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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you have found any unexpected perks that come with becoming a parent?

221 replies

mommabear12 · 01/04/2015 23:15

Was just wondering as I used my default excuse for not attending another tedious fourtieth birthday party "we can't get a babysitter" (haven't even asked!). How on earth did I shirk these things before ds came along?!!

OP posts:
WineAndChocolateyummy · 02/04/2015 13:08

this has brought a tear to my eye. Sniff.

Family NERF GUN WARS - yay.

Being the most wonderful person in a little persons life
Cuddles
They get too many Easter eggs, so Mummy has to help them eat them. Can you tell I am looking forward to the weekend Grin

HagOtheNorth · 02/04/2015 13:10

Got big, big children now. Smile
Still get snuggly hugs, even though I'm shorter than both of them and fit under their arms.
Getting a Christmas stocking from Father Christmas, carefully made up by both of them.
Having someone to share my LOTR/Hobbit/Dragon obsession with, who will recognise references and top them.
Watching either of them ding something way better than I can and thinking 'Wow!'
Seeing all that energy and passion and commitment and remembering when I felt like that about things.

Bad Things. Their shoes take up way too much space, and sharing a sofa involves a lot of negotiating space. Grin

gincamelbak · 02/04/2015 13:17

Santa - seeing DD's wee face last year when she put out mince pie, carrot and beer for the first time made my heart swell up.
books and toys to play with.
Soft play - especially having to "rescue" DD when she is "stuck".
Baking weekly.
People telling me how fantastic I look 8 wks post birth which is a massive ego boost even though I know it's only because I'm not covered in vomit amd am no longer the size of an elephant like i was 9 months pregnant.

I've also discovered patience - I wasn't a very patient person before but have had to be since DD started dawdling.

Charlotte3333 · 02/04/2015 13:19

Lego, films, shopping for teeny tiny clothes, the hilarity that comes with teaching them to speak (DS2 is 4 and speaks perfectly apart from saying 'rulf' instead of 'wolf', it's ridiculous but it cracks me up every time he says it).

Watching them grow up and achieve stuff; DS1 is 9 and has ASD so has to work incredibly hard to do stuff that some other kids find easy. Rather than quit he works his socks off and it kills me with pride, watching him do well, watching him get that glow when he knows he's achieved something.

And the unquestionable love they give; DS2 doesn't care if I'm sad, happy, clean, dirty, rich or poor. He'll throw his arms about my neck, kiss my cheek and shout "hello there, my pretty" every time I collect him from nursery. Reading at bedtime with DS1, who even though he's 9 will still have a bedtime story.

Holidays; spending entire days on one beach doing not very much, digging holes for them to sit in, cricket on the campsite in the evening, milkshakes on the front at Mumbles.

I love my life when I look at this thread. Love it. It's entirely different to my pre-child life. And endlessly better.

Strokethefurrywall · 02/04/2015 13:25

People are super keen to help you when you fly transatlantic by yourself with a baby, even if you've done it countless times before!
Everyone goes out of their way to help - love it!

starfishmummy · 02/04/2015 13:29

We really cant get a baby sitter :-(

minipie · 02/04/2015 13:37

Being the fount of all knowledge (DD is 2 so doesn't know if I get something wrong)

Shaun the Sheep

Farms and zoos

Buying cute clothes without having to worry about whether they suit me, fit me, wishing I was a bit thinner, etc.

bluelamp · 02/04/2015 13:41

I now get decorated birthday cakes (DH may have something to do with this), this year it had a garden theme but DD1 wrote 'I love science!' in the corner because I do!

Lego, BRIO, re-reading the classic kids books.

StrawberryTallCake · 02/04/2015 13:47

Napping when they nap (until they drop all naps)
Going ice skating 'for them'
Eating the leftover cake mix again
Buying all the dolls I wanted when I was little

All very selfish reasons - this thread did say unexpected perks!

QuietTiger · 02/04/2015 13:49

Lego.

The "Sorry I don't have a babysitter" thing.

The "Sorry I'm late, I had to change a last minute nappy-children, eh?" (DD is 14 weeks, I suspect it will have grown old as an excuse by the time she is at nursery Grin )

Museums (can't wait to do the big London ones with DD)

Father Christmas - again can't wait until she's old enough to believe it. Grin

Watching how besotted DH is with his "darling DD". (He'll never be able to say no to her!)

Hoppinggreen · 02/04/2015 14:07

Play dough
Christmas ( although I think I've only got 1 more year there)
Seeing things through a child's eyes - snails ARE really interesting!!

Cantbelievethisishappening · 02/04/2015 14:10

Having that gorgeous little warm squidgy body curled up next to me in bed and stroking her little face as she sleeps (god I miss that..... now a teenager)

mewkins · 02/04/2015 14:47

Meeting loads of lovely people. I cannot go out without bumping into another pareant who I know through something or other.

Kids films, pantos and days out.

BackforGood · 02/04/2015 16:41

(Mine are now teens)

Having my own advisors 'in house' when I need someone to explain the latest technology to me

Someone to pour me a glass of wine when dh is out

a tall person on hand to reach things down for me

But I do miss going to animal places such as petting farms now I don't have any small people to take.

christinarossetti · 02/04/2015 16:44

Children's books.

Not sweating the small stuff so much.

LynetteScavo · 02/04/2015 16:48

Being able to pretend the DC have wrapped a gift ...I'm embarrassingly bad at gift wrapping.

alteredbeast · 02/04/2015 16:50

Loads

Fierce and overwhelming love.

Cuddles.

Gaining knowledge about unexpected topics. I'm an expert on castles and medieval warfare.

Baby wipes.

Party food.

When I do get a night out, I feel I've earned it and I appreciate time to myself so much more.

Meeting people/friendships.

lastlines · 02/04/2015 17:00

Agree with all the people who say the excuse to play - making sandcastles, jumping on a massive trampoline, kicking up leaves, hanging stockings at Christmas - all that stuff that I'd not outgrown until DC came along.

But best of all the love. Never felt a love like it and also love being needed and useful. No one else can ever be their mum. Everything else I've ever done in life someone else could have done better. But not this.

Notmymuse · 02/04/2015 17:07

Most of the perks are over now that ds is older (nearly 6) but I enjoyed most of these when he was younger.
I would say being able to visit family orientated places like the safari park where I always felt a bit out of place before ds. Now he's older he doesn't want to go places so much with mum. Sad

Ataraxy · 02/04/2015 17:10

Rediscovering the bouncy castle and slides at soft play. (Although I did nearly get stuck once trying to get through a mangle obstacle designed to keep parents off the slides!)

Sledging. Don't mind if I'm on the sledge or watching the DCs. It's hilarious.

Got into martial arts via my DCs.

Panzee · 02/04/2015 17:11

Being able to load hundreds of shopping bags on the pram. I really miss that on a toddler-free shopping trip. :o

malloo · 02/04/2015 17:25

Laughing a lot
Mini Babybel cheeses
Going home from the pub at 9.30 because I feel like it and no one giving me a hard time
Getting a better perspective on life - have so much less time so don't let other people waste it out of politeness

littlehouseinthebigwoods · 02/04/2015 19:14

dementedma Sad are you having a tough time?

dementedma · 02/04/2015 19:29

Thanks little I'm fine. Just sometimes wonder if I lack the maternal gene. I find it all bloody hard , better now the two eldest are grown up but I look back over the last 20 years and wonder if I have achieved anything!

ginmakesitallok · 02/04/2015 19:32

P&C spaces. Being able to board planes early.