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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU or is everyone else on the coach?

130 replies

DialsMavis · 01/04/2015 18:54

A live one... I've just boarded a coach with DS (12) and DD (4) for a last minute visit to see family. Couldn't get the train as its Â£Â£Â£ if you don't book in advance, we've done the coach before and it's always been OK. The journey is 2hrs15 mins without any delays.

Today we got on at Hammersmith rather than Victoria so every pair of seats was taken up by single passengers. Not a single one would move so I could sit next to DD and most just ignored us as we walked up and down aisle (coach in motion) asking if someone would move. Ds is right at other end and is fine.

OP posts:

jossiesGiants1 · 02/04/2015 14:28

Wish people would stop saying to get there earlier, the OP was being picked up mid-journey, the people were already on the coach.

ilovesooty · 02/04/2015 16:26

No one should take up a seat with their bag - that's appallingly rude - but if I get on at the beginning of a long journey and have a window seat I wouldn't move unless it was to accommodate someone with a disability or unless the driver asked me to on safety grounds. I actually felt more co operative at the beginning of the thread but I haven't been impressed by the suggestions that people encourage their children to create an unpleasant atmosphere to pressurise people into changing seats.

BolshierAyraStark · 02/04/2015 17:47

Absolutely fucking hate the bullshit of bags on seats, gives me the rage. If I get this I always say they need to move them for me to sit, usually as loudly as possible to ensure the offender feels like the twat they are.

OP, I would've moved for you.

lastlines · 02/04/2015 19:22

Such nonsense about needing a window seat because of travel sickness. Take a travel pill. I would always move to let a child and parent sit together on a long journey. How stupid and selfish not to. The child may want to chat or play games or snuggle up. I do it on v short tube journeys too. Very surprised to find so many people on MN defending the selfish immovable lumps who won't budge.

Andrewofgg · 02/04/2015 19:37

I use the coaches a lot, on business and therefore singleton. I get there early and make very certain that I get a window seat; so that if my neighbour is fat built on the large side it's not me stuck with half a seat.

Whether move is up to them so YABU, I'm afraid, although I sympathise.

Would I move to help you? That depends on whether there is somebody standard size occupying a window seat nearby. So probably yes.

Bags of course are another issue - a breezy Would you move your bag please, I need to sit down usually does the trick. Or I'm going to sit here, so would you like me to put that in the rack for you? is polite but also gets the job done.

I remember taking the coach from the suburban stop when there was one seat free, at the back, occupied by a travel cot and a baby of a few weeks old. The mother was not best pleased but obviously accepted the position, and I put the cot in the rack, and we got to talking (admiring the baby breaks the ice!) and to cut a long story short, a few miles after I got on she needed the loo and I ended up holding the baby all the way to journey's end, and I was happy, and the baby was happy, and the mother was happy. Win, win, win!

MythicalKings · 02/04/2015 20:00

Such nonsense about needing a window seat because of travel sickness. Take a travel pill. How stupid and selfish not to.

How rude are you?

There is not a travel pill in existence that can stop me throwing up if I can't look out of a window. But of course you know better than the doctor who advised me that I should sit by a window (or the front seat) and keep looking out.

Or is it you that's stupid? I think I know.

ACSlater · 02/04/2015 20:12

I've been known to book two seats when travelling National Express, they've confirmed that's ok. It means that I always know I have enough space etc. So my bag would be there, not twattish to use a seat I've paid for for that. Particularly when the company have confirmed it is ok.

In that case, I wouldn't move. That's only normally for long journeys though. If I were awake and there was somewhere else reasonable to sit I'd probably move.

If you gave me a sick bag etc I'd 100% not move. And stick earphones/plugs in.

Andrewofgg · 02/04/2015 20:16

Mythical If you get on a coach and all the windows are taken do you expect someone to move?

merrymouse · 02/04/2015 20:23

Can't believe so many people want to sit next to a 4 year old. She must look quiet, non fidgety and as though she has a strong stomach.

Lweji · 02/04/2015 20:24

If you paid for a seat for your bag and you can show the ticket for it, fine. I doubt most people in the coach will have done it.

BackforGood · 02/04/2015 20:26

I think it's a lot of fuss over nothing, tbh. You said you were only one seat away from them, and both in aisle seats, so you are hardly out of touch.
I wouldn't move either. I'm more comfortable / less sick looking out the window so wouldn't choose to be uncomfortable for the journey when it's not really an issue. I've been on planes and coaches with my dc at this distance - it's hardly a problem.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/04/2015 20:26

I would have moved for you.

PeppermintCrayon · 02/04/2015 21:06

I have offered to move in this situation without being asked to. It's a nice thing to do.

MythicalKings · 02/04/2015 21:49

Mythical If you get on a coach and all the windows are taken do you expect someone to move?

I rarely travel by coach but if I do I reserve a seat. When I was teaching I always sat by a window on school trips to avoid vomiting on the DCs, it was only fair.

Andrewofgg · 02/04/2015 21:52

No seat reservations on National Express these days, Mythical - first come first served at the beginning of the journey and the latee joiners, such as OP, get what is left. I guess you won't be travelling NE in future!

MythicalKings · 02/04/2015 21:58

I haven't for years, now I know you can't reserve a seat I'll stick to the train.

SwirlyThingAlert · 02/04/2015 22:08

YANBU, I'd have moved. What kind of person would refuse to move, splitting up parent and small child? Probably one with no kids.
Especially when you factor in the fact that said child would probably yammer on in their earhole about football, or Frozen or yell for mum the entire time.
Why? Why would you willingly put yourself through that in order to make some kind of point or stance?!

cerealqueen · 02/04/2015 22:23

You should have handed person next to DD a carrier bag and said 'do you mind, she is usually sick on coaches, I'm just down here if you need me'

kali110 · 02/04/2015 23:18

Take a pill?
I take enough tablets a day thankyou, why take anymore when i can sit by the window instead?

Imnotbeingyourbestfriendanymor · 03/04/2015 00:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andrewofgg · 03/04/2015 07:32

Good luck Mythical. Some of my journeys have been to places where Lord Beeching left the coach with not competition!

redskirt · 03/04/2015 07:43

I can't believe that adults would essentially force a young child to sit apart from it's parents by not moving.

MythicalKings · 03/04/2015 07:47

Andrew maybe just stick to the car then.

red the alternative is vomiting. Not pleasant for whoever is sitting next to me. I can't believe you think that's a viable alternative.

SomewhereIBelong · 03/04/2015 07:55

I have 2 kids, I usually have had to sit as far apart from one or both as the OP - so when littlest was 2, eldest was 3 or 4 and sat separately (usually in front or across an aisle, sometimes 2 or 3 seats away)

When I had kids I soon realised my precious babies (now 12 and 14) matter to me, no one else in the real world gives a damn.

Andrewofgg · 03/04/2015 07:58

Somewhere I think OP was unlucky not to find one Andrewofgg type - who talks tough online but always does the decent thing in RL!

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