AIBU to ask about late development in toddlers?

[LadyDowagerHatt]

Just posting here rather than the development board as I'm looking for answers from anyone who has been through this and what was the outcome for your DC.

My DD is 21 months and isn't walking or talking. She demonstrates some understanding but it is not great. She is really happy and social - laughs and smiles a lot, 'dances' to music and singing, has always wanted to be held and be cuddled (I do wonder if this has contributed to the not walking). She has hit her earlier milestones a little late but not worryingly so e.g. sat up unaided at 7 months, crawled at 12 months.

We have an appointment to see a paediatrician in May (earliest we could get). When the HV and a GP saw her at 18 months they didn't seem too concerned, just said to wait and see.

I am getting really worried now, she just seems so far behind her peers and there doesn't seem to be any area she is progressing well with e.g. non talkers are often very physical or have good fine motor skills or vice versa. On the one hand I hear about late developing toddlers where they have a sudden leap at some point and catch up and I hope that could apply to her. On the other hand I worry that there is something wrong (no idea what?) and what the future may hold for her. People say that you often know right from the start if there is something not quite right with your child - even though she is my second I have no idea, apart from the obvious developmental delays.

I know I have to wait to see the consultant and nobody can form an opinion without seeing her, I just wanted to get an idea of others experiences with this.

My child was a late talker, to the point that they tested my child's hearing twice. And never crawled, but walked at 13 months.

Now, at nearly 6, my child walks and talks and does all of those things.

21 months is still very wee. I'm glad you're seeing a pead. I won't tell you to not worry, because of course you will, but I would imagine she's going to get there in her own time.

I'm sorry you are having a troublesome tired, there's nothing worse than being worried about your child. I know people say all children are different and comparisons shouldn't be made but it's not that easy is it.

My friend has also got a 21 year old and although he is mobile he doesn't talk or babble. He doesn't particularly smile either, he never seems happy. He also has a few behavioural issues, hitting, biting, pinching etc and I know she is planning on speaking to her HV. I think she is also concerned there may be 'something wrong' with him. She also has another child (DD who is 5) who hit all her milestones appropriately, hence why my friend is concerned.

I'm sorry I don't really have anything helpful to offer, I just wanted to offer some support and that I hope everything turns out ok

My friend has got a 21 month old DS, not 21 years

My friends dd is similar and she has just been discharged from speech and language. At 18m she had no language at all, just sounds, but now at 20m she is putting 3 words together and her speech although is not super clear is really really coming on.
So.... I would say, things may change and change quickly. Your right to see the peadatrician, good luck!

My 1st didn't stand till a year and walked at 15 months. All fine now
youngest is barely talking at 2 1/2 although improving each day.
Good luck at hospital

Hello OP
When you say isn't talking or walking - do you mean no words and not cruising or not putting words together?

Thanks do much everyone for your replies.

Harleyjosh - she babbles and can say mama and dada but no recognisable words. She is cruising along furniture but cannot walk or stand unaided.

I would go to baby sign groups - ds is going to speech therapy and a lot of that is making sounds with hand gestures to reinforce the sound and it may encourage communication

My dd3 is now 7. Unlike oldest two she didn't walk until 18 maths and didn't say more than mummy until she was a good 2. She had real issues with speech and had a stutter. After false start with nhs speech therapy we went private and she started school at 5 with speech that was recognisable and the stutter had gone. She is prob below average for reading and maths but in normal range . I empathise I worried constantly between 2 and 5.

Writer Sorry but your typo has made me laugh a lot
OP my daughter was similar....... she was a bit lazy re: the walking especially and preferred to crawl fast/cruise on furniture and absolutely no issues now.
As I understand it Einstein didn't start talking until he was 4 or 5

Does she have a push along?

Also have her ears been checked - Dr can refer for tests pending the paed and it may be a test ticked off when you get to the paed - could explain lack of balance and of talking.

