to think I should have had more than one response by now?

[wootle]

Parents' evening at my DCs school 3 weeks ago. They have a system where DC book the appts with teachers. The evening is meant to run from 4pm to 7pm.

So my DC being a bit disorganised only booked 3 appointments with teachers - having not had lessons with the others in the week leaving up to Parents Evening due to the way the timetable works. Anyway so we turn up on the night just before the first appt at 1750 and expect to catch the other teachers I wanted to see in between the booked appointments.

Except that they'd all already left, other than one of the teachers we had an appt with. The other 2 teachers (who we did have appts with) were off sick.

I wasn't terribly impressed, as DC is in year 9 and I was keen to speak to their teachers about progress etc. Anyway I got home and emailed the main school email (didn't have email addresses for the teachers themselves, plus wasn't sure if someone might be covering for those off ill etc) politely to say I was disappointed I'd only managed to see one teacher, and would it be possible for those I missed (listed names and subjects) to either drop me an email or give me a call to let me know how DC was doing, any concerns, anything they needed to be doing to prep for yr 10 and start of options etc.

I got an automatic acknowledgment. Then about 3 days later a reply from DCs deputy head of year confirming receipt and advising that the email had been forwarded to all subject teachers. A few more days I got a lovely reply from one teacher, confirming what stage DC was at with her subject, prep they could do now for next year etc. Which was great and really helpful.

However I have had no further reply from any if the other teachers. I sent another email to the main address, copying in deputy HOY, and also rang and left a message with the school office for someone to update me. But nothing.

I appreciate end of term is busy but if one has managed to reply surely the others could have? School have now broken up for the next fortnight, so I'm not now going to get a reply until mid April, if at all. Not really sure what to do next? And aibu to have expected more replies?

wootle, you are not being unreasonable. This is a systems failure. Students making their own appointments for each teacher sounds incredibly clunky, time consuming, and prone to human error. Parents using online booking systems = much easier.

Have you looked on the school website for e-mail addresses for members of staff? Ours has them and teachers are pretty responsive to personal e-mails.

Unfortunately with both situations - parent's evening and follow up e-mails - there are unnecessary layers of communication which is probably why responses are slow/have gone astray etc. (Well that and end of term.)

The schools locked (for security reasons etc) at break, lunch etc. They can get into the cafeteria before school and at lunch but the rest of the school is locked and out of bounds. I suppose they could catch the teachers after school in their classrooms but only if they are teaching last period, and assuming kids know which room those teachers are in (they don't have designated classrooms)

It is all a lot of effort though which an online system would completely circumvent. DC is doing comp science next year, maybe I will suggest writing a programme for one?

I agree Jessica. I like the idea that parents can communicate with teachers easily because good communication is essential in fully supporting the student. But we are finding that too many staff have received rude/abusive emails from parents which means we are now starting to look at what safe guards can be put in place to protect from the unpleasant minority

Yabu. Sorry. But that's what the appointnent system is for. Your son and you needed to arrange this if others managed to. Would you turn up at the gp and expect to just be fitted in? Not unless you're seriously ill is my guess.

For ds1 the reports and parents evenings are all we need. But ds2 has asc and so we need more regular contact with the school, the senco, teachers and pastoral support etc. Email is the easiest way of contact and thankfully most of his teachers seem Ok with this.

I have friends who are high school teachers and am aware how hard they work so I always feel bad about adding to their work load. I tend to run stuff by a teacher friend who reassures me it's fine to email over whatever the issue is. I am always polite and thank them etc. A few times they have apologised for replying late and I always say it's fine and I understand they are very busy etc. I would hate to be an annoying parent! I do however see education as a partnership between school and home so want to work with the school to ensure ds2's needs are being met.

Generally it's fine, I did have one teacher who called me to complain about his lack of eye contact when they spoke to him... At which point I politely asked did they know he has aspergers... Ds2 is actually gifted and talented and academically doing well but struggles hugely socially and with peer interactions and supply teachers and the different expectations from different teachers etc. We are trying to get a statement in place so we all know what needs to be done and if that works smoothly hopefully there will be less need for extra emails!

My GP has online bookings so I can make an appointment myself Which is great because you can never get through on the phone.

Those of you who say I am bu, are you saying I should just forget about getting any update on my DCs progress, and just wait til the next parents evening in a years time?!

I don't know about other schools but in terms of reports all we get at the end of the year is a table showing DCs expected and actual attainment levels. There's no additional written commentary just one sheet of paper with that table on one side, and their attendance/ punctuality stats on the other. Hence I rely rather more on parents evening and any other opportunity to speak with teachers to give me more of an idea how DC is progressing. Without any feedback I'm going to have no idea of problems (if any) with those 4 subjects until next year, or until the problem is so bad a teacher contacts me in advance of the next parents eve.

