to think that the snobbery surrounding cheap toys is sometimes entirely justified?

[OstentatiousBreastfeeder]

I've heard lots of people say that cheap toys are as good as the expensive ones, and to spend your money on the high-end stuff is completely unnecessary.

My SIL, for example, says she can afford to buy her children toys every week - because she buys them from poundland. She says they don't last very long, a couple of days at most sometimes before she chucks them, but they get variety and the excitement of something new more often than they would if she had to save up to buy them more expensive ones.

My parents bought the kids some toys for easter from the pound shop. It was a few cars for DS and a plastic doll for DD. They're crumbling to pieces after a few days, the doll was made with plastic so thin it was hard to believe it had stayed together this long - it's all gone in the bin this morning - It was a choking hazard.

I didn't expect them to last long obviously, but it occured to me as I was throwing them away what a huge waste it was. You can't recycle these materials and the cars and the doll were one of hundreds of thousands that were being (and are still being) produced to such a poor quality. All of these toys will end up in the bin very soon after purchase.

AIBU to think that maybe the snobbery surrounding these poor quality, cheap toys is justified? I don't mean the good quality toys that happen to be cheap to make, so end up in pound shops, bouncy balls, marbles etc. I mean the toys that are made to look like their expensive counterparts (barbies etc) but are made for pennies.

Has anyone else got an ad for Big Yellow Self Storage on this thread?

no just you

DD was given a cheap-ish Chad Valley kitchen once, which is an unusable, flimsy piece of shit. I can't justify chucking it out but would've far preferred to get a decent one ourselves so the DCs can open the oven without the damn thing collapsing. I would far prefer to receive something small.but.of good quality, or nothing at all. I know that sounds snobby and ungrateful but there it is.

I don't think so lapsed

I know what you mean I have the same problem.

is ok when it's birthday presents as you can clear out before and the people giving aren't around your house alot. you send out the thank you cards and genuinely are appreciative but you do with as you please because a) they won't know either way what you did with it and b) unlike with family they don't ask for pictures with the kid playing with it, ask questions about if they like it, or are around during assembly where you have to put it together hoping the poorly moulded pieces fit.

It's the impulse buys from family that are the problem alot of the time.

I think it's possible to be thankful and polite and teach the kids to be grateful and gracious and still secretly wish they'd let you buy the one you had researched and reviewed heavily and started saving for.

YANBU. DD has a Barbie type doll from a pound shop, you actually have to take the head off to be able to put the dresses on and it is always shedding limbs about the place

Plus I find, that people on a low budget know how to buy cheap. they but things like pens or paints or play dough pots or books and those are all fab. they are use able and functional and the kind of things kids love and duplicates aren't a problem.

It's those that aren't used to having to budget so much and like to treat the kids. they pick things up as they are cheap and don't realise it's flimsy or poorly made.

YANBU OP, but there is also a difference between cheap toys sold at official Poundland shops and other types of pound shop or bargain superstore.

We have one of the latter in my town and everything (including a lot of the craft supplies) is shoddy. I recently went into a nearby Poundland for the first time and was amazed at how much better quality and inclusion of brands they had.

Both sets of our parents kept mine and DH's childhood toys - Fisher Price, Sylvanian Families, farm animals, Duplo etc. and a lot of it has survived hard playing for 30-40 years! My toddler now adores it too. Decent toys last many generations and it has been a wonderful nostalgia trip getting them out again.

MIL loves giving a big pile of gifts at every occasion, but it's often cheap tatty stuff that breaks, or doesn't work, or is just inappropriate. Drives me nuts as I'm trying to teach DS not to want a heap of stuff, but to appreciate and look after what he has, and also to think about resources, not creating landfill etc. There was almost war at Christmas as she bought him some really big toys which we just don't have room for, and then went into a huff when we said they had to stay at hers. She always comments that he has no toys and we don't buy him enough. In reality he has box-loads of stuff, mostly second hand as it was from friends of mine whose kids are older. But she's horrified at the thought of secondhand anything. When she's out anywhere she'll find a cheap shop and buy a few presents for each grandchild. She has to be seen to give. Also insists on watching the child open all their parents at Christmas/birthday - I recently watched my 5yo niece to open about 10 presents with barely a glance, literally just chucking them aside.

My mum, on the other hand, loves a bargain. She'll buy DS one decent thing at Christmas and birthday, and then maybe get a few books and games in the charity shop if she sees ones he'll like. If she sees something he'd like during the rest of the year, she might buy it but keep it till his birthday - he doesn't just get handed it. Much less work all round!

YANBU.

I like cheap things and a bargain but not when it comes to quality toys. I like things that will last as I hate waste and like a pp said, my DCs get very attached to their toys and would be devastated to have them keep breaking and being thrown away. My nan often gets cheap bits so they have more but they always break and it drives me mad that she has effectively thrown her money down the drain. She got these little bat and balls with the string attached for easter, I think they actually lasted 20 seconds each!

I rather buy second hand quality toys rather than cheap toys.

If toys break so easily then the child will never be able to learn to look after their possession.

Giles, how old are your DC? We have tat buying relatives and the older the kids are, the less tat seems to be coming our way. So hopefully light at the end of the tunnel.

I found a few things helped:

'MIL I'm so proud of DC, guess what they watched Red Nose Day and had a big sort out of toys to give to children who aren't as lucky as them!'

'Oh no, DH (YOUR SON) has let the children play in the garden and they left the X out and now it's rained and broken (so don't bloody blame me)'

Also when DS started collecting trading cards, MIL now wastes £ on them but at least they are just printed cards, fit into a folder, and can be recycled eventually.

