To expect dp to come home?

[Sugarfreeriot]

Dd (2) has had a stomach bug since Sunday night, although on Monday she seemed absolutely fine and ate all day with no problem (breakfast & lunch) until dinner when she threw up twice. She has been sick all day Tuesday & all night and yesterday too. She was sick twice last night and again this morning and is struggling to hold down water. (She does occasionally though)
Anyway- I have called the doctor who told me to come in, but I cant drive (dp has the car) and its a 45 minute walk- with a toddler who's throwing up.
Dp said this morning to call if I needed to take dd to the doctors and he'd come home and take us, his boss won't let him because "Things are a mess" at work and they need him. I knew this would happen if he went in, the whole team rely on him so much and he's leaving the team to work elsewhere after bloody Thursday anyway so they'll have to get on with it.
I now don't know what to do, my dm is at work (she really can't afford time off) and mil won't allow sick children in fils car as its too nice to be puked in basically.
What do I do?

I have to say, with 3DC, I have only called my DH home ONCE when I was in charge of the children, and that was when my DD went missing (luckily only temporarily) - she was 9, I had my baby and 5 year old with me and didn't know anyone locallly to help me - we'd just moved. I just panicked, rang him and he starting walking to the lift immediately and got a taxi. I think it was worth not bothering him for all those awkward situations that arise (like the OP's situation) as it made him aware I would only ask in desperation. I also think his boss won't take him seriously if he goes - there will be a way round it - walk, taxi or friend (or get him to leave as early as poss and go to the walk in) - if your DD became unresponsive and you were seriously worried about dehydration you could call an ambulance. It doesn't sound like that's the case now but you haven't really said.

put yourself in his Co workers shoes. sorry to have to dump you with these files/call backs/ house calls on top of your own nit my husband/wife won't call a taxi or use a pushchair.

If the child was seriously ill and hospitalised then yes but at this moment in time it's a stomach bug. One of many a child will go through and people can't keep leaving work when someone's already at home

OP - I hope you've walked or called a taxi.

Unfortunately, if you are a SAHM, you're going to have to assume you'll do all the child related stuff during the working day. So once you've got today out of the way, make sure you've got details of taxi companies who have car seats (many do, even though you can take them without a car seat), if your buggy is hard to push with a larger toddler, look for a second hand one that's easy to push (45 minute walk with something with tiny wheels like most umbrella fold strollers would be a lot harder than with something with big wheels).

Also worth thinkig for the future, if you think you might need the car inthe day, can you drive your DH to work and go pick him up? Work on the principle he should only leave work for a dire emergancy, then work round it.

Sorry- just got back! I called the doctor because my dd hadn't held down fluids properly for 2 days and wanted to check I was doing the right thing by keeping her at home. I actually called him for reassurance that she would be fine and told him she still had wet nappies so she surely is and he said "no, we need to see her bring her down in an hour".
For what it's worth I walked, she vomited the whole way there and back and it would have been a lot easier if dp could of taken a lunch break today to give me a lift.
Just saying...

I'm drip feeding now but it's true-
DP asked me to take dd to the doctors. He has been at work AT 6am and coming home at 8pm for a month now whilst all his coworkers stroll in at 9 and leave at 5! He works in the private banking sector and actually told his boss yesterday that he may need to either work from home or take 1 hour out to take me and dd to the doctors- yesterday this was fine with boss.
If dd wasn't throwing up everywhere I'd have not thought twice about walking but it's pissingg it down and she was sick so many times I've lost count.
The doctor made me feel I should bring her down, and when I got there basically checked it was just a virus and told me to keep a close eye and the fact she's no weeing as per usual means dehydration may be kicking in and told me to come back if the same tomorrow. Don't think I wrote anything too ridiculous in my posts or sounded to pathetic but I sure felt it after coming back and reading some of the responses.
Anyway, she's fine and I walked.

And he's not risking his job, he got offered a new one and is leaving his current role tomorrow and his boss practically begged him not to leave because the rest of the team are lazy and leave everything to dp and his boss would be screwed without him. I would of thought his boss could give a bit back but it's a dog eat dog world where he works.

Unfortunately it doesn't matter what the rest of the team are doing and your DH is obviously conscientious.

It sounds like you've had the day from hell but it's nearly over, and that's part of being a parent sometimes - most parents have dealt with inconvenient vomiting and hellish situations with their children. Of course it would be easier to have some help but it is generally best not to expect it from your DH during the working day. As your DC gets older you will probably make more friends in a similar situation where they can help you and vice versa.

FWIW I would try and get a GP closer - it doesn't sound hugely sensible to be without a car and that far from a vital service - how far away is your local school? Playgroups etc? Otherwise you will probably need to budget for a second car (and driving lessons)

Unfortunately it doesn't matter what other people are doing, he is clearly a conscientious employee. Probably best to try and build up some local support networks for those kind of situations in future. Doesn't sound hugely sensible to be that far from amenities if you don't drive in the longer term - can you change your set up at all (closer GP, buy another car, learn to drive?). Taking a child to the GP is a pretty regular and basic task - it may be that they are very ill and not able to walk, and when older too big for a pram. To need someone to help you in those situations isn't really going to be tenable especially if you have more DC in the future.

I remember a day when DD1 was really unwell and unable to walk (she was age 4). I was at home with her and DS1 (age about 3 months) - had to get to GP and even getting the DC in from the car park was horrific as we didn't have a double buggy - DD too old, and I was trying to carry her in one arm, with the car seat containing DS hooked over the other but at 4 and pretty limp it was almost impossible and I thought at that moment I just couldn't manage 2 DC on my own. But of course I did, as you have managed your situation! There are hellish awful moments with DC, and a bit of help would be lovely, but if you are a SAHM it is kind of necessary to just get on with in the large majority of situations. I don't think you sounded pathetic but you asked if you were BU and most people thought you were a bit.

Sorry first post didn't look like it's posted - both say pretty much the same.

So he leaves tomorrow? Maybe he didn't want to get torn away from leaving drinks/lunch?

First of all OP I hope you'r DD is OK It's horrible when they are poorly when they're so little. Of course you can bet she'll be bouncing off the walls tomorrow!

Can you not drive or did you just have no access to a car today?

I don't have a car- I've literally just returned to work so will be investing Asap.
We have to use the surgey we use as we need to use the health visitor there for dds additional needs.
I still think his boss is a dick though.
Dd is getting there slowly- what a rough week it's been.
Thanks everyone.