But its still not the schools fault you didn't get your appointments. Maybe contact the school and explain and ask if you can speak to the teachers on the phone at a convenient time. Its down to you, they've given up their time and your DC messed up. I understand your problem, its the fact that you are still making excuses for your DC and blaming the teachers that is UR

But I've already contacted the school. I did that immediately after parents evening, asked if they could either email me, or call when convenient, whatever was easier for them. From4 teachers though I've had no reply.

Telling my DC off doesn't get me anywhere in terms of knowing how they're doing at school does it? Fwiw I did have words with my DC, but that doesn't solve the problem.

Lifesalemon
its still not the schools fault you didn't get your appointments.

Maybe partly, but the appointment booking system at the OP's dc's school could be improved and the OP said two booked teachers were off sick. 3 weeks elapsing with no response from several teachers is poor. (I don't think any school would be happy if it took e.g. 3 weeks for a parent to explain a child's absence.)

all we get at the end of the year is a table showing DCs expected and actual attainment levels

Sorry, but that's shite. At my school the parents receive three written reports a year. All have an effort grade and any concern codes (eg H for homework). The first and final reports of the year contain a written report about the student (about a sentence in the first one and 5 sentences in the final one). The second and final reports give expected and current levels, alongside predictive data for the end of key stage.

Parents' evening appointments are generated by the school after request forms are completed by the parents.

That being said, I can understand why teachers haven't got back to you. It is a manic time of year with extra revision sesssions, controlled assessment deadlines, parents evenings etc, and a 'can you ring so-and-so' email tends to get put on the 'when I get time' pile (which is very large).

YANBU to expect a response. Term times are busy, but it takes just a few seconds to email back and say you will follow up by x date, or even just give the OP some times they can be contacted to have a phone chat. 'Hi Mrs W, I'm sorry I did not catch up with you at parents evening. I'm very busy with end of term, but I will give you a call during the break to catch up on Little Ws progress. Is there a best time to catch you? Sincerely Mrs C.' Easy.

We've all had 'those' parents (and I don't think the OP is one of 'those' parents btw), that just need a bit more hand holding during their child's education than others. From experience, you're better off giving them at least some of what they need (feedback, reassurance, or just some praise for their precious child (and I say 'precious' in a genuine way, not nasty)). As can be seen by this, not having contact when requested makes the teacher look unprofessional and like they are deliberate avoiding the parent.

I've long said that university teaching programs need a subject called 'Parent Management'.

What I don't understand is, when it became clear that your DS was not going to manage to make appointments due to lack of organisation, why you didn't email the school to request appts with those teachers you wanted to see. It would have been easy for them to reply with 'yes wootle, I have a slot at 6:40pm, see you then'. It must be annoying to have time set aside and then to be chased after the event.

The system is not great but if you were that keen to see the teachers, you could have attempted to email and make an appt rather than emailing to request a report.

OP, it sounds like the school is rubbish at keeping in touch with parents. We do 3 sets of monitoring grades for each class (literally just an effort grade and an attainment grade per subject), one parents evening per year group and one set of full written reports (spread through the year - exam classes are spring term, yr7 - 10 are summer term). We have a stupid appointment system for parents evening, but we don't leave until the parents have left / been seen. Form teachers / heads of year monitor behaviour and homework, and communicate with parents as necessary. I was off sick for one parents evening, and the head of department had my marking spreadsheet, with details of test scores and homework marks if any parents wanted them. I was also expected to respond to any parent queries when I returned.

It's works well because we appreciate that it's so much easier to teach kids when their parents are fully informed and supportive. It also means that we don't really get parents emailing in often - this year I've been contacted twice by email by parents.

YANBU.

If the evening runs from 4-7pm and slots are 10mins, that's 17 appointments per teacher. How the he'll does that work if the majority of parents want to see them? I presume they can't, and they don't get email reports either?

When my DC were at school they used to be told to make appointments, and they did, but the HT used to say if we couldn't make it, or no appts were available we could have emails or phone calls.

Now we've just got DS2 going into the last term of A2s so it's easy to see all teachers.

OP, as I asked before, why didn't you ring the school on the day? They would have made appointments for you.
Also, as I asked before, was the date not on the school calendar/website? Why didn't you chase this up?
Fwiw, if a teacher is off sick they come back to all the work they missed, often including teaching after hours to catch up the missed teaching (it's why they rock up to work and pass on their germs to others, it's easier in the long run than not going in); it is exam season and you will not be top priority. Sorry but that is the way it is.
And I'm always sending letters to and emailing parents...very few respond

I don't think YABU my DS is in year 9 and I had the same trouble with appointments, he is very shy and doesn't like to speak to all the teachers, we had appointments with 2 but had to look for the other teachers! Luckily they were still there and we waited til they were free. The trouble is people think all year 9s are as mature as each other! My DS won't ask for help either so is behind in some subjects the teachers have said if he won't ask for help there is nothing they can do as they have to help the ones who do ask

YABU (completely) whinging about teachers on sick leave. Goodness me, are you expecting they endanger their health?

