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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think I should have had more than one response by now?

84 replies

wootle · 31/03/2015 11:37

Parents' evening at my DCs school 3 weeks ago. They have a system where DC book the appts with teachers. The evening is meant to run from 4pm to 7pm.

So my DC being a bit disorganised only booked 3 appointments with teachers - having not had lessons with the others in the week leaving up to Parents Evening due to the way the timetable works. Anyway so we turn up on the night just before the first appt at 1750 and expect to catch the other teachers I wanted to see in between the booked appointments.

Except that they'd all already left, other than one of the teachers we had an appt with. The other 2 teachers (who we did have appts with) were off sick.

I wasn't terribly impressed, as DC is in year 9 and I was keen to speak to their teachers about progress etc. Anyway I got home and emailed the main school email (didn't have email addresses for the teachers themselves, plus wasn't sure if someone might be covering for those off ill etc) politely to say I was disappointed I'd only managed to see one teacher, and would it be possible for those I missed (listed names and subjects) to either drop me an email or give me a call to let me know how DC was doing, any concerns, anything they needed to be doing to prep for yr 10 and start of options etc.

I got an automatic acknowledgment. Then about 3 days later a reply from DCs deputy head of year confirming receipt and advising that the email had been forwarded to all subject teachers. A few more days I got a lovely reply from one teacher, confirming what stage DC was at with her subject, prep they could do now for next year etc. Which was great and really helpful.

However I have had no further reply from any if the other teachers. I sent another email to the main address, copying in deputy HOY, and also rang and left a message with the school office for someone to update me. But nothing.

I appreciate end of term is busy but if one has managed to reply surely the others could have? School have now broken up for the next fortnight, so I'm not now going to get a reply until mid April, if at all. Not really sure what to do next? And aibu to have expected more replies?

OP posts:

AndWhenYouGetThere · 31/03/2015 11:47

To be honest, I think you are a bit unreasonable here. The final week of half term can be a busy one, and finding time on top of their day job, to prep and reply to your email, or call for a chat. It's why they offer parent's evening appointments.

The school, and the teachers, set aside their evening exactly for this kind of conversation. Your DC is Year 9, and should be responsible enough to make appropriate appointments. I think your frustration should be directed at them, not the teachers.

Lifesalemon · 31/03/2015 11:50

Teachers still access emails and work from home in the holidays. Sometimes with end of term being so busy its the only chance they get so you won't necessarily have to wait that long for a reply. The one teacher that did reply maybe wasn't so busy with end of term stuff. Our teachers do after school stuff mostly voluntary so some run sports clubs, computer clubs, discos etc and some dont meaning some teachers are busier then others.

MythicalKings · 31/03/2015 11:56

YABU. Your DC should have made appointments.

threegoingonthirty · 31/03/2015 12:00

You didn't bother to make appointments, turned up on spec and were surprised that (presumably as they had no appointments booked) they had gone home? And then want them to see you on your own in the rush and hassle of the end of term?

I was keen to speak to their teachers about progress etc.

But not keen enough to make appointments at parents evening. I'm so glad I'm not a teacher if this is the sort of thing they have to put up with.

londonrach · 31/03/2015 12:01

Yabu re turning up without appts.

seriouslypeedoff · 31/03/2015 12:01

I don't get why you were unimpressed people had gone him or were off sick. It was appointment based. Why would they wait if they didn't have any appointments? Or if they are sick why would they come in, they are sick?

Personally I would leave it for now. End of term and all that and wait till the new term, give it a week and if no response. Call or go in.

Original poster

wootle · 31/03/2015 12:02

I accept teachers set aside their evenings. However the evening was scheduled to run until 7pm, by when we arrived at 5.45 all but one of DCs teachers had left.

And two of those we DID have appts with were off sick.

The school broke up on Friday, this evening was 2 weeks before end of term so not in the final week.

OP posts:

fairylightsbackintheloft · 31/03/2015 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoJo · 31/03/2015 12:05

Are you expecting replies from the teachers that you did not book appointments with? If so, you are asking a lot as they have already offered scheduled time to discuss your children which you/they chose not to take up. I agree that the teacher who was off sick should contact you, but if they were off sick in the run-up to the holidays then they are probably still catching up so might get back to you over or after the holidays.

threegoingonthirty · 31/03/2015 12:07

when we arrived at 5.45 all but one of DCs teachers had left.

If you were a teacher at parents evening and your last appointment was at 5.30, would you hang around until 7 on the off chance that someone might turn up? seriously?

Yournotfeckingserious · 31/03/2015 12:07

I make the appointments online myself. It's my duty as a caring and responsible parent to make an effort to see my dcs teachers for their progress reports. I of course know how valuable the teachers time is and I respect that. YABU.

DoJo · 31/03/2015 12:08

I accept teachers set aside their evenings. However the evening was scheduled to run until 7pm, by when we arrived at 5.45 all but one of DCs teachers had left.

