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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this nurse was not appropriate

49 replies

Notmymuse · 08/04/2015 13:49

I'm a type 1 diabetic and had to go for my joyous annual foot check. I'm a teacher so always go in the holidays and today I ended up having to take ds with me.

When I went in the nurse asked if I was type 1 or 2. When I said type 1 she asked if I took insulin. I said yes and she said sagely 'yes yes, it's important to take insulin if you're a type 1 diabetic.' Startling information given that I've had the condition 23 years.

She then went on at length about how important it is to have your feet checked. This is what she said:

You must have your feet checked, it's very important because being diabetic means you might have to have your feet amputated. That means cut off! Or even your legs. We still have people being amputated even now. I can think of three in the last few years. One was a heavy drug user, one was morbidly obese and didnt look after himself and the third never attended any hospital appointments or took her insulin and had also gone blind.

Lovely. Well those situations don't apply to me happily. She then said: just because you're young you can't ignore the condition. Young people always think it won't happen to them but you could easily have to have your feet cut off.

I'm 32 by the way. So not that young. And I'm very very very careful with my diabetes. Very. I attend every check I need to, I test my sugars, I exercise, I watch what I eat, my hbA1c is always excellent. Basically I do my very best so to be told 'just because I'm young doesn't mean I can ignore it' is annoying. I'm not bloody ignoring it!

Anyway what annoyed me the most was the fact ds (5) was drinking all the information in and is now worried that a) I will have my feet cut off and b) I'll go blind.

Furthermore when we went in ds said cheerfully 'we're here for mommy not me, I'm not diabetic.'
And then just as we left the nurse said to me 'he might not be diabetic yet but his risk is much higher because of you.'
So now he's worried about that too. I was well aware of the increased risk but it wasn't something I particularly wanted him to be aware of at the age of 5 unless necessary.

I suppose the answer is not to take him with me but id no one else to have him and given that I'm at work when he's at school and it's tricky for me to get term time off I didn't have much option.

Sorry it's long but seriously, was there any need? She was so patronising too. She spoke to me as if I was a child. Why go on and on about amputation when it's clear I take the diabetes seriously. If I was poorly controlled and rarely attended appointments I could understand them trying to impress the importance of it to me but I already know it's important. That's why I go!

OP posts:
JustHavinABreak · 08/04/2015 13:57

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Her behaviour strikes me as being very unprofessional. In order to perhaps save someone else from this kind of trauma, I think I would make a formal complaint. At the very least, I would head back into the hospital with DS in tow so the very same nurse can explain to DS how Mummy is perfectly safe as she has been doing all the right things. Maybe if she were confronted with the little boy she has upset she might think twice about opening her big mouth in the presence of children again. What a fool Shock

differentkindofpenguin · 08/04/2015 13:58

Wow was she even a real nurse??? That's shocking!

I'd have a quiet word with practice manager!

I'm usually the first to stick up for fellow HCPs, but that was tactless, misinformed, and potentially breached confidentiality

TonyThePony · 08/04/2015 13:59

YANBU.

I'd be tempted to complain, I think she clearly lacks tact and should have been much more aware of your son's presence. Poor thing does not need to be worrying about (I'd say unlikely in your case) scenarios.

Completely unnecessary.

TheHobbit · 08/04/2015 14:02

My gran took her diabetes extremely seriously and in the end she had five toes amputated and eventually her leg.

mistressploppy · 08/04/2015 14:03

Good grief! Yes, agree with JustHavin - please do write so others can be saved a similar fate. She probably has no idea how awful she's being and will carry on blithely thinking how THOROUGH and HELPFUL she is, if she's not stopped...

Crossfitmyarse · 08/04/2015 14:03

Oh for fuck's sake, what an arse of a woman.

She obviously has been on some three day course within the NHS that 'qualifies' her to do her job Hmm and she has so far failed to grasp the difference between type 1 and type 2, and has gone into over-enthusiastic overdrive lecturing anyone who stands still long enough about the Ticking Timebomb that is type 2 diabetes. Patronising twat.

I would complain and say she needs extra training.

TedAndLola · 08/04/2015 14:04

I'm a type 1 and had an appointment with my diabetes specialist nurse today. I think I would complain if I were in your shoes. This nurse needs to know that isn't an acceptable way to speak to a patient, let alone when her young child is there.

I love the "it's important to take insulin", since without it we'd be dead in a few weeks at most!!

I don't want to follow suit and tell you stuff you probably know, but your son's risk of type 1 is only slightly higher than someone with no diabetic parents. It's not a strong genetic link like type 2. IIRC someone with two type 1 parents only has a 10% chance of getting it - though there might have been new studies since I heard that.

Arsenic · 08/04/2015 14:08

I said yes and she said sagely 'yes yes, it's important to take insulin if you're a type 1 diabetic.'

Shock

Talk about scaring people with faint competence.

