that) and if no line you would have to make a temporary one in doors

im talking clean school uniforms a priority,so no mass washing indoors for everything,sending children into school dirty is just cruel for them,other kids will notice and can be cruel,that in itself should warrant what im saying

and seriously if no hot water etc is a long going problem,(im not talking temporary) then ??? need to be asked by professionals IMO

ComfortingCwtch · 10/04/2015 16:23

We live in the UK. It's pouring with rain. You have no heating. Your child has one school jumper, one shirt and one pair of trousers. How do you get their clothes dry?

ilovechristmas1 · 10/04/2015 16:23

ok so are you saying that the examples you give powdered soup,unheated flat are long term how some children live,and will continue to live like that ten

ComfortingCwtch · 10/04/2015 16:25

Yes, some people live like that.

fatlazymummy · 10/04/2015 16:25

onlylovers if you have no washing machine you handwash ,borrow someone elses machine or walk to the laundrette. Been there, done all of it.
There really isn't any need for dirty clothes if you actually put some effort in. There's usually a way round problems.

ilovechristmas1 · 10/04/2015 16:25

wash it at night,overnight dry

and it dosent rain everyday,sometimes spring and summer can be warm

and not eveybody who sends their kids to school live in a flat,im sure some live in a house with a garden

NeedsAsockamnesty · 10/04/2015 16:27

I think abuse might be less likely if you don't have the stress of being in poverty, but that's not to say it doesn't happen in wealthy families

Domestic abuse is not caused by stress. It's caused by abusers choosing to abuse.

ilovechristmas1 · 10/04/2015 16:30

ComfortingCwtch to be fare i did know the answer to that,but imo if them children are going to have to live like that all their childhood till they leave home then there is something very wrong within the family

no heating

no decent food

not a decent set of clothes

no proper hot water etc

for all their childhood is just wrong

TinklyLittleLaugh · 10/04/2015 16:30

My friend frequently sends her kids to school a bit grubby. She has ME and her husband works long hours. They are fed and happy though. Sometimes there are disability factors to consider too.

ComfortingCwtch · 10/04/2015 16:31

ilove yes, it's wrong.

Original poster
MrsFlannel · 10/04/2015 16:33

Ilove I can promise you that washing DOES NOT dry overnight in a small flat with no heating in winter. You're coming across as ignorant and silly. And as for your "some have a garden" comment....yes...they might but in the winter the clothing won't dry.

In summer....try finding the energy to wash your child's clothing NIGHTLY as some do....because they only have a few things....it's draining...it's soul destroying and not everyone has the energy or willpower....especially when they're eating badly and depressed.

OP posts:
bodingading · 10/04/2015 16:34

Well, some of it is about chaos, Ptolemy, and resources. I lived on benefits for years and I knew a lot of people on them at that time. My friend who lived down our road got about the same as me each week, but she was (is) permanently broke. When the amounts are so small, even tiny differences can really be huge and a single crisis can snowball and impoverish you for years.

  1. Her house had card meters but mine was direct debit, so she paid more for her gas and electric and she had to buy it in advance.
  2. Her nan was discharged unexpectedly from hospital in her nightie and was found wandering outside by strangers.
  3. She had no transport and she was a single mum with three kids and so couldn't go to get her nan. So she called a taxi to collect her and bring her back to her house.
  4. She paid the taxi with the electric money (about £20)
  5. The card ran out and the emergency.
  6. It was too long til the giro so the food went off in the fridge (about £60)
  7. That's your whole giro (or it was then), and now she's a week behind me.

Add it up over years and you can see how each time she loses a week to me and my living standard pulls away from hers, even though we're on the same money. Another huge one is having an overdraft. I have an overdraft on the bank account my parents opened for me when I was 12. When my friend was 12 her parents were not opening bank accounts. So she had a crap one without an overdraft. (Oh, this is actually the beginning of the story of why she had card meters.)

One time they stopped my giro because someone had maliciously reported me as working when I wasn't. I was exonerated and the weeksworth of money backpaid, but they'd stopped housing benefit too, and that takes FOREVER and the money really stacks up. By the time it was sorted out eight weeks later I was a grand into that overdraft and getting really really worried. But I was only worried. The money was sorted out in the end and I carried on with my life.

My friend's ex partner's mum maliciously reported her and her money was stopped. But (gas, electric etc) bills were still going out, so she went into the red and they started the bank charges. When her giro was reinstated, the whole lot went on bank charges. And now she's another week behind me. So she couldn't pay the next lot of bills and she had to go on the card meters. And she didn't dare to use the bank account again.

It goes on and on.

