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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH can't let it go

28 replies

Blueskybrightstar · 30/03/2015 21:05

DC got a rejection letter from a school today (he'd got into our 1st choice already so we weren't bothered). I texted DH to let him know he had not got in, he texted back great, we can focus on knowing he's definitely going to school choice 1 now. The rejection letter was a standard one liner 'due to many applications we couldn't accept....we can't offer feedback' etc, so I threw it away. DH got upset when he realised Id thrown it away, I said it was only a one line generic letter, I don't understand why you are so bothered but sorry, I genuinely thought you wouldn't care about seeing it...now he is just banging on about it constantly and is still upset about it. I think he's being really petty and a ridiculous waste of our evening as he is now stroppy. AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
CaptainAnkles · 30/03/2015 21:07

Has he said why he's upset about not being able to read a one line rejection letter? You've told him exactly what it said, doesn't he believe you?

EthelDurant123 · 30/03/2015 21:07

I think he just wanted to feel involved.

Smartiepants79 · 30/03/2015 21:08

He's being very silly.
Ignore him and waste no more of your energy on it.
Can he explain why he's behaving like a 4 yr old?

DoJo · 30/03/2015 21:08

Perhaps he just wants to be as much a part of it as you are?

Hillingdon · 30/03/2015 21:09

I guess he wanted to boast that all the schools applied for wanted your child. Clearly they can only go to one school at a time but that isn't the point (in his view!)

Life is just too short tbh but this sort of stuff is important to some people

spanky2 · 30/03/2015 21:11

Can't he get it out of the bin?

Topseyt · 30/03/2015 21:21

I'd ignore him from now on and let him enjoy his strop in peace.

I don't get why he is so bothered either, but it clearly means something to him so let it go.

Leeds2 · 30/03/2015 21:23

Would second the idea that you retrieve the letter from the bin/recycling?

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 30/03/2015 21:26

Either get the letter out of the bin, or just ignore him until it blows over. People get het up sometimes and often no-one else really understands why. I got fairly fucking stroppy with DH for 'streamlining' the spice rack a few months ago. I managed to be a twat about it all night. One of those things.

Just move on, OP.

Original poster
Blueskybrightstar · 30/03/2015 21:53

Thanks guys! Glad i wasnt being U. i went into ignore and avoid mode and disappeared to have a bath...he came in half way through to go on about it more, I sent him out in no uncertain terms, and half an hour later he calmed down and tried to be nice, so I think he felt a bit silly in the end...

OP posts:
Meloria · 30/03/2015 22:08

Was it addressed to both of you? If so YABVU.

In our house nothing in joint names gets binned or filed until both have read it or decided not to, even absolute junk.

Penfold007 · 30/03/2015 22:12

Brilliant news DC got into first choice schools and presumably you have accepted the the place. DH had a right to read the rejection letter and yoy shouldn't have binned it.

NobbyNobs · 30/03/2015 22:26

'In our house nothing in joint names gets binned or filed until both have read it or decided not to, even absolute junk.'

Evenings must be a riot at yours! Grin

YANBU. Unless he feels you are unable to read and convey a message which has no impact on your lives due to your DC being accepted into their first choice or he believes he has some sort of super sense that will allow him to sense the reason for refusal merely by caressing the pages he's been a twat.

Glad he's being nice now though. Be nice back Smile I hate it when I have to be the bigger person.

LineRunner · 30/03/2015 22:30

Can he not reach into your bin, then?

Fairenuff · 30/03/2015 22:48

Yes, why doesn't he just get it out of bin? Confused

AnyFucker · 30/03/2015 22:51

What a strange person he sounds

has he finally stopped haranguing you yet ?

snowglobemouse · 31/03/2015 00:45

In our house nothing in joint names gets binned or filed until both have read it or decided not to, even absolute junk.

...why?

Fairenuff · 31/03/2015 00:51

All our junk mail goes straight into the recycling, regardless of who it is addressed to.

Original poster
Blueskybrightstar · 31/03/2015 17:43

Lol...I threw it in the bin in the street on our way to a play date - else yes, it would've been easy for him to retrieve it! He doesn't usually care about reading stuff (I open his mail for him half the time just to check there isn't an important bill or something that he'd overlook-he's useless at opening mail). Meloria, it was addressed to 'Dear Parent'. I guess if we'd had the house rule you guys do it would've been wrong to chuck it but usually he couldn't care less!

OP posts:
hesterton · 31/03/2015 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seriouslypeedoff · 31/03/2015 18:12

So your son got his first choice, so this letter didn't really matter, as ds is going to the school you wanted him to go to. Your dh is upset about a letter being thrown away, that really didn't mean anything?

eyebags63 · 31/03/2015 20:05

Yes how 'silly' of him wanting to be involved.

eyebags63 · 31/03/2015 20:06

I open his mail for him half the time just to check there isn't an important bill or something that he'd overlook-he's useless at opening mail

Alternatively could be interpreted as
"I open his mail for him half the time so I can keep control of everything".

Original poster
Blueskybrightstar · 31/03/2015 20:16

No eyebag, it means exactly what I wrote - he generally hates opening mail and sees it as boring admin so I am nice enough to do it for him. I have better things to do than want to 'control' him via reading his bills, thanks.

My last statement could also be interpreted as 'I have a life' btw Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Blueskybrightstar · 31/03/2015 20:17

Hesterton and seriouslypeedoff that's what I thought....! I think it may have just been a ridiculous strop because he was tired or something...

OP posts: