Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my 2 1/2 year old should sleep through the bloody night?!

29 replies

sleepy11 · 08/04/2015 14:13

My toddler is a crap sleeper - always has been. She can physically sleep all night and has done so on numerous occasions but it never lasts more than 3 or 4 nights at a time.

Currently, we seem to be on a pattern of 3 or 4 wakes a night. 4 bloody times a night and she is 2 1/2!!!

She either wants a drink or her quilt putting back on. We got rid of her dummy a couple of months ago in the hope this would work as it did with her brother - no luck. She shrieks like she is being murdered, you go in, "I want a drink" calm as you like. She clearly knows how to get us in there.

Is it too much to ask that she just sleeps?! I am knackered!!!!!

OP posts:
ahbollocks · 08/04/2015 14:18

my ds tries it on but I just say 'nope, its night time now.love you' and walk out.
Takes a few tries but it works :)

mrsnoon · 08/04/2015 14:19

Get a valved sippy cup and one of those elastic grippers for her quilt. Tell her where her drink is when she goes to bed and put it in easy reach. If she calls you for a drink tell her where it is then go back to bed. At 2.5 she's old enough to be left to scream a little bit. Mine was an awful sleeper until I toughened up a bit.

GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate · 08/04/2015 14:21

Urgh! That sounds grim. My similar ages DD is generally pretty good but when she's playing up we've tried everything. Does she have the understanding to respond to bribery? If it's just a drink she wants can you leave a non-spill cup with a nightlight so she can help herself? I'm assuming you already keep it as boring as possible when you go in so that she isn't just seeking the attention. Does she respond differently to different people?

TarkaTheOtter · 08/04/2015 14:23

What would happen if you left her a drink beside her bed? Or do you think it is jut an excuse.
My dd (now 3 sob) is a bit like this. She can and will sleep through but still wakes once a night on a regular basis for lots of mainly bullshit reasons. No advice because whenever we solve one problem (scared of the dark - bought nightlight, kept coming into our room - bribed to stay in bed all night etc etc etc) it only lasts a few weeks before she's waking again.

motherinferior · 08/04/2015 14:28

Oh sweetie, yes, sounds utterly grim and toughing up (slightly!) the only way. I know that there are people who'll pile in and say 'oh I haven't had an undisturbed night in EIGHT YEARS' or suchlike but honestly, by now a NT child should get the hang of night-time being time for sleep/quiet. Not getting enough sleep must be wrecking you, so I would grit my teeth and try to be a bit tougher.

ChatEnOeuf · 08/04/2015 14:33

YANBU. Neither am I in requesting that my DD (3.5) gets the hang of it before number 2 arrives, I don't think Envy

BertieBotts · 08/04/2015 14:42

Ooh yes pre-empting works great. There is a lovely bit in the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers where she describes making a little book with your two year old with real photos where you say "When DD was first born, she slept in a little plastic cot in the hospital. When she was 4 days old she slept in a moses basket. When she was 3 months old she slept in a cot, when she was 2 she slept in a bed (etc)" and then do pages for every eventuality.

"If DD needs a drink in the night, she can have a drink from her blue cup"

"If DD is lonely in the night she can cuddle up to her teddy"

"If DD's covers fall off in the night, she's so big and strong she can pick them up all by herself!" (If they are too heavy you could look at changing it - Ikea do a nice lightweight toddler size duvet)

etc etc. Obv don't add "scared" etc if she's not been scared, you don't want to add anything new for her to use as an excuse. Maybe leave some pages blank so you can add stuff later like what to do if it's too dark (turn on nightlight) or needs a wee (potty in room) etc.

Or even without the book I used to just go through the list with DS, it worked. He didn't go to sleep so easily but he stopped waking in the night.

Original poster
sleepy11 · 08/04/2015 15:50

Thanks all - you are probably right about having to be a bit tougher. The problem with her is that she is also pretty bloody minded and I worry she will scream her brother awake if left for too long!

She does get bribery (magic stars worked a treat for potty training!) and she is due to share a bunk bed with DS but has been told she is banned until she stops yelling in the night.

I will have to try the sippy cup - I am loathe to have a night light as she is the kind of child who pings awake with a chink of light but it could be the lesser of 2 evils I guess :(

I guess the main problem is that when she wakes she automatically cries so I am not sure if she would think to look for the cup despite being a very capable child usually. I guess we won't know til we try!

The quilt wouldn't be an issue if she didn't kick the bloody thing off herself!