Original poster
MrsFlannel · 10/04/2015 16:34

Of COURSE it's wrong ILove why don't you go and visit some of the worst off and learn a little bit about why things get that bad?

Generations of abuse, generations of poverty...it breeds ignorance as well as despair. Blaming the poor is terrible.

OP posts:
wootle · 10/04/2015 16:37

There is very little genuine poverty. Most people who think they are poor have no idea of the concept. We have an utterly skewed idea of what are essentials. A phone, tv, computer, washing machine, holidays, 'treats', none of these are essential and should be sacrificed if paying for them leaves you without enough money for food.

Certain types of people have always wasted money, and those same people will always live beyond their means whatever those means are. You could give them £1000 per week and they'd still be outside the foodbank.

OnlyLovers · 10/04/2015 16:37

if you have no washing machine you handwash ,borrow someone elses machine or walk to the laundrette.

  • it's not very warm in the UK, especially in a damp poky flat or house. What if you wash stuff (the only stuff you have; you have very little clothing) for the next day but it doesn't dry in time?
  • whose might you borrow? Poverty is not unconnected to isolation.
  • what if you can't afford a laundrette?
wootle · 10/04/2015 16:42

As to washing, the answer is a spin dryer. Second hand ones can be picked up for £25, maybe less. I've seen them given away free on FB sites before. They are small so don't take up much room and don't need any plumbing in. They leave clothes almost dry, cost a few pence to run. Clothes spun through one would be bone dry in hours, even in a damp home.

ilovechristmas1 · 10/04/2015 16:43

i was bought up on a council estate so dont presume i live in an Ivory tower

i have Bipolar and bring three children up by myself on benefits

just because i see things different than you dosent mean to say i have no idea about poverty

believe you me i have enough experience of poverty,but even that being the case i dont agree with you

Original poster
MrsFlannel · 10/04/2015 16:45

Ilove what do you think should be done to help those living in poverty then? Coming from your past and knowing all you do?

OP posts:
ComfortingCwtch · 10/04/2015 16:46

wootle yes, some people waste money. But when you have lived in the situation of being so poor that the charity shop clothes are too expensive, that you are going to bed when it is dark because you can't afford a replacement light bulb for your single room that you rent and you have absolutely nothing t hen what do you do?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 10/04/2015 16:46

What is essential is defined by the comunity you live in.

yellowsand · 10/04/2015 16:49

I grew up on a council estate and the poverty is absolutely grinding and I agree it is so much harder to escape from it than it used to be. I'm lucky to be an owner occupier now but I'll admit I got a lot of support from my DH, who is from a wealthy background and whose parents helped us with a deposit. DH had the privilege of a great education and got a highly paid graduate position and he was able to fund me through a degree, Masters and unpaid internships so I could eventually get a decent job.

Usually it is only people with very rich parents who have that opportunity (my own parents are on pension credit and certainly couldn't have helped me). The only people I know who have escaped the poverty cycle from my old estate are those who similarly 'married up' (both male and female) - it seems absolutely impossible to do it through sheer hard work these days.

ilovechristmas1 · 10/04/2015 16:49

MrsFlannel so if children are subjected to such poverty all their childhood eg from birth till 18yrs old

no decent heating,no proper nutrition,scarce clothing,no hot water,no activities,do you not think the parents have let their children down or is the states fault ???

Original poster
MrsFlannel · 10/04/2015 16:53

Ilove I asked you a question first...what do you think should be...or could be done to help those in the poverty trap now? Given that you have experience due to growing up on an estate?

OP posts:
bodingading · 10/04/2015 16:54

Oh my goodness me, wootle. I'm trying to think of you charitably and maybe you just haven't been outside since 1961.

You can get a telly for £2. You can get a phone from ASDA for £9 with £10 credit. Food costs HUGELY more than both those things. Consumables are the most costly thing and notice how they are all the things you actually need to stay alive? Food, warmth, water and shelter (rent) all cost every week, every day. And HUGELY more.

You can't eat a telly. A phone can't keep you warm. But you can't really sell them for enough to feed you either and once you have sold your £9 phone for 50p and eaten that bag of rice, what do you do then? Now you have no money, no rice, and no phone. Making up these weird rules about phones and tellies is not sound economics. It's not about reality.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 10/04/2015 16:59

The answer to washing is NOT just a spin dryer. In a British winter you need somewhere warm to dry clothes. Clothes do NOT dry in a damp home.

OF course poverty is relative - we are a first world country so should not be expecting any of our citizens to live as the poor do in Africa. A washing machine is NOT a luxury in 21st century Britain.

It is truly scandalous that there are so many people depending on