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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find this a bit rude?

41 replies

lill72 · 02/04/2015 18:37

I took some easter eggs to a mates the other day, so the children could have an easter egg hunt. I had catered for a few more children than there were, so had brought quite a few eggs. I said to my friend just to put out how ever many she thought enough for the children present, as we didn't want them to get too much of a a sugar rush. So she put out a few eggs, less than I would have. fine. But then tied up the bag and put it on the kitchen bench. There was no mention of asking me if I'd like the rest back, as there were a few packets left over. I would not have taken them, but it would have been nice to be asked.

It was as if she had put out the least possible for the children and then thought oh good, I'll pocket the rest. I just find it a bit rude. Anyone else?

OP posts:

pictish · 02/04/2015 22:46

I said to my friend just to put out how ever many she thought enough for the children present, as we didn't want them to get too much of a a sugar rush.

See...it's awkward from the outset. Is it a gift...is there a limit to how many she can have? Do you want them back? Who the fuck knows. Just bag them up, leave them there and hopefully it'll resolve itself.

Murder. Socialising is hard sometimes.

monkeysaymoo · 02/04/2015 23:12

I remember being on holiday with my mum and brother when I was 9 and we made friends with another family who had a girl my age at the time. My mum would often offer the girl an ice cream when getting me and db one and the girl always declined. One night her parents offered to buy me and db one. My brother declined I said yes. Man I got a massive bollocking off my mum for that.

Mum "I can't believe you said yes that's such bad manners"
Me "But you always offer her one"
Mum "Yes because it's polite to offer but she always has the manners to say no"
Me

mommyof23kids · 03/04/2015 07:08

They weren't really used for their intended purpose were they? You brought them for an egg hunt and she was stingy with them. It's a bit like bringing a couple of bottles of wine for a dinner party. Telling the host the wine is for the party and finding everyone gets a half a glass and the rest goes into the wine cellar.
The problem seems to be that you brought the eggs for an activity and they weren't used for that activity.

TheSkiingGardener · 03/04/2015 07:22

Oh Christ.

Say what you mean, mean what you say.

And don't get pissy because someone hasn't guessed that you didn't mean what you actually said but wanted them to abide by some rule that only you know in your head.

Mrsstarlord · 03/04/2015 07:30

TheSkiingGardener

Sound advice.

Only1scoop · 03/04/2015 07:34

Yabu

Like taking someone some cake wanting to be asked if you want to take the remainder home.

DamselNotInHerDress · 03/04/2015 08:02

Sorry, to clarify, was the egg hunt for yours and her dc?
It's not clear, I took it to mean you bought them and took them to her house for her dc and some of their friends.
In which case, why wouldn't she have bought them herself?
Anyway, YABU only because if you take a donation, you don't get it back. unless you are my tight arse SIL

Ginmartini · 03/04/2015 08:09

You sound a bit of an arse, OP, to be honest.

Threesoundslikealot · 03/04/2015 08:13

Do you know she didn't mean for you to take them home with you? Left on the bench doesn't actually suggest an intent to keep them to me.

Purplepixiedust · 03/04/2015 09:10

It sounds like she thought all the eggs were for her kids and you were asking her to limit how many were put out at that time to avoid a suger rush. Thats how it comes across to me. YABU.

AmysTiara · 03/04/2015 11:04

No need for that Gin. Unnecessarily rude.

op it sounds like the whole thing was a bit confusing. She probably had no idea you wanted her to give them back.

BatteryPoweredHen · 03/04/2015 12:05

Just because there are (an apparently ever increasing number of) people who are not aware of the unwritten rules of polite social interaction, that doesn't mean that the rules don't exist.

It just means that some people will always be on the 'polite and courteous' side of a social divide, and other people will always be on the 'rude' side.

It is the DCs of people like this I feel sorry for, as there won't have been anyone to teach them any better. When they come to look for jobs, they will find themselves at a massive disadvantage compared to those who have been taught how to be thoughtful and polite.

Balaboosta · 03/04/2015 12:18

Why didn't you just pick them up and take them with you? If I was your friend id have worried about asking in case it looked like I was fishing to keep them. I wouldn't even have wanted to keep a load of crappy egg chocolate in the house so how do you know she wanted to keep them? YABU

Catsize · 03/04/2015 14:44

OP, are you the type who gioes out with friends for a meal and then only pays for what you had?

Feminine · 03/04/2015 16:22

Honestly, op was just hoping for the option to take them home.
Confusing l know.

thornrose · 03/04/2015 17:02

don't get pissy because someone hasn't guessed that you didn't mean what you actually said but wanted them to abide by some rule that only you know in your head.

That needs to go on a T-shirt.

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