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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to absolutely get why people who get no respite from pain commit suicide?

71 replies

ShouldIworryornothelp · 09/04/2015 22:40

DH is being a twat and saying I'm moping, too bloody right I'm moping.

I have been in pain for over half my life. Latterly I've been in horrific pain due to unknown problems with my nerves meaning I get nerve pain in most of my body for around 20 hours in any given day, this has been going on for months and I'm totally at the end of my tether with it, I'm getting no respite and fed up with having to pretend I'm OK.

Don't worry I'm not suicidal. Just utterly fed up and pissed off more research isn't funded in the area of pain management

Aibu to totally understand why people commit suicide in these circumstances?

OP posts:
FuckyNell · 09/04/2015 22:43

Yabu.

Though sorry you're in pain of course. Have you tried a pain management course?

PtolemysNeedle · 09/04/2015 22:44

YANBU. I can't even begin to understand what it must be like to live with chronic pain, it's got to be awful. Sorry for you Flowers I completely agree that pain management needs more funding.

Original poster
ShouldIworryornothelp · 09/04/2015 22:44

Been there done that got the t-shirt tried all the drugs on the market, had a rest from all the drugs, then tried them all again

OP posts:
OrionsAccessory · 09/04/2015 22:45

Yanbu. I'm sorry you're living with pain, I don't think I can even imagine just how awful it must be.

I have a family member who lives with constant pain that has got a lot worse over the past couple of years. It does affect his mental health and he's talked about euthanasia a number of times.

Duckdeamon · 09/04/2015 22:45

Yanbu and I'm very sorry you're in such pain, and hope they find something to help soon.

Staywithme · 09/04/2015 22:47

Yanbu.
So sorry you're going through awful pain OP. I hope you get some respite from it soon. Flowers

WhenMarnieWasThere · 09/04/2015 22:47

I get it, OP. I really do. Nerve pain is beyond awful. I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I was diagnosed the first thing I did was read and re read in different articles how it is described as the 'suicide disease'. It floored me. Rocking and crying time and time again all day. Being unable to eat or drink or brush my teeth without triggering an attack. I'm sorry you are getting no relief. I don't know where I'd be without my lovely and very large dose of anti-epilepsy drugs that numb the pain to a low grumble. Even then, I still would like a day that is free of having pain and being aware of it.

I'm on a few TN groups and in the last year there have been a handful of people who have died either because they actively sought to kill themselves, or because they over medicated to try and get rid of the pain.

Staywithme · 09/04/2015 22:49

Out of curiosity FuckyNell, why do you feel the OP is bu?

Akire · 09/04/2015 22:49

Sorry your having a tough day, people find it hard to believe that you can live with so much pain. They get a headache they take something so they presume if you live with pain then there's lots of drugs will help...er NO

I think it gets harder to deal emotional and physically with not easy to some extent. And of course people stop asking how you cope because you must have got used to it etc. YRNBU to see why people choose to it, and sometimes it can help to know there's is an option there even if you never take it.

Do hope you can try and gets extra support to deal with even if they can't fix.

PeppermintCrayon · 09/04/2015 22:53

Confused by the person saying YABU as well. You're not!

ProudAS · 09/04/2015 22:55

I think anyone who has suffered with severe and persistent pain (whether physical or mental) would understand. That's not the same thing as feeling suicidal.

Someone I knew did take her own life last year due to a combination of physical and mental pain. She didn't leave a note but we suspect it was the pain that she wanted to end - not her life.

Mintyy · 09/04/2015 22:57

Why do you have to pretend you are ok?

Purplefrogeatsalily · 09/04/2015 22:58

Sorry for your situation OP- it's sounds horrific.

'Completed' or 'died by' suicide are better words, though. And I can understand why, too.

Purplefrogeatsalily · 09/04/2015 22:59

Also, on a practical note- have you been referred to a pain clinic?

Original poster
ShouldIworryornothelp · 09/04/2015 23:02

Thank you for your kind words

I have to be OK because I'm the family optimist, the one who plans, does, always upbeat, always there for everyone

OP posts:
Original poster
ShouldIworryornothelp · 09/04/2015 23:03

I've been through pain management several times over the years and find it helps for a short time then my body overrides the drugs and treatments and we have to start again

OP posts:
TheBatPig · 09/04/2015 23:09

I don't know from experience myself...however my sister has terrible pain....nerve pain that will not subside. There's no point in her taking regular painkillers as they make no difference. Usually she is fairly positive but on a bad day, well she says she would rather be dead. I can totally understand you feeling this way...it must be awful

Draylon · 09/04/2015 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatingMyWords · 09/04/2015 23:12

YANBU This happened to someone in my family.

I hope you find something that helps Flowers

Mintyy · 09/04/2015 23:13

Have you tried all the drugs? What about cannabis?

My boss (who has Crohns) has a codeine prescription for life.

Sorry if I am asking obvious questions.

Original poster
ShouldIworryornothelp · 09/04/2015 23:17

I've not tried cannabis yet but have been looking into it

Opiates are only useful if I want to be knocked out, they're fairly ineffectual on neuropathic pain.

I've tried the antidepressants and antiseziure medications tried diazepam and mindfulness and acupuncture and physio and chiropractic and osteopathy and simple sheer bloody mindedness.

Cannabis is looking like a good option

OP posts:
Mintyy · 09/04/2015 23:20

I would urge you to consider it. I have heard some MS sufferers are greatly helped by cannabis.

Original poster
ShouldIworryornothelp · 09/04/2015 23:23

Thank you mintyy yes the reading I've been doing has been on studies and reports from people with Ms. It's very positive. If a bit daunting for someone who doesn't even drink! I think that's what's putting me off it the most!

OP posts:
FuckyNell · 09/04/2015 23:24

not everyone who has pain (and I know people living lives which sound similar to op) contemplates suicde. Well, ok, so maybe they have and haven't told me?

Oh I hope not, now I feel bad!

butterflyballs · 09/04/2015 23:24

I have nerve pain, it's completely debilitating. 9 years and counting. Been through so many cocktails of drugs and none really work. I'm on anti epilepsy drugs now but can't take the full dose as I just sleep all day so not getting the full effect.

Yanbu. No one can understand unless they've lived with it.