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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to send ds to extra reading before school

129 replies

Psipsina · 01/04/2015 13:47

We've been 'selected' apparently for ds to attend a special reading club before school three times a week, before school. He will be reading to some older children (he is 7).

The club starts at 8.30. We normally struggle to get to school for the usual time (8.40-45) with a short car journey and a car/clothing/breakfast resistant toddler.

Apart from this ds2 is a brilliant reader and well ahead of the stage he 'ought' to be on (apparently). He can read pretty much anything fluently and understand most of it too.

I'm not boasting but I just feel slightly cross that they are suggesting it is really important he attends special extra reading sessions, which would be difficult for me, and now I feel bad that I'm not 'supporting his needs'. Or that I shall be seen as not supporting them.

If we lived within walking distance it wouldn't be so bad but it is a 40 minute walk each way and trying to get everyone out on time is a nightmare.

AIBU to say no, thank you?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 13:52

Of course you're not and I doubt the school will think you are either. Lots of pupils can't attend due to siblings/childminders etc.

No point in being annoyed though.

There was a time when only the not so able kids were given encouragement. Thankfully the focus is on all abilities at your school.

Original poster
Psipsina · 01/04/2015 13:55

I take your point Worra however it's worded in a very condescending manner: 'we feel your child will benefit from getting extra one to one reading time'

We have issues with this; I asked if I could read with him at weekends instead of four evenings a week and was told that's fine, however the TA keeps writing in large letters things like 'ZERO READS THIS WEEK' all over his book (it was actually half term when she did that) and also she's put him down from stage 15 to stage 12 because apparently there were a couple of words he didn't understand.

She hates me

I feel this is deliberate antagonism

[paranoid]

OP posts:
Charlotte3333 · 01/04/2015 13:56

The school I work at does lots of little groups and clubs before school. For some children it's fine, for some it's an issue; just tell the school that you can't make it and see if they want to rearrange any additional support for another time.

Original poster
Psipsina · 01/04/2015 13:57

The thing is though, he doesn't need extra support. He reads better than my Y7 child (who is dyslexic, I admit)

I wish they would focus on what he does need help with and stop hassling me about his reading, which is actually what it feels like.

I may be wrong though.

OP posts:
lem73 · 01/04/2015 13:58

I would be pleased if my dc's school were willing to make extra effort for my child.

beginnerrunner · 01/04/2015 13:58

Or perhaps he isn't as brilliant at reading as you think? Sorry but if the school are trying to help then would it be so difficult to get up 15 minutes early?

WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 14:00

Whether you feel he needs extra support or not, depends on your expectations.

With the right support, a brilliant reader can become an excellent reader.

It's not just about those who are less able.

Original poster
Psipsina · 01/04/2015 14:00

He is very good at reading, and yes, it would be really difficult to get everyone ready and out fifteen minutes earlier than usual.

OP posts:
Original poster
Psipsina · 01/04/2015 14:01

Is Excellent better than Brilliant? Easter Grin

I get what you mean. Sorry. I think I will just have to say no and live with the guilt.

OP posts:
PaddingtonBlair · 01/04/2015 14:02

In every school I have worked in this type of club has only been offered to children who rarely or never read at home (irrespective of their ability) so, coupled with the messages in the reading record I would recommend reading with your child at home and recording it in the book.

redskybynight · 01/04/2015 14:02

Well if he's a good reader is it aimed at stretching him? I'd have some sympathies if you were trying to get another child to a different school in the opposite direction, but to turn down what sounds like it might be a good opportunity because you don't want to get up 10 minutes earlier is a bit rubbish tbh. and why on earth can't you read with him at all during the week?

arethereanyleftatall · 01/04/2015 14:03

Are you sure he's doing well at reading? I dont know him at all obviously, but it really doesn't sound like he's well ahead.

jeee · 01/04/2015 14:03

Your ds has not been offered a place on this scheme to antagonise you - it'll be a gifted & talented scheme (though it might be under a different name now), and is meant to allow your son to be extended in this area.

The school won't bat an eyelid if you turn it down - unless you then ask what extension activities they'll be offering for your son's reading.

If it suits you, send your son. If it doesn't, just say 'no thanks'.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/04/2015 14:04

Xpost, sorry.

Yangsun · 01/04/2015 14:05

If you feel an issue is being made because if the weekend reading arrangement I would go and speak to the teacher. Jokingly say you know it sounds paranoid but... And say what you've said here. Ask what the purpose of the sessions is and either politely decline them (no more explanation needed other than it doesn't work for you) or decide you are convinced and make it work.

Original poster
Psipsina · 01/04/2015 14:05

I really didn't imagine it was a G&T thing. Why on earth would they want to do that when they won't let him read the stage 15 books? We had a recent consultation and I was told his reading was well beyond expectations. The teacher was letting him choose stage 15 books...the TA told him it wasn't on, and gave him a stage 12, which I queried and the teacher then had to say something about his not understanding a couple of words.

I don't think TA and teacher are on the same page as it were.

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hmc · 01/04/2015 14:06

If your son is happy to read at home - this whole thing is superfluous. I wouldn't worry about it quite frankly

WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 14:07

Just a quick question though.

If he's a really good reader, why does he only read at weekends?

Wouldn't it be just as easy for him to sit and read his book alone sometimes, or to read it to you when you're cooking dinner?

It's not like he's going to need a ton of help, is it?

cece · 01/04/2015 14:08

I have a friend who is always the same amount of late to school every morning. I always wonder why she can't arrive 15 mins earlier at the same time everyday.

TBH the school are offering some free extra small group work for your DC and you are moaning about getting him there. Hmm However, I speak as someone who gets to school before the gates open...

I think you need to discuss with the school why they would like him to attend this group. Perhaps he isn't as good a reader as you think he is. Or maybe they are trying to stretch him. Either way it can only be good for him surely?

Is it just one day a week or are we talking every morning?

Original poster
Psipsina · 01/04/2015 14:08

thanks for all the replies. It was a bit of a pointless thread really. I just felt like I was being given the opportunity to feel bad about something we can't manage, for no good reason (ie he doesn't struggle in this subject to begin with)

I will go and vent my discombobulation on the laundry, and just send back the slip with a 'no, thank you'.

Cheers all.

OP posts:
HagOtheNorth · 01/04/2015 14:10

He's 7, are they pushing him for the level 3 SATS paper I wonder?
Say no if it isn't what you and he want to do.

Original poster
Psipsina · 01/04/2015 14:10

Cece - we are not late, we've just moved schools a few months ago and at our old school we were late probably once a year if that.

We're still adjusting here but having three children is difficult on my own. It's all a big change.

Worra - he often reads to the toddler during the week or by himself, but I don't feel right recording all these as they aren't timed, or 'official' etc.

He often reads me things he sees. But sitting with him and timing it with his school book is a faff when I have other priorities.

OP posts:
Original poster
Psipsina · 01/04/2015 14:11

What's the level 3 sats paper?

OP posts:
HagOtheNorth · 01/04/2015 14:13

Is he in Y2?

WorraLiberty · 01/04/2015 14:14

Noooo OP!

You really should record it.

Reading is reading. I used to record that he'd read to his brother some days and the staff were perfectly happy with that. Sometimes I'd record that he'd read to me while I was feeding the baby...again it's still reading and all the school want to know is how often he's doing it at home.

Add that to your 'official' reading at the weekends and I'm sure they'll be happy.