Beautiful kitchen....but at a price

[madasa]

I don't really know what I want anyone to say, I guess I am just having a rant.

We are currently putting a new kitchen in....when I say 'we' I mean DP. It is a large kitchen and I was happy to pay for it to be fitted (we have the money)

DP absolutely insistent that he would fit it. He is a carpenter and joiner and I know when it is finished it will be beautiful.

However...as is often the way we have hit numerous problems and now DP is practically re plumbing the whole of the kitchen.
He is in a foul mood (understandably) and I am trying to keep out of the way in between supplying sandwiches, taking crap to the dump and keeping the cats out of the way.

I just can't stand the amount of stress it causes, I cannot wait to go back to work tomorrow just to get out of the way.

I know I'm lucky to have a DP that can do this work but AIBU to just refuse never to have any major work done in the house again?

The stress is enormous, I am sat in the bedroom keeping out of the way and thoroughly miserable.

I know he takes pride in his work but I would happily pay to avoid this atmosphere.

Rant over!

[DrCoconut]

Neither of us are skilled at DIY beyond a bit of basic painting, so I'd rather have tradesmen in

[CruCru]

Argh! Having work done is awful. YANBU.

[BuggersMuddle]

Those looking for a fixer upper - be careful what you wish for! We bought one thinking it would be a gradual process, until we discovered something that needed all the floors up on 1st floor and then most on ground. I didn't hold a dinner party, or even a small gathering for years (actually bugger that, I didn't have anyone but the most understanding friends / family round for years).

DP is not a tradesman, but an engineer. He thus has sufficient understanding to do all the electrics (barring what needs signed off, and even then certain things can be checked and signed off afterwards by a qualified person), plumbing etc. I am not either of the above. I've done a good chunk of wiring which was not entirely what I signed up for!

[NiceBitOfCheese]

DH loves DIY. It seemed a good idea in the beginning ... saves us a fortune and everything is done just the way I we he wanted. Those wishing they had a handy other half, read on.

Any money saved on tradesmen has been spent on tools. None hired, ever: all bought ('cheaper in the long run'). Tools take up space. They require consumables: blades, belts, etc which he never has when one breaks. He can't work without spreading everything out, everywhere. Despite that, he still can't find anything when he needs it. The rest of us waste endless time running around looking for things which usually turn up in his trouser pocket.

DH works to an impossible schedule and is a perfectionist, and no criticism is allowed, ever, in any way, shape or form. At least if there was a 3rd party in the form of a tradesman there would be some solidarity in the two of you sighing together over his tardiness / mess / unreasonableness etc.

When things don't go to plan (which seems to be far too often) he gets stressed, he shouts, he swears, he blames everyone and everything except himself. Oh, except when he IS blaming himself, using even fruitier language. I'm getting tired of the drama.

He thinks he's doing us all a favour and that DIY is not in any way a self-indulgent hobby. The fact is, we have a choice about how to spend our time and money: he is choosing to do this, and as a result we never do anything else together.

Recently we have been doing up a house for our DS to move into. DH was getting frustrated at the slow progress - we could manage to go there only one day per week. Well, he was the one who insisted on papering every ceiling as well as the walls, painting everything with 3 coats, etc. The house was empty and I told him a painter would have it done inside a week at an affordable rate, but he just ignored me.

Having said that, the end result is always good. I'm just not sure the end justifies the means any more.

OP, I hope your new kitchen is usable very soon.