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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not think the birthday where you start receiving the state pension is a "special" birthday

50 replies

ljwales · 09/04/2015 20:50

Just been on the phone to my mum and apparently my dad is quite upset that none of us made a big deal about him reaching the state retirement age. I sent a card and present but I didn't go back as saw them the weekend before and had something else planned that weekend.

I had no idea this is a thing, truth be told I wasn't sure how old he was going to be other than it was late 60s. He stopped working many years ago so the only thing that will be changing is him receiving the state pension.

Aibu to thing this isn't really a special birthday?

OP posts:

OOAOML · 10/04/2015 07:43

My dad retired at 60. He had a birthday/retirement party, it was a big deal. 65 - not a big deal in our family. Clearly it is for some, but in that case I'd expect there to be a family history of making it a big birthday, and comments made in advance of 'dad's big birthday is coming up, what shall we do?'. Waiting to see if people treat it as a big birthday then complaining when it isn't strikes me as - I can't quite think of the word, needy? manipulative?

For me, big birthdays after 21 are the ones that end in zero. For other families, clearly things are different.

straighttothepoint · 10/04/2015 07:43

You can get a state pension between 61 and 68, so why is 65 special? Sorry, I just don't get it. It seems to be in par with 25, 35, 45 etc

firesidechat · 10/04/2015 07:49

I'm probably much closer to pension age than most on this thread and I'm amazed that getting your pension is considered worthy of a wider celebration. My husband and I thought paying off the mortgage would be eciting, but it was all a bit of a non event in the end. I imagine getting our state pension will probably feel the same. It's a nice thing to happen, but why would my children need to make a fuss.

Not to mention the fact that pension ages are going to be a bit fluid in the decades to come and how will relatives keep track of who gets it and when?

ProfYaffle · 10/04/2015 07:55

I think 'getting your bus pass' used to be more of an event when it happened at a standard age but these days it's much more of a moveable feast and not so significant.

Mind you, by the time I can get a state pension I think I'll be celebrating that I've survived that long!

firesidechat · 10/04/2015 07:56

In any case it can't be a thing because card manufacturers make ones for every possible occasion and I've never seen a "congratulations on receiving your pension" card.

Now off to google and see if they do exist.

firesidechat · 10/04/2015 08:00

Well 65th birthday cards do exist, but then so do 25th and 45th and I assume all numbers in between. So a bit meaningless really and not so special.

firesidechat · 10/04/2015 08:04

And retirement cards are real, but always imagined that work colleagues send those.

Couldn't find receiving your pension cards anywhere.

Ragwort · 10/04/2015 08:09

I always think if you want to celebrate a specific birthday it is up to you to host something and invite people - not expect everyone else to rush round congratulating you. Anyway isn't the 'official pension age' different these days? Is it 65? . My own pension age is 67 only 10 years away.

My parents are well into their 80s and although we all celebrate together - with a meal out or something - they set the date for their birthdays (ie: if a Saturday night would be more convenient etc).

Is this a new thing - Pensionerziller ?

JADS · 10/04/2015 08:10

YANBU. He actually retired years ago. He now gets a free bus pass and an extra £150 a week and this is supposed to be a big celebration. Sorry, a present and a card was fine.

If I was getting my pension now, I would hope I would be a bit more sensitive to the fact my children and grandchildren are going to have to carry on working until much later in life rather than be making a fuss about my "big birthday". Sorry if that sounds like sour grapes, it probably is

RustyBear · 10/04/2015 08:10

www.gov.uk/calculate-state-pension/y/age/female

Gobble this link will tell you when your pension is due, at least under current rules. No guarantee they won't change again though.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/04/2015 08:12

Well we did celebrate my Dad's 65th birthday by visiting and family lunch but he was also retiring so it was a big birthday. Not sure it is really if it's someone whose already retired. I think your Dad is being a bit silly really.

Will 65 still be a big birthday as state retirement age goes above that?