But if nobody had booked appointments with them why wouldn't they leave? Given that you say you arrived at 5.45, you didn't leave much time to talk to anyone other than the three you were expecting to see, and they had no way of knowing that you were going to turn up and want to see them...

ladymariner · 31/03/2015 12:08

I was keen to speak to their teachers about progress etc.

But not keen enough to make appointments at parents evening. I'm so glad I'm not a teacher if this is the sort of thing they have to put up with.

This, with bells on!!

Original poster

wootle · 31/03/2015 12:08

I cant make the appts. As I said clearly in my op, the system is for DC to make appts. Obviously DC should have done it but what, I don't get any update on my child's progress because they didn't or some teachers were off?

I'm at work so am not really able to pop in on spec, nor am I expecting teachers to see me if I just call by...hence giving my phone no and email so they had means of contacting me.

I will rey calling and emailing again after the holidays.

OP posts:

Original poster

wootle · 31/03/2015 12:11

There's no online system for appts. I don't have any way to directly contact teachers to book appts. I wish some people would read properly before being so bloody judgey!

OP posts:

CeliaLytton · 31/03/2015 12:13

I particularly like this line but if one has managed to reply surely the others could have?

Surely the same could be said of the students? If one managed to make the necessary appts, surely they all could have?

I would have expected the teachers who were off sick to have sent you some info by email, after all they had prepared for an appt, but your attitude sucks.

Original poster

wootle · 31/03/2015 12:14

I had appts at 1750, 1800 and 1830. Appts are 10 min slots. I finish work at 1730so had already left work an hour early to get there.

Teacher who has replied is one we didn't have an appt with.

OP posts:

BafanaThesober · 31/03/2015 12:20

Well then your issue is with your dc, not the school,
We have the same system at both schools my children attend, my children and I discuss which teachers we need to see, and then they get the appointments.
You are entirely unreasonable to assume that the teachers would hang about in case you wanted to see them, or would have capacity to see you.
At yr 9, there is no excuse for being too disorganised to do this, and if he was having problems, you should have discussed how to organise, or phoned the school to find out how other pupils were arranging appointments.

In my case, the children tended to spend one break going round the teachers that they hadn't seen after a few days to make any additional appointments. Doing this is another necessary life skill.

seriouslypeedoff · 31/03/2015 12:22

However the evening was scheduled to run until 7pm, by when we arrived at 5.45 all but one of DCs teachers had left.

Yes because no one had made an appointment with them. Why would they stay. What would be the point in appointments if they just hung around anyway.

threegoingonthirty · 31/03/2015 12:23

the system is for DC to make appts

and for the parents to know whether their children are responsible enough to be trusted to do this, and if not to hassle them until they do it, or contact the school in advance to do it yourself.

Lifesalemon · 31/03/2015 12:24

Whatever anyone says I don't think by your replies that you are going to admit YABU. If the teachers don't reply to you then they are not to blame, your DC most definately is.

Caboodle · 31/03/2015 12:27

As a teacher would be mightily annoyed with you and your DC that you didn't manage to make appointments. I take it that you have had a conversation with your DC about this? Also, did you not check school calendar / newsletter / website? Every school I know has these dates published well in advance. I would expect any yr 9 students to make appointments and also their parents to check.
I do not sit around after my last appointment just in case a parent turns up.
In this situation I would email back and ask you to come into school for a meeting if you are concerned - but this would be in one of my PPA slots (IE in the day) or right at the end of the school day. I run extra study classes after school and they would take priority over a parent who didn't make an appointment.
1 teacher had the time to reply...the others are clearly too busy.

FWIW if you had rung school on the day I bet the receptionist would have made the appointments for you.
As for the teachers that were off sick...what would you like them to do?

BifsWif · 31/03/2015 12:29

YABVU. Your child didnt make the appointments, why on earth should the teachers hang around on the off chance someone who hadn't made an appointment would want to speak to them?!

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 31/03/2015 12:34

I think the OP is getting a lot of flack re: the appointments. Where we are, the pupils make them and quite often as they have a fortnightly timetable they don't always come across each teacher to get a slot in time. The staff are very receptive to us parents who see them without appointments (we are always polite and apologetic) The appointments also rarely bear any resemblance to the each evening which is more of a turn up and queue (if you can work out where the queues are).

As to the no response, it may be that there are lots of other parents who are asking for the same as the teachers must have missed the whole evening, so I'd be patient and maybe ask again after the Easter break.

PurpleSwift · 31/03/2015 12:39

At year 9 your child is more than capable of making more appointments but they failed to do so, this frustrated is wrongly directed at the school. It cannot be helped that two teachers were sick and of course the other teachers went home - they had no appointments.
End of term is super busy but they give up an evening so parents have an opportunity to speak to them, your missed that opportunity.

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