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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with my 15 year old Nephew?

31 replies

loveulotslikejellytots · 09/04/2015 22:02

It's DH's Nephews 15th Birthday today. We sent him a card and sent £20 Birthday money, as we do for all Nieces and Nephews Birthdays and Christmas presents.

DH called his Brother tonight to speak to Nephew, but was told he wouldn't come to the phone. He could hear him in the background, so he was definitely there. DH asked DBrother if he'd received his Birthday money, he has apparently. He also refused to speak when my in laws (his grandparents) called. AIBU to think he is bloody rude? (Just to mention there's no additional needs etc.)

DBil's answer when DH said about it being a bit rude was "well, he's 15, what are you going to do'. Not send any more bloody money, that's what, ungrateful little sod.

OP posts:
DoItTooJulia · 09/04/2015 22:05

Oh dear, it is rude. But I have massive amounts of sympathy for teens and their overwhelming hormone changes and synapse explosions, so I'd cut him some slack tbh.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 09/04/2015 22:05

Yanbu - can't believe his parents didn't make him come to the phone.

ilovesooty · 09/04/2015 22:07

I don't think his "overwhelming hormone changes" are any excuse for not coming to the phone to say a quick thank you.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 09/04/2015 22:10

Hormone changes don't justify rudeness. Even when my teens were occasionally grunting monsters at home, they wouldn't have contemplated being rude to family members other than dp and I!

Blackmamma · 09/04/2015 22:11

Rude send manolopy money next year that Wil teach him and see if your dear bil dare say anything

Original poster
loveulotslikejellytots · 09/04/2015 22:11

Just to be clear, I've got younger brothers, a grunted "cheers" would have been great, I wasn't expecting a speech or anything. I actually wasn't even expecting him to speak to both of us, just DH as he was on the phone. Hmm

OP posts:
TwinkieTwinkle · 09/04/2015 22:12

Teenagers are brats. He was rude but not unforgivable. In a few years I'll bet he will be a lovely lad who wouldn't dream of acting like that and with hindsight (if you were to remind him), would be mortified!

iago · 09/04/2015 22:12

Outrageously rude. Play out all your teenage rudeness on your parents but be polite to the relatives. If not, relatives should give diddlysquat in future.

letscookbreakfast · 09/04/2015 22:13

He sounds very rude, if that had been me then my dad would have told me in no uncertain terms to say thank you.

monkeysaymoo · 09/04/2015 22:14

Rude little shit I would certainly not be sending anything else in the future

Marmaladedandelions · 09/04/2015 22:14

He will be shy - my brother was EXACTLY the same as a teenager and still was actually as an adult, quite nice really but just VERY bad on the phone.

Original poster
loveulotslikejellytots · 09/04/2015 22:25

Unfortunately he's not much better in person. Neither is his Sister. They are both quite spoilt. They are coming to stay in the summer holidays, that could be a bundle of laughs!

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 09/04/2015 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JulyKit · 09/04/2015 22:30

Not send any more bloody money, that's what, ungrateful little sod.

And there's your answer.

If only you'd been on loud speaker, and said exactly that.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 09/04/2015 22:43

I've got a 15 yr old ds and I have bought him up to say thank you .it's called parenting
If something is sent through the post he always texts or emails a thank you .

Apricota · 11/04/2015 17:57

Same as my nephews. So after three years of birthdays and Christmas' just stopped. Rather nice actually. Saves having sister being ungrateful and them putting in shopping lists.

LittleBairn · 11/04/2015 18:06

Could you not have waited till the next day for your thank you?

It sounds like its your BIL you should be upset with for the lack of manners, as his parent he should be encouraging them.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 11/04/2015 18:11

I'm astonished that a couple of people seem to think there's some excuse for his rudeness.

DragonWithAGirlTattoo · 11/04/2015 18:16

dont put up with it, if they are rude send them home...

dont send any more money/gifts

DragonWithAGirlTattoo · 11/04/2015 18:17

i'm still waiting for a thank you from my neice, card was sent(by hand) on Monday

BackOnPlanetEarth · 11/04/2015 18:18

It is rude but I might give a bit of slack. It might be that he absolutely hates going on the phone. My uni age son was saying the other day that one of his friends won't make phone calls.

Is it also possible that you called at just the wrong time - maybe he was playing an online game and 'couldnt' stop (team play type of thing).

Obviously that wouldn't have stopped him shouting out a quick thank you Confused

When you see him next how about telling him that you would like him to say thank you? Can you 'tease' him about it?

What's he like the rest of the time?

paxtecum · 11/04/2015 18:20

Why are they staying with you in the summer?
Will they be with their parents?

Dawndonnaagain · 11/04/2015 18:23

I'm sorry, that's awful behaviour. I have children with an ASC and they don't like the 'phone. Everyone knows that they will get a Thank you Card though.

Scholes34 · 11/04/2015 18:25

His behaviour was unacceptable, but equally rude were his parents for not insisting he give a quick thank you. My DCs (all teenagers) would never have got away with that.

Tobyjugg · 11/04/2015 18:27

Not send any more bloody money, that's what, ungrateful little sod.

Couldn't agree more. No thank you = no present.

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