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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU or is everyone else on the coach?

130 replies

DialsMavis · 01/04/2015 18:54

A live one... I've just boarded a coach with DS (12) and DD (4) for a last minute visit to see family. Couldn't get the train as its Â£Â£Â£ if you don't book in advance, we've done the coach before and it's always been OK. The journey is 2hrs15 mins without any delays.

Today we got on at Hammersmith rather than Victoria so every pair of seats was taken up by single passengers. Not a single one would move so I could sit next to DD and most just ignored us as we walked up and down aisle (coach in motion) asking if someone would move. Ds is right at other end and is fine.

OP posts:

TheLastMan · 01/04/2015 20:59

Can't see the issue if the two aisle seats are opposite to each other. But, from what I understood, the two seats aren't aopposite to each other but one down? Am I right there?

Tbh, the same thing happens when travelling on a plane with no reserved seats. Cue for a big rush at the start and people running/elbowing each other to be first. And yes I've also been separated from dc1 when he was just little bit older. What can I say? Some people will always make it how big an issue it is for them forgetting very easily how big an issue it is for the others.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 01/04/2015 21:02

I would move for a 4 y/o. I would move for any couple wanting to sit together.

SinglePringle · 01/04/2015 21:24

I'd sleep - I'd have put my headphones in with a meditation download as soon as the coach set off. I'd be snoring by the time the OP boarded.

ICallConnerie · 01/04/2015 21:27

I travel monthly with a 5 yo and often have this.

I can't believe sme people would rather sit next to a strange child then move.

After about an hour of dc non stop chatting about minecraft you can see the resolve to always move in future plainly across their faces.

If I am ever travelling alone I move. In fact, when travelling with teenage DD I have moved us both to odd seats apart so a mum and child can sit next to each other. DD sleeps through every journey with her head phones in so she doesn't care who she sits next to really!

Theycallmemellowjello · 01/04/2015 21:31

Did you actually approach people individually and ask them to swap? I think you can't complain unless you did this. Expecting people to just notice or sort of saying to everyone doesn't cut it IMO.

Charley50 · 01/04/2015 21:34

They were unreasonable.

snowgirl1 · 01/04/2015 21:36

YANBU. What miserable sods.

FanFuckingTastic · 01/04/2015 21:37

I think it's a bit unreasonable, I've done coaches and had to involve the driver to get into the disabled seating which I pay extra for as a yearly pass, and can show also my blue badge and disabled bus pass.. There is extra space for my legs which I need as muscle spasms mean I need to stretch them regularly and do exercises. Plus they are at the front of the bus, which allows me to get on and find a seat and hopefully not fall over if it sets off, and I cannot balance on a moving vehicle to do exercises and it makes me a fall risk.

As an adult travelling alone, I would rather give up the space than sit next to a young child too. I know sitting in two aisle seats is possible, and would sit such if I were able bodied and my daughter was travelling with me, and no one wanted to move. But I would definitely feel a bit grumpy that I had to, and worry the whole time that she was bothering the person next to her.

MythicalKings · 01/04/2015 21:44

I get travel sick unless I sit by a window, so I wouldn't move, sorry. I'd get there early to make sure I had a window seat.

Pyjamasandwine · 02/04/2015 00:55

I would rather rip my arm off than sit by a strange child.

Mad people.

Kitsandkids · 02/04/2015 01:26

A few years ago now I got on a coach in Victoria coach station that quickly got quite full. The last 2 people on were a woman and her little boy who was about 4. She didn't ask anyone to move but said to the boy 'there's no seats together, you sit next to this lady' and plonked him next to me. I immediately said I would move so she could sit next to him, and went and sat next to the person in the seats behind where I was.

To be honest, I spent most of the journey wishing I'd stayed where I was, as she never spoke to the boy the entire journey (7 hours) except when she was telling him to shut up. I like to think he would've had a nicer journey if he'd been sat next to me!

MisterDobalina · 02/04/2015 04:34

Yanbu. This happened to me once on a flight (no reserved seats, every man for himself). no one would move. I sat 3 yo DD down next to a bloke and handed him a sick bag and told him the warning signs. He decided he'd like to move.

claraschu · 02/04/2015 04:49

People are selfish and horrible.Of course they should move, and not because they don't want to sit next to your child. They should move because it is the obvious decent and considerate thing to do.

OldFarticus · 02/04/2015 05:31

Personally I would have moved but I don't think people who refused were necessarily BU not to. (Bags excepted - that is always twattish).

There are perfectly legitimate reasons not to want to move (eg away from a window) and having a kid does not trump everyone else's needs or preferences. I travel alone for work a lot and when flying economy I used to move for everyone - babies, nervous fucking fliers, teenage couples wanting to hold hands, brothers, aunties, cousins and their bastard dogs. It got to the point where I decided they would only be happy if I folded myself away in one of the hatracks so I didn't take up a precious seat. Now I don't move for almost anyone, but a 4 year old being able to sit with her mum is a no-brainer for me.

I also think people who encourage a kid to eat messy stuff/sing/vomit etc are being twattish. Because starting an arms race of unreasonable behavior is always SUCH a good way to contribute to the sum total of happiness in the world right?

whitecandles · 02/04/2015 06:28

God, people are mean. Only time I didn't move for a mother and child was when I was on a plane and needed a window seat as I was terrified of flying and sitting by the window calmed me down. I explained to the mum and she was totally fine and I think someone else moved.

ProudAS · 02/04/2015 07:25

Other passengers don't sound very considerate to me. It is just possible that all the single seat occupants need to be by window due to travel sickness but extremely unlikely and thinking that bags need a seat more than another person is not on.

I have not read the full thread but had you bought a ticket for your DD? When I used to travel by coach with DM and 4yo DB (over 30 years ago) he travelled for free but was not entitled to a seat.

ShellyF · 02/04/2015 12:48

Hope your journey was ok in the end.

KenAdams · 02/04/2015 13:28

Loving all the people scolding the OP for not booking a seat when it's clear they've never been on a coach in their lives .

kali110 · 02/04/2015 13:46

Iv been on several coaxh trips and half of them you were told your seat number kenadams

I wouldn't of moved. Im not selfish but sitting by the window calms me.
I think encouraging your child to be disruptive to the rest of the coach by being noisy and eating smelly messy foods makes you no better than the other passengers.

HamishBamish · 02/04/2015 13:48

YANBU, it think it's mean not to move. I would have moved for you.

Garnett · 02/04/2015 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tryharder · 02/04/2015 14:05

My idea of heaven is a coach journey where I am sitting at opposite ends of the coach to my DCs. You can read a book OP and Mumsnet in peace.
Bliss.

Make the most of it.

19lottie82 · 02/04/2015 14:13

I don't think people should be expected to move, but move their bags? of course.

DidoTheDodo · 02/04/2015 14:20

I'm another one who gets travel sick on coaches, only improved by having a window seat.

SomewhereIBelong · 02/04/2015 14:27

if a child was sat next to me with "passive aggressive smelly food" on a coach I'd probably start gagging really loudly (in a genuine non-passive aggressive way)

You are surely sat near enough to help/intervene/whatever - it is a coach, they are not going to escape.

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