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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be terrified?

63 replies

Beth2511 · 30/03/2015 19:31

So at 15 weeks old DD somehow managed to roll off the bed, wasn't expecting it in the slightest as not yet 4 months and she's only done it once since. I think she pushed herself off me and just went. So my first reaction was to call Dr who advised to keep an eye on her.

Since then evil MIL who we have had a massive falling out with has reported me to social services saying it was not an accident, that shes dirty and not looked after.

At the dr today they've told me i've been reported and to expect contact andi'm terrified.

She is thriving and happy and always immaculate. Heartbroken :(

OP posts:

Original poster

Beth2511 · 30/03/2015 21:52

Thank you, you've all cheered me up from feeling like the worst mother in the world.

MIL would have found out through DSD or OH's sister, we don't have any contact with her but due to DSD being 7 and having a close relationship with her we felt it would be too hard on DSD to start stopping her from seeing her.

The Dr made me more worried as he said at 15 weeks its unusal for them to roll.

I'm hoping as health visitor visited yesterday for her 4 month check and wrote about how strong she is and how well she interacts with me that it will just be the obligatory check over!

Our house is clean and I'm constantly being told how happy she is so you've all reassured me a lot.

MIL is truly awful, from the day I met her I wasn't good enough for DSD and now she seems to think I'm an awful mother. Hoping they will come round sooner rather than later so its over and done with. I know my baby is beautiful, happy, healthy and cared for so I know I shouldn't have anything to worry about. It's just those horror stories you hear about that frighten the death out of me :(

OP posts:

Original poster

Beth2511 · 30/03/2015 21:55

The other thing that's started to worry me is that my mum seems to think that now she has been flagged once that any falls/injuries/illnesses will reflag her throughout her childhood. Does anyone have experience of this?

OP posts:

Topseyt · 30/03/2015 21:57

Social services will soon have your MIL down as the twat fruit loop that she is.

I remember my middle daughter when she was just two falling over face first whilst pushing a toy pushchair. She spectacularly grazed much of her face and nose and looked such a sight that I was worried someone might report it, but it didn't happen (thankfully). The next day she fell over backwards and heavily grazed her elbows, so she was scratched and bruised both front and back. Still no problem, though I felt very self conscious about it.

Tell your MIL nothing at all of any note from now on, not even when just making conversation. Clearly she might twist whatever is said and make a drama out of it.

DioneTheDiabolist · 30/03/2015 22:02

Every time I've taken DS to A&E following a fall, I've had a follow up from the HV. It's nothing to worry about and I'm glad they do it.

BooChunky · 30/03/2015 22:02

As others have said, please do not worry about SS. They are not stupid and will be aware of malicious reports.

With regards to babies falling, my DD once rolled off of the changing table (5 drawers up ) onto a concrete floor. I was beside myself, and we rushed her to A&E... She was totally fine!

GreenPetal94 · 30/03/2015 22:06

Social services will be pleased to see you are a great parent

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 30/03/2015 22:07

Honestly don't fret. My DH when he was under one rolled off the bed and got a leg in plaster. Then rolled off the couch and got the other leg in plaster. mil was (rightly so) beside herself and was visited by SS and all was well. Accidents happen (and still do, bloody DH is a right one even now!)

pregnantpause · 30/03/2015 22:33

Dd has had many many many incidents since- falls, black eyes, that time she bit through her lip- no follow ups- if there was a 'list' she's slipped through the net. ( though I no longer sob in hospital claiming it's my fault- I'm more likely to be sat exasperated as I'm almost on first name basis with a and e receptionist)

honeyroar · 30/03/2015 22:41

Your mother in law will dig her own hole and no doubt go down on record as not worth listening to. Leave her be with her spade and let her keep digging. Keep on being a good mother and don't worry.

Original poster

Beth2511 · 30/03/2015 23:05

Thank you think youve all saved me a completely sleepless night.

MIL is being investigated for abuse against me sent feom her work emails (after changing my number) so hoping that will prove she is completely fruity.

OP posts:

BrieAndChilli · 30/03/2015 23:15

When ds1 rolled off the bed age about 4 months I was hysterical and rushed him to minor injuries when dd first fell off something I ramg NHS direct. When ds2 fell off the sofa similar age I picked him u, checks him I ver and carried on with whatever we were doing!!!
Between my 3 we've had 2 split and stiched chins, a bleeding back of head, a stiched cut on forehead, a toddler finger sliced on a tin in the recycling, a teething ring split open and ingested, a friends Ritalin tablet mistaken for a sweet, an egg size bump to head as vomiting after slipping in a sculpture garden (DH slipped and pushe ds2 put the way so he wouldn't land on him as they were walking over stones in a stream thing and pushed him into a stone wall instead!). Despite a sign in minor injuries and a&e stating health visitor will be informed we have never had anyone round.

