To wish people would tell you if they have sick children

[Totality22]

Went to visit a friend on Friday (doesn't live that close so it was a bit of a journey) and upon arrival it quickly became obvious her twins had a cold.

I know I am being a bit precious as it's 'just a cold' but we have had so many fucking illnesses I don't want anymore.

Baby is only 10 weeks old and she has already had a cold.

Anyway, friend doesn't even acknowledge her kids have a streaming cold. I am talking about sneezes and snot and lethargic kids quite unusual in 3yo twins

Baby was asleep in pram for first hour, toddler I couldn't do much about.

When baby woke up I did mention kids being ill and said (very diplomatically) that I wasn't going to put baby to close to them. At this point friend finally said "yeah they seemed to wake up with a cold this morning"

We didn't stay too long, maybe two and half hours....

Baby of course wakes up this morning with a fucking cold.

This has completely scuppered my plans for Easter as we were due to visit relatives for lunch today but one is very old and frail so I am not wanting to pass anything on. Also am meant to be seeing a friend tomorrow who has a premmie so won't be able to do that either.

So annoyed that friend didn't even give me a heads up!

It's not the first time I've had this happen either. I have another friend who bought her 5 year old round when baby was just a week old he was off school with a fucking cold - although she didn't stay and only popped in to drop off a gift and have a peak at baby.

Vomiting or flu then I'd avoid, otherwise it wouldnt even occur to me. If I kept my kids off School every time they were snotty, my eldest would miss half the winter term.

It was a cold. That's kids. YABU. Now, if it were chicken pox or measles or d and v, then fine , rant away to your hearts content.

I've got a 5 and 2 year old. And I always warn others if we're due to get together. Even if it's just a cold. It's their prerogative if they wish to catch the cold or not.

YANBU

Usually the people we visit have kids the same age who usually attend daycare, so usually arent fussed if mine have colds. But I always give the option for them to decline. And I am usually given the same courtesy. Even though my kids are 5 & 2, i still get pissed off if friends come over with a streaming colds. Ok, my 5 year old is at school, and so is likely to bring home lots of viruses, but why increase the chance?!

And, with little babies, (

The OP isnt discussing whether to keep kids off school if they've got a cold. Of course not (unless a massive temperature), otherwise they'd never be at school.

But it's still thoughtless to infect little babies needlessly.

Toddlers seem to permanently have a cold/ streaming noses. You'd have to lock them up all winter!

Actual illness, d&v, chickenpox etc or seriously unwell with a cold then yes keep them away from others.

Colds are just day to day occurrence over winter though surely. You can't avoid colds and minor bugs (obviously those with compromised immune systems need to but onus on them/ their parents to check) unless you become a recluse. You'd probably still get something though...

My SIL did this with chickenpox. Twice.

With a standard cold and 3 year olds YABU. If I avoided company every time my toddler had a runny nose we'd be hermits. In fact it's so run of the mill to us that it barely registers as a cold. I appreciate it is annoying when a young baby gets a cold though.

YANBU. My 6mo DD has still not met her "godsisters" as we haven't been able to find a date when (a) we're all free and (b) none of the four children are ill. With a toddler or above I might be a bit more relaxed but particularly where a newborn is involved it's polite to tell the other parent and offer to rearrange.