Morelikeguidelines · 10/04/2015 08:13

I cannot see how this is a special birthday. Yanbu.

Summeblaze · 10/04/2015 08:13

Yes we had 65 as a special birthday. They have special cards in the card shop too so it must be.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/04/2015 08:17

Just looking at that link my state pension age is 67 years and 9 months. Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue! I don't think I'll complain if my kids don't celebrate that!!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/04/2015 08:19

Notes date in calendar (2045) to complain about lack of celebration!

LynetteScavo · 10/04/2015 08:27

Mil would have been horrified if we'd treated her 65th as a big birthday. She's still working and has a DH who is much younger than her though.

WeAllHaveWings · 10/04/2015 08:39

Dads 65th was a big birthday as that was the exact same day he retired. If he had retired earlier it wouldn't have been such a big deal.

Traditionally this is why 65 was a milestone birthday as it all happened at the same time. Collecting state pension is not "retiring" if you stopped work previously so think you dad is thinking if this tradition, but being a bit U in his circumstances.

Bunnyjo · 10/04/2015 08:45

My dad turns 65 this year - he's more excited about his DGS turning 4 a few days later!

As an aside, state pension age and birthdays do not align up now; my mum will become state pension age in July, but her birthday (63rd) isn't until November...

londonrach · 10/04/2015 09:07

65 is a special birthday. Abit surprised uou dont know how old parents are?

JammyGeorge · 10/04/2015 09:19

I didn't realise that 65 was that significant, no one made a fuss when I was 35.

But when my mum turned 65 there was as big a fuss as when she was 60. Shows what I know!

By the way she's been retired for years.

Saying that my dad has worked very long hours in a hard labouring job since he was 15. We are all counting down the months until he retires next year at 65, there will be a huge celebration for him. But we are celebrating him retiring and being able to rest rather than the act of him receiving his pension iyswim, the poor old buggers knackered.

DidoTheDodo · 10/04/2015 09:24

Perhaps any birthday that heralds a lifestyle change is important?
Perhaps any birthday is important to your dad.

I am surprised you don't know how old he is though.

RustyBear · 10/04/2015 09:40

Bunnyjo- most of the time the state pension will start on your birthday - it's only during the periods when the pension age is transitioning from one age to the next that it doesn't. At the moment it's still going through the change from 60 to 65/66, but by the time I get mine, at 66, it will be on my birthday. Then later it starts to change again to 67 for those born in 1960/61 and again to 68 for those born in 1977/78. These are the people who will get their pension at varying ages - eg if you were born 5 April 1978 you get your pension aged 67 years, 11 months and one day. If you were born one day later you get it at age 68, on your birthday - so you lose almost a month's entitlement.

Bunnyjo · 10/04/2015 10:38

Rusty - I should have said at present in my post, as I am aware of the changes and when they come into force. As luck would have it, DH and I were born in 1978, but we both fall on the wrong side of the cut-off!

I guess the talk of state pension ages for those born in 1977-78 is academic, as even the Government publications state that this is current legislation that may be subject to change. By the time I reach 68, I am quite sure my state pension age will be much older if they still exist, of course...

DH and I were talking about pensions last night (I have just completed the online applications for my DF and DM, so state pensions were in my mind before this thread) and I joked that when it comes to our retirement, the state pension age will be 83; providing you have a burst cardiac aneurysm and your life expectancy is approximately 2 minutes!

Original poster

ljwales · 10/04/2015 17:57

Lol there's no point looking at a state pension calculator unless your over 45, I'll eat my hat if it still exists in a similar form.

Anyway problem solved, invited them round for lunch on Sunday to celebrate. Don't think its 150 a week though, more like half that!

OP posts:

LarrytheCucumber · 10/04/2015 19:12

I got my State pension at 61 years 11 months so it wasn't even linked to a birthday. For women it changes all the time until we arrive at parity with men (65) and then it will change for men too.
Retirement is the thing most people celebrate, not receiving the State pension.

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