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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this a bit rude?

41 replies

lill72 · 02/04/2015 18:37

I took some easter eggs to a mates the other day, so the children could have an easter egg hunt. I had catered for a few more children than there were, so had brought quite a few eggs. I said to my friend just to put out how ever many she thought enough for the children present, as we didn't want them to get too much of a a sugar rush. So she put out a few eggs, less than I would have. fine. But then tied up the bag and put it on the kitchen bench. There was no mention of asking me if I'd like the rest back, as there were a few packets left over. I would not have taken them, but it would have been nice to be asked.

It was as if she had put out the least possible for the children and then thought oh good, I'll pocket the rest. I just find it a bit rude. Anyone else?

OP posts:
RoganJosh · 02/04/2015 18:38

Maybe she forgot to say something.

PumpkinsMummy · 02/04/2015 18:38

Why didn't you just ask for them back when you left?

Original poster
lill72 · 02/04/2015 18:39

maybe - but it seemed quite deliberate the way they were tied up and put away. I dunno.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 02/04/2015 18:40

I don't think that's rude, it's just a misunderstanding. She thought they were a gift, you wanted them back.

SunshineAndShadows · 02/04/2015 18:41

You brought the eggs as a gift. You told her to keep what was left over. You wouldn't have taken any back with you.

What exactly did you expect? You told her to keep the leftovers and she did. Not rude- people don't usually reject gifts - it's seen as being rude Easter Wink

pictish · 02/04/2015 18:41

Erm...no?

Original poster
lill72 · 02/04/2015 18:41

Pumpkins - I would never do that!

OP posts:
monkeysaymoo · 02/04/2015 18:41

you're upset because she didn't give you back something you didn't actually want back?

pictish · 02/04/2015 18:41

She did exactly as you told her to. And now you're peeved about it?

QueenBean · 02/04/2015 18:42

You brought them as a gift

You didn't want them back

YABU

Original poster
lill72 · 02/04/2015 18:42

I disn't want them back. Just would have been nice to have been asked.

OP posts:
monkeysaymoo · 02/04/2015 18:43

They weren't put away though just put on the kitchen counter? Maybe she did it that way so the kids wouldn't get into them?

UpSheFlew · 02/04/2015 18:46

Maybe she just assumed that you'd brought them all for her and didn't intend to take them back? Turns out she was right so yep, sorry, yabu.

QueenBean · 02/04/2015 18:49

OP, just to save you some time, about 90% of posters are going to tell you YABU

You're going to counter with "no I didn't want them, would've been nice to be asked"

Everyone will respond YABU, with a few "yes it's a bit off for her not to have asked you but you didn't even want them so let it go"

There we go Smile

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/04/2015 18:55

Your friend listened to you, that you wanted her to hold a few back, so the kids didn't have too much chocolate, and was trying to do the right thing.

It was as if she had put out the least possible for the children and then thought oh good, I'll pocket the rest You don't think much of your friends, do you?

Sorry, YABU.

SergeantJarhead · 02/04/2015 19:06

If I hadn't put them all out Op I would have said to you 'I've put what's left on the stairs/in the hall/by the coat stand for you to take back with you' as I think that's the polite thing to do.
Did your friend at least thank you for bringing them for all the children?

YANBU.
(I've had something very similar and worse done to me at parties/meet ups ;) )

MammaTJ · 02/04/2015 19:44

But then tied up the bag and put it on the kitchen bench.

So they weren't put away as such! They were tied, so young children could get at them and casually put on a bench!

Hardly the time of the century!

DontWorrryBaldrickHasACunningP · 02/04/2015 20:47

You are being ridiculous.

SonnyJimBob · 02/04/2015 20:52

I would've offered you the rest back, but not everyone would, and that's life! Perhaps the thought didn't even cross her mind because she is preoccupied with other things that are far more important.

BatteryPoweredHen · 02/04/2015 21:37

Ah, OP, you have committed the MN sin of expecting someone to show you some basic manners and courtesy.

On MN these things have long since gone the way of the dogs in favour of 'getting over yourself'

Yes, what she did was quite rude, but that is apparently perfectly ok these days.

MidniteScribbler · 02/04/2015 21:52

If you go to someone's house for dinner and you take a bottle of wine, but only drink half of it, do you expect to take the bottle back home with you?

camtt · 02/04/2015 21:57

NBU - first, your friend sounds as if she was being stingy with the eggs she did put out, second, I think it would be only polite in that situation to offer you the unused eggs back.

NickiFury · 02/04/2015 22:03

"Would have been nice to have been asked."

I statement that without fail makes me feel unutterably weary and immediately tells me all I need to know about that person.

Fairenuff · 02/04/2015 22:12

Gifts that come with any expectation are not gifts.

Happy36 · 02/04/2015 22:46

You are not being unreasonable. Your friend should have offered you the eggs back but I think she probably just forgot. It sounds like she tied them up to stop the children from taking or asking for more.