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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really pissed off about this?

139 replies

Fanfeckintastic · 08/04/2015 21:40

I was supposed to go to a show tonight with a good friend. The tickets were £65 and my friend booked them on her card ages ago and I transferred the money into her account the same day.

Another good friend of hers (who we'll call Sally) who I have never met seems to be having a really bad time lately, horrible husband (that my friend really hates), money troubles etc among other things. A couple of days ago I said "it really seems as if Sally could do with some time out, do you want to give her my ticket and you two go and make a night of it?"
Friend replied "I don't think she'd afford the £50 for the ticket"
Now we did book the ticket ages ago so it's possible she just forgot the price or something, no big deal, I replied "don't be silly I don't want money for the ticket!"

All good, friend agreed to go.

Sally has just tagged my friend on Facebook at the event saying what a great night etc and also tagged her husband gushing for buying her the ticket

OP posts:

PHANTOMnamechanger · 09/04/2015 12:32

How much of a friend is this friend of yours, that you automatically assume the worst and that they have cheated you/their other friend like this, rather than assuming that friend of friend insisted on paying her way and your friend was going to pass the money on as a surprise to you soon. I don't get why you jump to the 'cheat' conclusion? Is she in financial trouble? Has she a history of lying/cheating/treating folk badly? If so why are you her mate? If she genuinely IS a good friend and 100% reliable to date, why would you assume she had behaved badly this time and was not simply holding on to the money till she saw you? After all it's not as if she knew you were desperate for the money back, you didn't even expect it.

Nightingalemumoftwo · 09/04/2015 12:38

I'd give her a call.

Original poster

Fanfeckintastic · 09/04/2015 13:38

Not a peep today which is very unusual.

I gave the ticket away because it suited me more not to go. In an ideal world I'd have sold it to her friend but I hate money stuff and in my usual group of friends we'd do things like that for each other without a second thought and you'd always get paid back in one way or another eventually. In this situation it probably was a bit foolish but I really didn't mind losing out on the money, especially considering the bad time of it her friend had been having etc.

I think the reason I jumped to the conclusion is because my friend is very very aware of money, watches ever penny, sells things around the home to friends (unopened tea towels etc, things other people would just give away), she's not short of money at all but just very wise/watchful of it. Which I'm not saying is a bad thing, I wish I was a little bit more like that myself but basically I wouldn't put it past her.

OP posts:

annielouise · 09/04/2015 14:06

I think the thumbs up means she's annoyed as she's been rumbled but knows she can't wriggle out of it. But I don't think she'll rush to pay you back - maybe next week you'll get it. People's attitude to other people's money amazes me sometimes. That thread the other day about the £20 for the event that the one woman said she wasn't going to pay her friend back for as her son didn't like it!

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 09/04/2015 14:29

Oooh, I want to know how it pans out . Hope you get your money OP, I do admire people's gall though

Patapouf · 09/04/2015 15:45

I hope she didn't charge Sally £65 and is only going to grudgingly hand over £50!

PHANTOMnamechanger · 09/04/2015 15:47

is the extra £15 a booking fee or something? not place marking at all, oh no not me

OnlyLovers · 09/04/2015 15:49

I agree, she's rumbled and knows it and is either avoiding you or buying time to cook something up!

CrapBag · 09/04/2015 21:56

Are you going to contact her again about it?

Rafterplease · 09/04/2015 23:57

Lots of very mean people on here who are upset you gave something to a stranger. Why wouldn't you? It's a lovely thing to do and you should be commended for it.

Original poster

Fanfeckintastic · 10/04/2015 12:12

I tried to get on yesterday but I kept being diverted to the Luas website, very strange!!

After silence all day I sent a message asking about the night and apparently she's ended up fainting and has to have an MRI so it's not really the right time to chase it up.

Possibly the worst update ever, sorry!

OP posts:

PlumpingIsQuiteUpForThud · 10/04/2015 12:19

Hmm.

I bet that it turns out to be nothing. Politely wait a few weeks until she's quite well and mention the money again - she'll have a sudden relapse

OnlyLovers · 10/04/2015 12:47

That's SO cynical, Plumping! I concur

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 10/04/2015 12:52

After silence all day I sent a message asking about the night and apparently she's ended up fainting and has to have an MRI

bollocks, you don't have an MRI after a single faint.

Satsumafairy · 10/04/2015 12:54

I can totally understand your feelings here op. I quite often do nice things for people I don't know very well. I like doing it, and if It makes someone happy that makes me happy. However, your friend has secretly profited form this (potentially) which is underhand
and dishonest. Am with pumping on this I'm afraid!!

Lesausage · 10/04/2015 12:58

You know it's always convienient when people have medical emergencies right when they have been rumbled for something etc, hopefully she's ok and it's all genuine but seriously the amount of threads I see where someone has an "emergency" gets my goat.

Mermaidhair · 10/04/2015 13:00

I think what you did, giving her the ticket was a very sweet and kind gesture. You seem like a lovely lady. I'm wondering if your friend tried to give her the ticket, and she insisted on paying for it? Maybe not, in which case I think it is reasonable to expect friend to give you any money she had sold it for.

PlumpingIsQuiteUpForThud · 10/04/2015 13:03

this tactic is also favoured by parents/in-laws when you disagree with them over something.... I think all the stress drives people to clumsiness, myself it's not that they're making shit up, oh no

lunar1 · 10/04/2015 13:32

Why would her friend have posted saying it was such a great night if the other person had been rushed to hospital!

I think it's just cost you £65 to find out that your friend is a liar and thief. Who does that to a friend!

annielouise · 10/04/2015 13:46

Yes, another tactic to make you feel bad OP. Surely she'll end up waiting weeks for an MRI? I'd phone again next week and say hope all is well but could you return that money as bank account needs feeding, something like that. I can't believe people. To be caught out then to keep trying to wriggle out of it, hoping she'll play to your better nature.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 10/04/2015 13:46

An MRI???

katiekatie · 10/04/2015 13:54

Is there something else going on with he health because you don't get an mri for fainting?

Only1scoop · 10/04/2015 14:07

I thought she'd commented that she'd had a great time....

A tad confusing and a little far fetched

Stealthpolarbear · 10/04/2015 14:12

how odd

Stealthpolarbear · 10/04/2015 14:19

I'm confused, who has fainted? friend or Sally?
and whose husband - I assume Sally's

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