OP posts:
GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate · 08/04/2015 18:33

Re the quilt, if you're willing to throw money at the issue the gro company do a sort of zip on bed set which can't be kicked off. Worth a try?

ahbollocks · 08/04/2015 18:35

I should have said- whrn ds was at his worst I boufht a george pig duvet set (he loves him!) And that really really helped too

chickenfuckingpox · 08/04/2015 18:59

does it happen at a certain time? my son usually kicks his duvet around eleven so i go in after and recover him there is nothing i can do about the two am wake up and mommys bed wail somedays he just wants to sleep tucked into my back im sure it cant be comfortable but its how he likes to sleep wedged in knees in my spine head pressed against my neck grossly uncomfortable for me (wedged up against the wall) but he is a peaceful lad as long as he is co-sleeping with someone! he also gets in with his brother if im not in bed and he wakes up!

Luggage16 · 08/04/2015 19:38

My boy is 4 1/2 and still not sleeping through - I feel your pain! He has additional issues though so we try not to get too worked up over it. sleep deprivation is like torture though!

Is there something in particular triggering the wake ups? I agree with others maybe worth putting a drink in there with her or having a no drink in bed policy (mine don't have drinks at night as my eldest still isn't dry so we have to restrict fluids after dinner). Is she maybe scared of the dark and feeling lonely?

Hope you find a solution soon

lertgush · 08/04/2015 19:51

Go in every 10 minutes and say something really boring then leave. Don't get her a drink, don't touch her duvet, don't hug her, don't interact in any way other than saying the same reassuring boring thing.

Repeat every 10 mins.

This worked magic with my 2.5 year old and was advice given to me by a HV who had seen it work on a lot of toddlers.

daffsandtulips · 08/04/2015 19:52

My son never did either and I also feel your pain. But in hindsight, I was very soft. I just couldn't bear to think of him crying so always gave in.

daffsandtulips · 08/04/2015 19:55

By the way, he's now a teen and sleeps for England Grin

MammaTJ · 08/04/2015 20:48

AIBU to think my 9 1/2 year old should sleep through the night?

Sort it, or you will end up in my position, DP sleeping downstairs with one of them and me up in 'our bed' when the dinosaurs roamed the earth so that whoever is with DD can stop her waking DS, who needs his sleep!

BertieBotts · 08/04/2015 20:51

Give her the sippy cup, but not a nightlight. Before bed, say "Remember if you're thirsty in the night you have your cup right there"

If (when Grin) she wakes in the night, don't go fully into the room but stand at the door and say "DD, your cup". It just takes a few times for them to actually remember to do it for themselves.

Iggly · 08/04/2015 20:55

Are you sure she isn't hot and getting thirsty?

What tog quilt does she have?

My 3 year old never fails to amaze me with just how little she needs at night time. 4 tog duvet through winter and now it is spring she doesn't need much in the way if bedclothes.

Does she snore? If she does, she could have mild sleep apnoea hence waking up. Also sleeping with a mouth open makes them thirsty.

Gunpowder · 08/04/2015 20:55

Mine is the same OP. And DC2 Is due in 3 weeks. AARGHHHHH. We are now trying night light and sippy cup in reach but it's not working! Going to try Bertie's book idea.

Gunpowder · 08/04/2015 20:58

For those of you who were too soft and gave in, what age did they finally start sleeping through?

daffsandtulips · 08/04/2015 21:05

I cant speak for others here but probably around 5/6. I had to check under his bed, in the wardrobes, make sure the curtains were shut without the slightest gap though Grin He still never actually slept through the night but it was easier to put him back by then.

Dakiara · 08/04/2015 21:08

I gave in. Am a wuss.

My son was around four to four and a half (we had to teach him how to close his eyes and go to sleep), and my daughter (born six months after cause I somehow wanted to reset all things back to no sleep hell Wink ) sleeps through now at three. Apart from her waking up perhaps once or twice a night for four out five nights a week. Bloody close enough though; I am feeling almost human for the first time in seven years! Grin

Original poster
sleepy11 · 09/04/2015 14:00

Iggly - I never thought if she was too hot, just that she is too cold, hence the wanting the quilt back! I think the duvet is probably around 10 tog and she sleeps in a fleece onesie at the moment.

Not even sure if the drink thing is genuine or just an excuse! I think the next step will be to try the sippy cup and see how it goes.

Also, whilst I am here, can anyone explain why despite all this, I would actually quite like another baby?! Confused

OP posts:
Flugdrachen · 09/04/2015 14:09

none of mine have slept through at that age - dd1 was about 5, ds2 still doesn't (he's 8 with ASD), dd2 did at 4 but then started getting night terrors, ds2 is 4 in June & sleeps through 4 nights out of 5 ... which feels pretty miraculous to me!

you have my sympathy though!

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 09/04/2015 14:09

i am rather grumpy in the night, i got my kids night light/torches so when they wake they can see the torch and look for/ at anything they want to.

So they can find their drink, own way to the loo etc.

And if they called me with stupid reasons got a very short sharp telling off.

Swipe left for the next trending thread