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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was she in pain or having orgasms?

61 replies

IsSheBeingSquashed · 30/03/2015 13:42

A friend of my husband's was boasting lavishly about giving his wife seventeen orgasms at a time not remotely jealous about not being able to orgasm seventeen times in a row, oh no I'm not

He's a hefty big bloke with a well manicured executive paunch, and his wife is tiny, really petite. AIBU to think she was probably just in pain and try to get him to shift his weight, or do people really have seventeen orgasms a time?

OP posts:

AnotherGirlsParadise · 30/03/2015 15:16

I smell bullshit too. My DP is really, really good in bed, but if I have more than 2/3 orgasms I start getting sore and sensitive and I don't enjoy it so much. I can't see 17 orgasms as being pleasurable! Sounds like he's trying to big himself up.

ChrisMooseAlbanians · 30/03/2015 15:19

I'm all jealous of you lot and your multiple orgasms. Only one at a time here..

But surely 17 would take hours?

LaurieFairyCake · 30/03/2015 15:23

Bollocks.

I'd think she wanted a really expensive handbag and was making him the big man so he'd just self sattisfiedly chuckle when she spunked a load of money on it.

17 Orgasms my arse.

SurlyCue · 30/03/2015 16:49

Well if he's not boasting and genuinely thinks he gave her 17 orgasms then hes a bit dim and clearly doesnt give her an orgasm very often if he thinks he gave her 17 in one session.

ouryve · 30/03/2015 16:52

Was she counting orgasms or sheep?

NeedABumChange · 30/03/2015 17:00

17 I'm a row would be painful for me. Just too much. He's bullshitting or she's faking.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 30/03/2015 17:03

I know of someone who claims 20 in one sitting is his forte.
He has an 'executive' paunch too but is tbh a bit of a ball bag

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 30/03/2015 17:05

Sounds like bullshit, you should have put "what's the upper limit of multiple orgasms?" as your thread title so we could gauge what's normal (one is normal here, sadly!)

He probably says he's 13" long and his wife wears a 55N bra too.

Stratter5 · 30/03/2015 17:13

I call bullshit, that or 17 very unsuccessful attempts to get him to hurry the fuck up.

Ratfinkandbobo · 30/03/2015 17:14

Stratter

MissBattleaxe · 30/03/2015 17:22

If my DH said such indiscreet things to anyone about our sex life I would be absolutely furious.

He could only be saying it to impress other people which makes him inadequate and pathetic as well as an arsehole.

CaptainHolt · 30/03/2015 17:26

Who the fuck counts? That's seriously weird. I'm not even aware of the existence of numbers when I come, and 17? You'd need one of those charts where every fifth one makes a gate.

SpringtimeForShatner · 30/03/2015 17:29

It's like a Take a Break story. There'd be a photo of a chuffed-looking fat bloke in a West Brom shirt and a tiny worried woman in a zip-up cardie and cropped tracksuit bottoms.

BishopBrennansArse · 30/03/2015 17:36

Is he sure it wasn't erotic asphyxiation?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 30/03/2015 17:48

Hi Op. Great user nAme btw.
Big long in the tooth for bragging about his sex life isnt he. Call me old fashioned but don't you keep that side of things private.
but I think it's s bit of kidology tbph.
It's very easy for these men to make out they're giving their women a million orgasms per session but you're not I the bedroom with them.
Chances are he's having ishoos making her orgasm

Charlotte3333 · 30/03/2015 17:51

I think the absolute most ever has been 3. And I was a bit fed up when he went "shall we keep going?". I was ready to put on my pyjamas and watch another episode of House of Cards.

Men who feel the need to spout this stuff to others are always trying to make up for something lacking. Always.

DianeLockhart · 30/03/2015 17:54

Sounds like total nonsense. I think the husband is a deluded or a fantasist.

tartyflette · 30/03/2015 18:10

Bullshit artist too. And a tacky One at that. .

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 30/03/2015 18:20

Did he mean 17 moans? You know, like 'ungh, uh, uh' as you're kind of chasing it but it hasn't quite happened yet? Maybe he thinks each one is a distinct orgasm?

emwithme · 30/03/2015 18:41

If you can count that many orgasms, you're not having that many orgasms.

Yeah, one, you can count. Two...sure. After five you stop counting and think "will you just bloody hurry up so I can stop this and get some kip" it's a real pain sometimes

I have had a post-coital conversation with DH about numbers of orgasms, and how you quantify them (do you count each "peak" as one, or is it just one overall with many sub-peaks like an soap omnibus edition has three cliffhangers , or something else). I told him that as long as I reach "one" I'm happy and he can count them however the fuck he likes.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 30/03/2015 21:16

Or she had an amazing 17 second orgasm and he got a bit muddled with his numbers because he's a bit dim to see that as a life achievement

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 30/03/2015 21:19

I think you need to find a way to ask Prim Wife, op. We kinda need to know now.

Moln · 30/03/2015 21:22

17?

is that everytime?

Justmuddlingalong · 30/03/2015 21:25

17 x 'ooooh' does not equate to 17 orgasms. She sounds like she was being polite/bored. He sounds deluded.

soapboxqueen · 30/03/2015 21:41

Aww see I feel sorry for the poor bloke. His wife probably told him that to make him happy. Now he's telling everyone and looking like a total nob in more ways than one.

Feeling sorry probably isn't what I mean though. It's very cringe worthy.

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