My ds is five and he has bad speech delay. He see's a salt in school, he's making slow progress but I'm honestly not expecting anything miraculous to happen.

Ha, forgot to say, me too writer!

Maddening - she has a push along, she would never choose to use it but when we stand her up and put her on it she will take a few wobbly steps. Very jerky movements - she kind of pushes it away and drags her feet along, not very controlled. Then goes back down to the floor and crawls.

My dd is now 2.5, she asked by two and motor skills are now normal. However I've recently found out her hearing loss is significant enough to have caused her speech delay (her speech is still like your dd's). I didn't guess, do check it.

Also Maddening, I had wondered about her hearing - I was thinking they would test it when I see the paed but that's a good point that it would be worth getting it checked earlier by the GP.

All my children have/had speech delay, one child is complex. HV look for 50 words by the time they are two (at 2 year check). None of my children have met this and been referred to speech and language.

Is this a private pead? Did HV refer - as they wouldn't refer if they weren't concerned about an issue. The walking side wouldn't worry me as much as lack of talking.

Purplepoodle, it is NHS. I took her to see the HV in December at 18 months about the lack of walking, she said she was weight bearing fine and she fully expected her to be walking by February. When she wasn't I phoned the HV and also said that her speech hadn't progressed and the HV asked me if I wanted to be referred. I also mentioned my concerns to the GP in January when I took my DD about a chest infection - he said he agreed with the HV to wait and see with the walking and not to worry about the talking, he said his nephew didn't speak until he was 3. I'm now wondering whether to go and see a different GP in advance of the paed, see if I can get them to check her hearing etc. It'll probably seem like I'm wasting their time when I already have the paed referral but it's just so long to wait.

Zzzz thanks, I will check out the salt referrals.

Not sure how bendy she is but her feet do turn right out. I was wondering about hypermobility from my Dr Google research. Also, don't know if this means anything but she is never still when we stand her up - constantly doing little 'bounces'. She stood on her own for a few seconds today, I remember saying the reason she did it was she kept her legs still. My MIL said she seems to prefer to dance rather than walk!

I dont live in England so we have different referral process. I'm presuming paed is going to look more at developmental and walking. I would push in the speech front - if there is an issue the early support is given the better the outcome. If you can self refer for speech that's great. Otherwise I would push for a speech and language referral for assessment and a hearing test - ours have to be done by ENT at the hospital where I live so you have to get a seperate referral from gp or speech therapist and the waiting list is long.

Btw I didn't spot the speech issues with dc2 as his were completely different from dc1. Dc1 just had a few single words and wouldn't join them up. Dc2 says words but incorrectly - more complex. I was over joyed he was trying words and seemed to have a good range so didn't pick up on his issues until they were pointed out to me at 2 year assessment so you don't always know.

It could be anything or nothing, but you are obviously worried so I would go and speak to another doctor to put your mind at rest.

IME the waiting and worrying is the worst part of it when you think something may be up. So push for an appt with another GP and write down all the things you want to run past them so you don't forget to ask them when you're there.

Hopefully it'll be nothing. FWIW my DD has SN and I was sure something was up, certainly by the time she was one, let alone 21 months. So trust in your instinct but go and see someone for your own sanity.
x

I think your consultation with a paed is really important. My DS had a minor delay with movement. The paed ruled out more serious issues quickly and organised specialist paediatric physio for hypermobility. The change in 4 months is phenomenal. Meantime, do you go swimming, kicking in water can really bring on muscle strength to help compensate for bendiness. In fact, because we swim a few times a week with our DS, who is similar in age, we masked his hypermobility for a bit.

Thanks all. I've downloaded a SALT self referral form and I'll get a GP appointment.

Ivegotthree - would you mind telling me how you knew something was up with your DD from such an early age? I'm worried that I may be sub-consciously ignoring other signs in DD that should be ringing alarm bells. Sounds stupid I know, I just worry that I could be wishful thinking and not facing facts IYSWIM.