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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would move?

64 replies

Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 20:48

I own a property about 30 minutes drive - in the same county but north of it - from my home.

My current home is a farmhouse with a lot of land and I am tentatively thinking of letting it out. This would bring in a substantial amount of money: useful as I am a single parent now.

What I'm worried about moving wise are the following:

Smaller house. It has 3 bedrooms which is obviously more than adequate but my younger two would have to share and DS would have a box room.

Obviously move of schools.

Further from town and events (am very isolated now, moving would make this worse. I'd be twenty minutes at least from the nearest large-ish town.)

Would have to find stables for my horses although shouldn't be too hard but an added expense.

However children would be nearer their dad as he plans to move a good two hours away from where we are now. And maybe a fresh start would be good?

Any thoughts? I am very undecided and the letting agent is coming tomorrow.

OP posts:
ThankFuckSpringIsHere · 01/04/2015 20:54

I'd stay where you are. You'd need to move schools, smaller house, more expense of livery (and the hassle of finding decent a yard), and you'd be more isolated.

It sounds like your moving because the other parent is moving? I'd want to keep my children settled and where I was settled. A fresh start may sound like like the grass is greener but that isn't always the case. Have you been thinking about this move for long OP?

lunar1 · 01/04/2015 20:56

Stay where you are, the stability of school and home will help them. If he's moving so far away it's his problem to do the traveling.

Original poster
Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 20:57

Not really - in all honesty it's little to do with where DH, or STBXH I should say I suppose - goes.

It's more the money: it seems to make sense to let this house out and live in the other one as obviously that gives the most disposable income. I'm trying to think of other advantages but I didn't know if I was being too hasty :)

OP posts:
Moreisnnogedag · 01/04/2015 20:59

Hmm I'd actually say no. I think especially if you've just become a single mom, stability is key for your dc. Plus don't remove your support network or the things that keep you sane.

Bugger him if he's decided to move. This is said however on the basis that staying put isn't going to put you in any major financial hardship.

Original poster
Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 21:00

I don't really have a support network at all, you see. Also I only have one school age child and he isn't currently attending though this isn't to do with the school per se.

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 01/04/2015 21:01

I didn't know if I was being too hasty

If you don't know, you probably are.

Take your time and wait until your gut feeling is clear.

FaFoutis · 01/04/2015 21:02

I wouldn't move. Stability is the main thing for the DC.

Can you make extra money out of your farm in a different way?

RandomMess · 01/04/2015 21:05

I wouldn't rush to move.

Another thought would be to rent them both out and rent somewhere that you would like to live perhaps?

chickenfuckingpox · 01/04/2015 21:08

would it bring actual extra money or would it all be taken up by rent/mortgage/livery etc?

Original poster
Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 21:10

It would definitely bring extra money, as the property I'm in now is large with land attached and rbe property we'd be moving to is a lot smaller. It's nice - a 3 bed terrace with a garden in a nice town - but still nothing compared to this.

OP posts:
ragged · 01/04/2015 21:15

How many horses and how much would livery cost for them? Can't believe that you'd save money by putting the horses into livery.

Original poster
Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 21:15

Three ponies. They wouldn't have livery per se - I would probably rent a field x

OP posts:
RaspberryRuffle · 01/04/2015 21:19

Can you not let out the smaller house for now? Have a look at what rental prices are in that area for similar size/location.
Moving can be expensive in itself depending on how much you would be bringing with you.
If you're undecided could you spend a week or so or a few weekends in the other house and see what it would be like to live there.
Good luck whatever you decide.

justmyview · 01/04/2015 21:21

If the separation is recent, I'd stay put for now & try not to make hasty decisions

mommy2ash · 01/04/2015 21:21

why cant you stay where you are and let out the smaller property?

Original poster
Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 21:24

I do mommy but the smaller property is let out for £400 a month and this one would go for around £2000 so a big difference!

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 01/04/2015 21:26

could you make a deal to leave the ponies where they are if you did decide to rent out the bigger house?

Original poster
Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 21:27

I don't think so because I wouldn't be able to go over there twice a day to see them as I have a toddler and will have a young baby then too (am pregnant now).

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 01/04/2015 21:27

How much of a consideration is housework? The smaller house and garden will probably be significantly easier to maintain, which may make life much easier for you.

Charley50 · 01/04/2015 21:28

I would definitely have moved for you.

Charley50 · 01/04/2015 21:29

Sorry wrong thread thought it was the coach one!!

Original poster
Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 21:30

Saucy - yes, that is another consideration. Housework is a pain but I can live with that; it's more the gardens that are a headache.

OP posts:
corgiology · 01/04/2015 22:29

What about renting both out and finding somewhere suitable to rent for your needs?

Original poster
Underthedeepblueocean · 01/04/2015 22:34

I don't think that would really help - I mean plus the instability of renting. In total I have 3 properties so renting myself seems a bit silly.

OP posts:
poocatcherchampion · 01/04/2015 22:37

I think it would be a benefit to you to be in a town where you could get someone to help you if required. Being isolated will be hard with a newborn and toddler.