To think someone who constantly talks about their weight is extremely boring.

[amazegumball]

I have a friend who is of average weight but would of course like to be slimmer .
Whenever we talk or go out anywhere it is constant talk of

'Do I look fat ?'.
Constant talks of new diet , exercise etc.
It bores me to death.
We all have insecurities but the drown on and on about them to me is just really self absorbed.
Aibu?

My DHs stepmum has lost a great deal of weight by going to slimming world, we are very happy for her and proud, we do not however need to sit and hear all about what she eats, what has "syns" what her friends have lost, how many lengths she's done in the pool etc

It was interesting for about 30 minutes

I find this as well, usually at mum and baby groups. I don't really understand the constant chat about it. It gets dull as does anything else talked about too much.
I'm really happy for a couple of my close friends who have lost a load of weight recently (in the region of 8 st) pretty amazed at what they have achieved actually. But even they don't go on and on about it. I don't think it's about how big you are or how much weight you're losing.

Im a size 6 and I had really disordered eating as a teen and found that scales made my problem so much worse. I woke up one day a couple of years ago and just threw them in the bin and I've never looked back. I didn't gain much when pregnant but not intentionally, and my body has changed still anyway. I don't really know how much I weigh now. I find personally that I am happier that way.
So, I make a pretty boring participant in a conversation about weight loss, I tend to just sit there and pretend to listen.

Boringly self obsessive. Nobody is interested apart from the person obsessing over it. Eat or don't eat, be fat or thin. I don't give a shiny shite.

Exactly! I know I am boringly self obsessive - I always have been and I always will be. But I have decided I no longer want to bore anyone else with it, or let them bore me. I just don't care about anyone else's issues surrounding their weight or their opinions on my weight.

Yanbu. It's mind numbingly boring. A relation of mine once put on a photo of herself some years ago on Facebook, a really nice photo as it goes but she spoilt it by saying. "In my fat days"

She wasn't fucking fat though! Not then and not now. Literally every photo of her has some mention of her weight and it's always her who brings it up.

Her status's are of the "Going for a carvery, I'll regret it when that dress doesn't fit but who cares?"

Err fucking you and only you love!

Another "Diet starts Monday"

Followed by "Need to get back on this diet" a fortnight later.

Interspersed with. "Just had a big fat fry up, just want I needed to sort out my hangover. Drinking those Sambucas seemed a good idea at the time lol"

And so on and so on.

I think I need to hide her from my newsfeed.

It's sad social conditioning that women have been brainwashed into thinking in terms of naughty food, breaking their diet etc etc. We should have curves not look like a clothes hanger!

But try telling that to people who spend their life "struggling"with their weight just to get into a size 10, 12, 14 or whatever. I'd say ban clothes numbering for a start. It's bollocks.

I think the problem is that people don't have more interesting things to talk about.

I know quite a few people who have no particular interests, don't read, don't follow the news, etc, so they tend to talk about their kids' schools, their dogs' social life, and their home improvements.

I find schools more interesting than weight loss, but renovations and dogs are absolutely deadly dull, worse than weight loss as a conversation topic.

The problem is intellectual poverty, or maybe the real problem is that people are afraid to say anything even mildly controvertial. When I think about it, these people are often well educated and perceptive; they may well have interests and opinions which they just don't think are appropriately bland conversation topics.

I think I agree with you daisychain
I am like a clothes hanger though.. Though I have gained weight since being a teen but I am happier now. I don't try to stop myself gaining weight anymore, but it doesn't happen very easily.
A lot of women I know who do this are not fat. I think it's really sad, because they look fine. The couple of friends I mentioned who lost a lot of weight were really overweight before, but they're not exactly skinny now, just healthy. It's about being happy in yourself, not striving for a particular size.

My mum is really bad for this, she's a size 10 and is obsessed with her weight, she put a lot of bad ideas in my head as a child.
I recently picked her up on it as she said to my 10 year old niece (who is very skinny and leggy like most kids) "don't eat too much of that, you don't want to turn into a big fat blob, and there's nothing worse that being fat"
She got really defensive and claimed she was joking but I was like
My niece will go through puberty soon and her body will inevitably change - she will likely gain weight as that's what puberty often does. Comments like that will stick with her. It worries me a lot.

If it's not weight it's the endless boring conversations about weddings or children. People seem to be losing the art of genuine conversation.

This drives me absolutely crackers, it's SO dull. I have a friend who complains about her weight and not being able to fit into her clothes literally every time I see her... usually while she's stuffing her face with cake I practically have to stuff my fist in my mouth to stop myself saying "either do something about it or shut the fuck up about it". Don't get my wrong, I can be sympathetic to weight struggles (I struggled with my own for over 20 years before I decided to be fat and happy) but please, find someone who is interested. Ie. not me.

cookpass I'm sorry that I didn't notice your post up thread, as I am totally empathetic towards what you went through earlier in your life. You have done great things to rebalance your relationship with food and body shape. I'm glad you have been able to watch out for the messages your niece is picking up!

