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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not think the birthday where you start receiving the state pension is a "special" birthday

50 replies

ljwales · 09/04/2015 20:50

Just been on the phone to my mum and apparently my dad is quite upset that none of us made a big deal about him reaching the state retirement age. I sent a card and present but I didn't go back as saw them the weekend before and had something else planned that weekend.

I had no idea this is a thing, truth be told I wasn't sure how old he was going to be other than it was late 60s. He stopped working many years ago so the only thing that will be changing is him receiving the state pension.

Aibu to thing this isn't really a special birthday?

OP posts:
Moresproutsplease · 09/04/2015 20:52

He's your Dad and you don't know how old he is?

Original poster
ljwales · 09/04/2015 20:55

Well I don't really think about their age unless its one with a 0 or 5 and even if I did Im not sure what age he was getting state pension at.

OP posts:
raffle · 09/04/2015 21:00

My DM thought it was a significant birthday. Not that she expected anymore than we usually do for her birthday. But she did view it as a 'milestone' birthday.

Hassled · 09/04/2015 21:03

If he's already retired then reaching State Pension age is hardly a fanfare and streamers sort of birthday, is it? Is this standard for him - does he always need a lot of attention?

museumum · 09/04/2015 21:05

What is the state pension age?

BaronessEllaSaturday · 09/04/2015 21:06

Surely if he has just reached state pension age he has just turned 65 so it is a birthday ending with 5.

TheRealMaryMillington · 09/04/2015 21:07

Did he actually retire?

TBH anything after 65 deserves a moderate bit of fuss imo

But perhaps he'd just like to see you?

grannytomine · 09/04/2015 21:09

What Baroness said. It is nice to start getting your SRP, I am retired but look forward to reaching SRP as I will be £150 a week better off. Roll on.

Moresproutsplease · 09/04/2015 21:13

I think for men it's still 65 which seems to be a 'special' birthday as it's traditionally been retirement age.

Hope this isn't yet another dig at 'baby boomers'

Harvey246 · 09/04/2015 21:38

Oh god I hope my parents didn't expect me to make a big deal about this as it completely passed me by too! Maybe it has just triggered something in him about getting 'old' hence the odd reaction x

Original poster
ljwales · 09/04/2015 21:42

Oh no this just gets worse, he was 65 when I thought he was 66-67

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 09/04/2015 21:48

My dad was 65 last year. We treated it like a special birthday.

drudgetrudy · 09/04/2015 21:50

Just about to qualify for state pension. My family made a fuss of me on my 60th (didn't ask them to) but it hadn't remotely occurred to me that my most recent birthday was in any way especially significant.

scarletforya · 09/04/2015 21:50

Yeah, I'd view 65 as special. He's officially a pensioner.

DianeLockhart · 09/04/2015 22:06

Yes 65 is a "big birthday" IMO

thehumanjam · 09/04/2015 22:09

If you treat 65 as being special isn't that unfair on the women who have odd state pensionable ages? My mil reached retirement age at 63 and 1 month and I think my sister was something bizarre like 63 and 8 months.

Mrsstarlord · 09/04/2015 22:13

65 is definitely a 'big' birthday I'm afraid.

PtolemysNeedle · 09/04/2015 22:13

I think 65 is a big birthday, and even if it isn't, I'd make an effort to see my parent on their birthday weekend. But I'd also expect that if someone is going to get upset at a lack of birthday celebration that they should try and organise something themselves.

Maliceaforethought · 09/04/2015 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HootOnTheBeach · 09/04/2015 23:20

It is - think on par with an 18th birthday

Gibble1 · 09/04/2015 23:30

I just had a patient who turned 65 about 15 minutes after we admitted him. His gift was us promising NOT to sing for him!
He is retiring this week.
I'd like to be able to retire at 65. How is it that we went from it being unfair for men and women to have different retirement ages so women have gone from retiring at 60 to now facing a retirement age of 68? I know there was big talk of having a cut off date of April 1978 for retirement ages but nothing further has been said. I am most concerned because I was born at the end of that month so which way would I fall?!

Original poster
ljwales · 10/04/2015 07:05

No way is it up there with your 18th - so may things change at that age. At 65 all that happens is you get a state pension.
GiB that's not the point of thus thread, anyway the state retirement age should of gone up several decades ago and as I was born in the 80s I expect to never get a state pension, that's life

OP posts:
LineRunner · 10/04/2015 07:23

Possibly unusually on MN, I can't see the point of making a fuss about adult birthdays. My view is that if you personally feel that a birthday is a milestone in your life, then you can contemplate it quietly. And if you desperately want people to fuss around with bunting and cake and visits then it is only fair to tell them clearly in advance.

It wouldn't really cross my mind that 65 was a milestone-that-requires-a-visit for a person who had already stopped working.

straighttothepoint · 10/04/2015 07:31

Sorry but 65 is not a special birthday. Don't even know what state pension age is - 63,65,67.

Maybe it's more of an old persons thing.

MythicalKings · 10/04/2015 07:36

YABU.

65 is a biggie.

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