Well done you for still being brave enough to hand your feet over.

MrsPeterQuill · 08/04/2015 14:12

Yanbu

And how awful for your poor ds. It's incredible how many health professionals know little or nothing about Type 1 diabetes, even the basics. You should definitely complain.

ActingBusy · 08/04/2015 14:15

Are you sure she wasn't just the cleaner who'd read a few leaflets and fancied having a go while the actual nurse had popped out for a wee Grin

MissDemelzaCarne · 08/04/2015 14:20

YANBU, that's terrible - complain.

Pippin8 · 08/04/2015 14:22

Inappropriate, I feel. In my experience, people with certain medical conditions usually know way more than the health professional, as they manage it day to day.

Also, it's usually strikingly obvious when a person is not compliant or does not manage their condition well. But, even then education is needed not being patronised & scared Half to death.

ChatEnOeuf · 08/04/2015 14:24

Definitely not unreasonable. I'm Shock at her attitude. I'd certainly complain about her - knowledge sounds patchy at best, appropriateness of delivery of information was woeful and depending on the practice size she could well have breached confidentiality.

FoodieToo · 08/04/2015 14:41

Awful, awful stuff from both a professional and patient treatment perspective.

You have posted very clearly here.

Write it as a hard copy and forward to whoever is in charge , local NHS etc.

Mrsmorton · 08/04/2015 14:45

OP, YANBU but you write very well and you did make me laugh. Not at your diabetes obviously. Wow, what an appointment! You must have been so frustrated!!

CrabbyTheCrabster · 08/04/2015 14:45

Talk about scaring people with faint competence.

^^ this made me Grin.

YANBU OP, that's very unprofessional and totally inappropriate in front of your DS. She needs retraining, and fast, so I would definitely make a complaint.

Crossfitmyarse · 08/04/2015 14:49

LOL at acting Grin

NobodyLivesHere · 08/04/2015 14:54

She sounds like a moron. And thats putting it as nicely as I can.

Minshu · 08/04/2015 14:58

Reminds me of the baffling attitude of a nurse lecturing me about the importance of MMR as if I was one of the anti-vaxxers while I was bringing my child in for her MMR. Confused At least DD was too little to understand the content of her words.

jasmine1979 · 08/04/2015 15:09

Please complain about this. I wish I could say I was shocked, but sadly I'm not. My son has been a type 1 since he was a baby (so 15 years) and we've encountered many a nurse like this recently. (there are also some fantastic ones out there though I have to say. Smile )

The overexposure about type 2 diabetes in the media seems to have meant that everybody suddenly seems to think they are an expert on diabetes and it's had a huge effect on him and his confidence sometimes. You will often hear people tell stories about their elderly relatives being diabetic and the complications they have had, whilst not actually having a clue about what type of diabetes they had or undersanding how much easier it is for type 1s to at least monitor their blood etc.

We had to do major damage control several times when medical professionals thought it was ok to tell a 6 year old all the grusome complications that might occur due to his condition.
Especially annoying as my son has always been pretty much a poster child for the clinic and we have always kept him in excellent health so they couldn't even use the excuse of scare tactics to ensure he's looking after himself. I've found it often happens when you are passed around seeing different people who have no chance to get to know you, time to read your file etc.
We actually went to have his blood taken last week and the nurse looked at him and said "but why are you having this test done, you're not diabetic" we explained he was, and she actually said the words "but you don't look it, you look fit and healthy, and you're too young anyway." and wandered off to double check with the consultant. That one did shock me!
In my experience Pippin8 in exactly right in that often the person with the condition and their family usually become far more knowledgable on the subject than people who have only studied it and not lived it day in day out for years.
It sounds like that nurse could do with a lots of extra training and I hope your son isn't too worried about you. Flowers

ARoomWithoutAView · 08/04/2015 15:13

Complain - purely so that no one else has to go through that totally unprofessional drivel.

TremoloGreen · 08/04/2015 15:55

Was she drunk?! That is complete and utter madness and no way for a HCP to behave. I agree with the PPs who said copy and paste the bulk of your post into a complaint letter to the practice manager.

AlpacaPicnic · 08/04/2015 16:00

Good grief. That's really... Just awful.

In unrelated news, op - can I tell you all about the importance of breathing in, followed shortly afterwards by breathing out?

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 08/04/2015 16:01

The way she lectured you does sound awful but tbh I wouldn't be surprised if there was some directive from managers who never have any contact with patients that nurses must talk to all diabetes patients about insulin, risks etc. So even if she thought you didn't need to be told she had to do it anyway in case you were asked to fill in a questionnaire and said she didn't speak to you about it, which would get her in trouble.

Either way, complaining

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 08/04/2015 16:08

Sorry, posted too soon.

Either way, I think complaining would be a good idea, either so this nurse can be spoken to/ retrained or so that whoever's idea it was to lecture patients about diabetes will know how unhelpful it is and rethink it.

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