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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect dp to come home?

62 replies

Sugarfreeriot · 01/04/2015 09:46

Dd (2) has had a stomach bug since Sunday night, although on Monday she seemed absolutely fine and ate all day with no problem (breakfast & lunch) until dinner when she threw up twice. She has been sick all day Tuesday & all night and yesterday too. She was sick twice last night and again this morning and is struggling to hold down water. (She does occasionally though)
Anyway- I have called the doctor who told me to come in, but I cant drive (dp has the car) and its a 45 minute walk- with a toddler who's throwing up.
Dp said this morning to call if I needed to take dd to the doctors and he'd come home and take us, his boss won't let him because "Things are a mess" at work and they need him. I knew this would happen if he went in, the whole team rely on him so much and he's leaving the team to work elsewhere after bloody Thursday anyway so they'll have to get on with it.
I now don't know what to do, my dm is at work (she really can't afford time off) and mil won't allow sick children in fils car as its too nice to be puked in basically.
What do I do?

OP posts:
Discounted · 01/04/2015 10:37

I'd walk as a last resort too, but 1.5 hours of walking with a very sick vomiting child? Surely that's to be avoided if at all possible?

googoodolly · 01/04/2015 11:29

There's an option to avoid the walk, though - a taxi. When there's already a parent at home, it's totally unnecessary to expect the parent at work to leave. There's no need to have two parents there to take a child to the GP unless one parent is disabled and can't do it on their own.

Discounted · 01/04/2015 11:44

I've never met a taxi driver who would be prepared to ae a fare where there was the slightest risk of vomiting. And i don't blame them

Nicknacky · 01/04/2015 11:46

If that was the case then no taxi driver would ever pick up a drunk lol!

Writerwannabe83 · 01/04/2015 11:50

Exactly!

I'm sure Friday and Saturday nights are probably their busiest times Grin

googoodolly · 01/04/2015 11:53

Of course they would! I've been sent home from school vomiting in a taxi before (as a teenager - rural school and my parents gave permission as they couldn't get out of work), and taxis take drunk people home ALL the time.

The general rule is they'll take you, but if you chuck up in the taxi (ie. not outside or in a bowl), you get charged for cleaning.

Ratfinkandbobo · 01/04/2015 11:53

A lot of taxi firms do school contracts and if you ask they will probably send a car with a child seat. Not sure about the vomiting though, as pp have said taxis don't want vomiting kids in their cars.

Ratfinkandbobo · 01/04/2015 11:54

BTW, I think your dp should come home. Yanbu IMO.

OnlyLovers · 01/04/2015 11:58

I think the DP should tell his boss he's going, not ask him if he can.

yellowdaisies · 01/04/2015 12:01

If she's been sick enough to need to go to the doctor's then she won't actually be bringing up very much more. Call a taxi, tell them you're bringing the bowl just in case but think she'll be fine.

I agree that it shouldn't take two adults to take a sick child to the doctor's, even if one of them can't drive

Nicknacky · 01/04/2015 12:01

And I imagine there will be repercussions/disciplinary action if he does that. The child has a minor illness, she isn't seriously ill.

Don't we usually agree on MN that this is the benefit of having one parent at home? To deal with situations like this without impacting the employment of the other parent?

Titsalinabumsquash · 01/04/2015 12:02

Why is your asap asking, he should be telling his boss he's taking an extended lunch break (at the least!) to take his sick daughter to the dr because the Drs requested to see her! Since when does work come first over family?! AngryShock

OnlyLovers · 01/04/2015 12:07

Nick, in this case though it's not very easy for the parent at home to get the child to the doctor.

Nicknacky · 01/04/2015 12:10

But it's not impossible to get to the doctors and he is unable to get away. There is other options.

But losing flavour at work and risking possible disciplinary proceedings aren't the answer. There will be times where he will need to leave but this isn't one of them.

Writerwannabe83 · 01/04/2015 12:10

Her DH offered to come home to take her to the doctors. In fact he said he would.

I get that things can change at work but he shouldn't have said that to the OP unless he knew he could stick to his word.

LIZS · 01/04/2015 12:10

What time is he due home normally? Sickness isn't an emergency unless she has an underlying condition or has become dehydrated.

Sirzy · 01/04/2015 12:10

I love this Idea that people can just walk out of work for something pretty minor!

Do you not have a friend who could give you a lift down?

Nicknacky · 01/04/2015 12:12

writer These things happen though. I imagine he thought it would be fine when he said it.

Writerwannabe83 · 01/04/2015 12:13

Well seeing as the DH had said he would come out of work shows he obviously does has a job that enables him to walk out Confused

The OP didn't ask him to do it, he told her this morning that if it was needed then he would.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/04/2015 12:13

depends on the work though doesn't it.

If your in a shop on your own you can't just shut it and if no one's free to cover or answer the phone your stuck.

There are probably parts of most jobs where it's not possible to just leave.

I'm. Sure most bosses would be a bit Hmm that staff demanded to leave because the wife/husband refused to get a taxi five mins down the road.

agree tat if she's bad enough to be seen then there willl be nothing to bring up anyway.

I'd be trying ice pops and small amounts before infecting a waiting room full of ill vulnerable people. There's always OOH if she requires it layer and the dh is home then.

googoodolly · 01/04/2015 12:13

Booking a taxi is easier than dragging the other parent away from their job. If I rang a taxi now, the middle of the day, I would get one within ten minutes. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, getting a taxi isn't that difficult.

I don't know what jobs you guys do, but if I walked out of work without permission, I would get disciplined at best and fired at worst. There is a parent at home who is perfectly capable of ringing a taxi and taking the child to the GP. She's throwing up, she's not seriously ill and this doesn't take two parents.

Like NickNacky said, the main benefit of having a SAHP is so that things like ilness/holiday/appointments are covered and it means the working parent doesn't have to keep having time off.

Nicknacky · 01/04/2015 12:14

But his boss disagrees lol!

Nicknacky · 01/04/2015 12:15

Sorry my last post was to writer

Writerwannabe83 · 01/04/2015 12:17

I know NickyNack, that's why I said DH shouldn't have told OP he could come home to take their daughter to the GP unless he absolutely knew he could.

googoodolly · 01/04/2015 12:18

Also, you can never know for certain if you'll be able to leave, surely? The DP shouldn't have promised it, but that doesn't mean he should risk his job trying to keep that promise. It doesn't take two people to take a sick child to the GP, promise or no promise.