I don't think that you're being unreasonable either. I hated these systems when DSS was at High school. It's a really stupid system IMO. Firstly the early times are so difficult for parents that work, the later ones are still a rush! If the child has to organise appointments they will often forget. My SS used to forget, and he was a straight A student with nothing to hide, god knows what the kids with things they wanted to hide from parents were like! We had many a parents evening where SS had tried to get appointments with certain teachers and couldn't.

I also think more teachers could have sent a brief reply. Either "nothing to worry about" or "I'm really busy before Easter but will reply properly when I've a moment". It doesn't take a moment. Perhaps the sick teachers are still off sick?

YANBU definitely not. it's shocking behaviour from the school and teachers. Parents evenings are part of directed time. teachers have to be there until the end unless the head has agreed with them otherwise. teachers should be responsible for communicating with you...busy or not. if I were you I'd email the deputy head back thanking that one teacher that bothered but expressing your disappointment at the remaining teachers for their lack of communication

DD was like this in year 7, we dashed around like mad catching missed appointments as early as possible.
Exactly the same in year 8 except this time we were ready, insisted she got all appointments (and in a convenient block to suit us... not that easy for her) She was aware there would be sanctions for not doing so and worked on our suggestion that she should give up 10 minutes of her lunch time to do this.

No problems in years 9, 10 and 11
YABU

Yanbu.
I'm a teacher and my school operates a similar system for booking appointments.

No way would I (or my colleagues) be legging it halfway through parents' evening, even if my appointments were done.

Most of us realise that:
Children are not always that organised and may require some support.
Some children may be trying to avoid us.
Parents work, often until after 5, and it's possible that their child has failed to book an appointment.

With that in mind, we check who is signed in on the night against class lists, not just appointments, and stay until we've seen as many as possible.

Crucially, though, it's kind of a major part of our job, which we are paid for. Most of us want to communicate with parents and find it beneficial.

I think you're right to be concerned about the lack of response from the school. The written reports sound like they tell you next to nothing and parents' evenings don't sound great. I would advise you to contact Head of year again and ask for a meeting with him/her to discuss your child's progress in the subjects you haven't heard from. This would be a perfectly normal request in any school I've worked in, and they should be happy to meet with you. (If not, I'd be speaking to the Head)

It might be worth a passive aggressive email to the head:

We were dreadfully disappointed in DS not getting appointments with all his teachers, and had hoped to be able to catch them in between other appointments. Unfortunately due to work commitments we were unable to attend until 5.50, by which time many of the teachers we hoped to see had left. We are very pleased that XX has taken the time to respond to our email and hope to hear from DSs other teachers soon. Perhaps the school would be willing to consider online appointment booking in the future to avoid these issues occurring? We will, of course, expect DS to be better at making appointments next year if the system remains the same.

We've got a two week timetable, and to add to the misery our children are twins. This year DP couldn't come to Parent's evening due to work commitments so it was just me.

I am a professional. If I make an appointment, I honour it. If, due to unforeseen circumstances, I can't attend, I contact my client as quickly as possible to apologise and rearrange. I expect the same from the professionals who look after my family.

OP, yanbu. The last parent's evening I attended was a shambles. I do appreciate the work my children's teachers are doing, but I do not appreciate being treated so condescendingly. Being told airily 'Oh, sorry, I forgot' when I was the third in a group of four increasingly irate families waiting for an invisible teacher who'd wandered off to get a cup of tea doesn't go down well.

I knew DP wouldn't be free, and so did the girls. They managed to come up with a lovely set of appointments, well spaced out to allow for running late. Despite this, three teachers were so out of kilter that they were not seen. I left messages for all three. Only one has actually replied. Nearly a month ago now.

If I ran my business that way, I'd be bankrupt.

I appreciate that Parent's evenings are tacked on to the end of an already long day. I don't object to staff getting time for a cup of tea. I do object to nobody being arsed to communicate with me though.

No point saying yabu or yanbu OP because you clearly have your own opinion and you're sticking to it!

Fwiw I think having a system that relies on the kids to make appts is just daft. Thinking back to my own teenage years I just simply wouldn't have made appts for teachers I didn't like or was worried about response from.

But I do think the idea of just turning up on spec and hoping to see teachers 'between appts' is daft as well. They likely didn't have any space, and why should someone who had actually booked be kept waiting because you muscled in ahead!

I do think you should've had a response from the teachers you were scheduled to see who were off sick, that's very rude of them not to contact you by now.