My analogy to a "clothes hanger" comes from the fashion industry where all the models are intentionally super-thin, which doesn't represent the majority of females. It sets such skewed expectations and pressures. OTOH, Some people are naturally slim and some even find it very difficult to gain weight, so it must be a different challenge for them, trying to maintain body weight.

The OP wanting to get down to such a low weight in a relatively short time has serious health risks, of which none of the people on here are qualified to say if it is safe or otherwise. Only a GP with the OPs medical history can give the safe answer, so maybe the best advice is "go to see your GP"

MIL is like this. She's lost weight by low carbing and has to make comments about how she can't eat so and so because it's just 'too heavy for me' or she'll eat a salad when we're out then go on about 'ooh that was just right, no carbs, low fat and healthy, lovely' making those who've eaten a roast and pudding feel like right greedy buggers.

I just get annoyed by the constant comments.

I agree but just watched a thread where everyone agreed with a woman whose poor DH got sick of it and basically pulled her up on complaining about her weight all the time while eating chocolate and crap.

Of course, that thread was in relationships and since the poor guy was in possession of a penis, clearly he WBU and she was the victim. I was the only person pointing out that people who go on about their weight are tedious and irritating.

YANBU. It's very, very dull.

YANBU OP. I hate whenever I go out for dinner there's always one person that starts off a chain by going on about how they've been 'saving themselves all day' or 'eating so well all week they can indulge'. The same people constantly harp on about their weight but never seem to truly stick with anything.

ApplePaltrow Perhaps you should link them to this thread? I'd pull my DH up on it if he was moaning and not only doing nothing about it but doing all the things that add to the problem. Either sort yourself out and do something, don't keep doing the same things that don't help and moan about it. That's boring whether it's about weight, food, a partner or a job: either put up and shut up or try and do something.

Yes daisychain, i totally agree with the 'naughty food' thing and weight being a 'struggle', attitudes like this when passed onto kids can be dangerous. These things can become an obsession when you're not careful. It often doesn't need to be, unhealthy food can be ok in moderation. In our country weight seems to be a big problem in two different ways: people who are very very overweight, and people with eating disorders. I'm hoping my niece will end up neither, and I'm trying to bring my own up to have a balanced relationship with food.

But people rattling on and on about diets and weight loss is only contributing to the huge obsession with food. And yes, for most people it's bloody boring! A diets fine, an obsessions not.

maliaki - are we allowed to link threads? If so, I will.

The worst is when you are fatter than the person complaining!! What do people expect you to do in that situation?

ApplePaltrow I think so, I've seen other people doing it on other threads.

Do you lot ever bother to tell your friends and colleagues this, or do you just like to bitch about them behind their backs?

BIWI I tell my friends every time they start it which leads to nothing because they same thing happens again, it's one (same) person who starts it off and most of the others start thinking they need to. Hence the 'put up and shut up or do something about it' which I've been told in the past by friends for some things and I've said and I've said back to them for others!

My colleague is like this. She has no idea what food is healthy or not, does slimming club but will not learn to cook. I get sick of hearing about it especially when she starts telling me 'facts' which are utter bullshit. Trouble is she is so lazy and doesn't understand what proper exercise is. So she eats crap and moves v little and pays £5 a week for a load of 'ra ra go girls' bollocks. And thinks she is doing ok. Because it's good to lose it slowly and ok to put some on if you've been out/on your period/felt poorly etc etc excuse - I could've made her a decent diet plan but she is so blinkered to this scheme.

My Silis like this. Drives. Me. Fucking. Nuts.

I don't fit this, I don't fit that, I don't have any money to buy clothes but spent £100 on a set of Pilates dvds that I deemed too hard so don't do. I have: static bike, trampoline, bouncy ball, pool - none of which I use to lose weight. I bake cakes constantly and my fave is tiramusu.

Wow, that felt good. She is also extremely jealous of the weight loss of two friends: one has Crohns, the other has just finish a 5-year course of steroids after having breast cancer. Sil cannot be avoided, unfortunately. And, as a pp noted, suffers from 'intellectual poverty' and has nothing else to talk about.

I have pointed out her ridiculous comments about our friends, BIWI. I am also the size of a small house after having DS and Dsil is a size 10-12.

Another long-suffering friend here BIWI - I've had it for years (still love friends dearly, drives me up the wall though). In fairness I think people are making general observations of frustration and possibly do try to say something tactfully, but it's the person's mindset, which is so engrained... maybe from childhood. It is very hard to get someone to stop calorie counting if they've done it for years.

One DF at work had a 'naughty drawer' - Monday it was "right everyone, I'm back on my diet today" swimming at lunchtime ... etc by Friday the drawer was full, and it was "the diet starts Monday, I've been "good" all week". More yoyo that Toys R Us.

Please ElQuinto, don't mention tiramisu .... mmmmm