They are 8 and 4.

Dd already said she wanted more grown up things so fingers crossed the message got across. I'm trying to clear out some of the old stuff but they pulled it all out the bag

seriously you had it for your 2nd birthday it's old

This reminded me of learning about potlatching when I was at school, so I looked it up and had a good time imagining the reactions today if governments banned the practice, on the grounds of its being against Christian practices or accumulation, or words to that effect!

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potlatch

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potlatch_Ban

YANBU

I would sooner buy the cheap toy (actually cheap, like you said in your OP), rather than a cheap version of a more expensive toy.

If i can't afford the expensive toy, then my dd will have to go without, or i will try to find it in a charity shop, or if someone has a hand-me-down.

There's really no need to get a cheap cheap toy, because you will always end up with something inferior.

I think it's very largely to do with the "want now, buy now" society that we have become.

YANBU I don't like to spend loads on toys but I won't waste money on toys from the pound shops/ markets etc. they are cheaply made and just break.

If they want to save money, why don't you suggest looking in charity shops. I find my son some good toys. Last week he got a tub of cars from the early learning centre for £2! Or Ebay. You donnt have to spend a lot for good quality toys if you are willing to buy second hand

Giles We are struggling with similar. What has helped is getting one set of grandparents to pay for swimming lessons instead of giving gifts. They occassionally come and watch the lessons, take the DC swimming in hols and buy new trunks/costumes at birthdays. My in-laws are a whole different ball game however - proper abundance issues. I forget to take toys home from their house - anything given to us while visiting them stays there and I never ever mention how skint we are anymore. Christmas is a fiesta of unwrapping - even the DC get bored wading through it. Two Christmasses ago I manned up and invited them to stay for several days over Christmas. It was a bit of a shock to them to see how much was binned through breakage or missing parts by Boxing Day, how much I packed away as it was age-inappropriate and the three large boxes the children voluntarily filled with stuff to take to the charity shop. It has got better since then, but the giving is still needlessly and stressfully too much volume and too low quality. They firmly believe it is better to spend £75 per child on a massive pile of tat than £20 on something the child will actually enjoy. DD2 received 3 lunchboxes (one with broken zip and one with split handle) last Christmas - she has free school meals and has a lunchbox for the odd trip already which Grandma bought the birthday before. It is a compulsion to buy and give - an abundance addiction - not a rational behaviour. I have hardened now and just dispose of stuff asap - sadly much of it is not fit to donate to a charity shop. The children just accept it as an odd "old people" behaviour, like the old lady down the road who wears her slippers to the shop and my DF who dribbles when he eats.

See I think family think it symbolised generosity whereas I think it shows just how little they know about them.

I've lost count how many times I've said, they have your love and your time that's plenty.

I just despair of the current culture that sees it necessary to constantly give children toys, ALL the time. I get a lot of toys second-hand (charity shops, ebay, facebook, NNS etc) but even those aren't handed out on a daily or even weekly basis. And I encourage DS1 to spend his pocket money on toys that are well-made, and explain the difference between something that will last, and something that's far cheaper but will fall apart and be more disappointing (he's a bit of a pocket money hoarder, which helps).

Quitequietly - My PIL also tend towards the 'pile 'em high' philosophy at Christmas and Easter and I wish they wouldn't. The boys will get, typically, 12 parcels each from them at Christmas (which they don't need and usually don't want half of) and most of them, because of the sheer quantity, are cheap knock-offs of better-known toys and brands. A 'fake' playmobil pirate ship that wouldn't fit together, stay together or work. I bought a second hand playmobil pirate ship, plus a large boxful of accessories, off facebook for ten pounds.

yy glom

I mean if I posted on here that I can't walk past a shop without buying something for the kids people would tell me I have a problem.

I get tired of the rolled eyes because dd is still waiting for something or I haven't bought her as it's going cheap somewhere

first up I want what I buy to be what it's supposed to be. that entails some shopping around sometimes.

Secondly, do you know how ridiculous the kids look trying to squeeze themselves into clothing that's too small just because it's got hello kitty /MLP/MH/kittens on it. and surprise surprise I can't exchange it for a larger size cos you bought it weeks ago and they stopped selling it.

There's a reason I don't allow my kids to go mad on merchandise. and yes maybe dd will have a bit of a moan that she wasn't allowed something buy I can't afford yo replace expensive items like shoes bags coats lunch bags etc in a few weeks when they have moved onto the next craze.im not being mean but I'm not buying something impractical and the wrong size just because it's themed.

And then of course there's the upset when one fits one kid and not the other. so they do the polite thanks and hugs part then dd2 ends up with all of it and dd1 has nothing cos it doesn't fit.

A day out or a sleep over would be so much better.

Ah the easter egg mountain, buckets of Halloween sweets and tat, Christmas gift lake...

I still have a book that my mum got for Christmas (she got that and a teddy bear, which I also have) and inscribed inside is 'to bla bla bla, with lots of love from daddy (in France), feb 1945' (obviously a late Christmas present!).

Kids today...

Cheap can encompass a lot - there's cheap and there's tat. For instance, I bought a perfectly usable balance bike for £10 in Aldi, because I fail to see the point of £50+ Kidimoto ones. Same for scooters - the rate my kids wear them out, I buy one every few years when on sale. I hate cheap jigsaw puzzles though, the card is too thin and they are a waste of money. Cheap board games with flimsy pieces annoy me, but if you can't afford anything else they are better than nothing.

The pound shop sells packs of condoms...

Condoms are free from clinics! No need to chance poundshop ones.

Exactly. Who'd trust £1 a pack ones...?