BrieAndChilli · 30/03/2015 23:17

Oh and ds1 split his flap of skin inside his top lip and that is a sign of abuse as only way do that is a blunt force trauma to the face - he was clumping on the rocking chair, slipped as slammed his face into the wood, I was across the room so couldn't stop him in time.

textfan · 31/03/2015 05:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AcrossthePond55 · 31/03/2015 05:11

Don't worry, everything will be fine. As a PP mentioned, all babies fall off the bed at one time or another. It's the law.

I'm probably sticking my nose where it doesn't belong here. I know you've said that DSD has a good relationship with her grandmother, but I think you should consider whether or not it's a healthy one. If MiL is pumping her for information then you may want to re-think it. She's only 7 now, but eventually MiL will start to work on her to damage your relationship with her. You may want to consider starting to reduce contact. Just a thought.

You also might want to ask OH's sister to keep your business private.

MidniteScribbler · 31/03/2015 05:14

What does the silly bitch think will happen anyway? That she can make a complaint to social services and the swat team will come swooping in and take your child away and hand him over to her? She's an idiot.

I'd be stopping DSD even seeing this woman. She is not a healthy influence on your family.

Lucyloves101 · 31/03/2015 06:02

If SS visited everyone whose baby had rolled off a bed/sofa they would be ruined in a day! They will have minimal interest in you, and much better things to be doing with their time! What an awful thing for your MIL to put you through. Invite them in and have an open chat and they will see what's going on with your MIL in a second!

MsAspreyDiamonds · 31/03/2015 06:41

Could you call 101 & report your mil to the police for harassment if she does it again.
This won't be the last time because she will keep on doing it until she gets a result which is you being done for child neglect iyswim. Be very vigilante, she has raised the game by making up a very serious allegation about you to the authorities so she isn't going to play nice anymore.

FanFuckingTastic · 31/03/2015 06:55

I've had visits after visits to the doctor at A+E, they just want to generally check everything is okay. Never went any further than seeing that the children were well looked after and that it was a genuine accident.

Original poster

Beth2511 · 31/03/2015 16:00

So I rang SS today as I couldn't stand waiting and they essentially told me the report was ridiculous, my GP and health visitor say she is thriving and apparantly the health visitor was so happy she has no concerns they don't even want to visit.

Cried in happiness.

OP posts:

BuzzardBird · 31/03/2015 16:04

So pleased for you Beth. :)

PoppyField · 31/03/2015 16:12

Well done Beth.

Your MIL is absolutely poisonous, whereas you sound lovely!

Smokeyrobinson · 31/03/2015 16:23

Oh Beth so pleased for you. I too have a monstrous MIL so you have my sympathy.

DaphneMoon1 · 31/03/2015 16:32

My daughter (now ten weeks) fell off the bed and onto the hospital floor the night she was born!

I was recovering from a 40-hour labour which had concluded with an emergency c-section that evening. She's my first, and to be honest I had no idea what I was doing. I was beyond exhausted and really feeling dreadful, and my poor baby didn't sleep a wink that first night (really struggled to clear her mucus). So after hours of nursing her on my own (I was so tired, I didn't even realise you could call for help - I barely even knew where I was!), I held her close to me in the bed and accidentally dozed off. I guess after I fell asleep I let her go and she tumbled onto the floor. I woke up the second she left my grip. There was a sickening silence and then she started bawling.

It was easily the worst moment of my life to date, but the midwives took her down to paediatrics to be checked over and she was totally fine! However, this one incident (I believe) quite severely impacted on my mental health during those first few days. I felt like all the midwives and other medical types I saw during my hospital stay went on and on about it ("oh this is the baby that fell from the bed...") and I felt like they were all judging me as a terrible, unfit parent. One of the paediatricians had a dreadful bedside manner, but I was sure he was curt with me because of what I had done. I thought there was an underlying suspicion that I had done it on purpose. With hindsight, I can see now that I wasn't quite in my right mind...

That hospital stay was so stressful because of that incident though. I couldn't bring myself to even speak about it and was full of anxiety every time a midwife spoke to me in case she mentioned it. I was so, so ashamed.

Anyway that was longer than anticipated and I'm not really sure why I wrote that. First time I have voluntarily "spoken" about this incident since it happened. I think it has made me feel slightly better that so many babies have fallen from beds etc!

Glad you're ok, OP x

Topseyt · 31/03/2015 16:47

Glad you are happier now. Social workers could obviously spot your MIL coming miles off.

In future tell her nothing of any note and have as little contact as possible. If she enquires about why then tell her in the bluntest of terms and leave her to stew.

ThePinkOcelot · 31/03/2015 17:10

Both of my dds rolled off my bed at a similar age as your dd. Try not to worry.

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