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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask midwife today if I could be signed off sick from work?

46 replies

Pregnancysickleave · 30/03/2015 10:42

I'm a regular lurker, occasional poster. NC for this reason.

I am nearly 28 weeks pregnant, leaving work in two weeks.
My work have been utterly horrible during my pregnancy, and I do mean REALLY horrible.

Nasty comments regarding my rights to be pregnant, wanting to get rid of me but legally can't. Have put me in a few dangerous situations. Infectious diseases, child related etc etc etc etc.

Unfortunately due to be nature of my job, I don't wish to disclose this as could out me, means that no HR department or real support at all has left me suffering since I announced my pregnancy at 13 weeks.

I'll get back to the purpose of my post today, I am in pain with my back, hips, legs. I have been under real stress with work and I'm so anxious about going to work every single day. I don't think my husband or family can really relate to or understand the awful nature of the atmosphere at work.

Wibu to see if the midwife feels it's a good idea to be signed off sick till my maternity leave starts in two weeks or am I being a big big baby and just need to get on with it?

I just feel completely depleted. I can't take the horrible atmosphere anymore, as well as lifting, and lots of walking when I'm pain with hips.

I would love to hear people's opinions, I think I just feel like a big skiver if I ask Sad thanks all.

OP posts:
DearTeddyRobinson · 30/03/2015 10:48

Do it. I stupidly toughed it out till 37 weeks, exhausted and miserable. This is the only chance you will have to rest and conserve energy before the baby arrives. Unless you desperately need the money I would take the time to recover from the stress and possibly to investigate ACAS or get legal advice about what utter shits your employers are. It's not on to be negative about someone's pregnancy and what's more it's not legal to comment about your 'right' to be pregnant.

DoNotDenyMe · 30/03/2015 10:48

I can relate to the horrible atmosphere whilst at work and being pregnant. My work is pretty shit atm - I'm 16wks today. I'd say to go for it - the stress isn't good for the baby and baby is your priority. And, if you're in physical discomfort - I don't see why not.
The one thing I would be considering though is whether or not you intend to go back? If you are, I'd perhaps consider seeing it through for two more weeks.
Hope you feel better soon Cake

weeblueberry · 30/03/2015 10:49

Definitely speak with him/her but I think it's a gp who needs to do the assessment and actual signing off.

I hope you feel better soon. I had to have time off at about 30 weeks due to a uti and felt serious you guilty about it. But I could barely walk I was in so much pain (and I'm not someone who feels sorry for themselves easily!!).

Original poster
Pregnancysickleave · 30/03/2015 10:50

NEVER EVER going back. Couldn't if I wanted to, they've made me redundant! Envy

We do need the money really, it's bloody tough right now. But not so tough I couldn't go. Just tough enough that we need to tighten our belts.

OP posts:
chaosagain · 30/03/2015 10:50

Not unreasonable. But check your work policies. I'm sure an employer I worked for while pregnant had a policy that if you were signed off for more than a certain number of days with a pregnancy related issue that they could date that as the start of your maternity leave. You may not care, but something to be aware of.

sparkysparkysparky · 30/03/2015 10:50

I don't think it's "signed off" at this late stage. I think itâ??s "maternity leave starts now".

Original poster
Pregnancysickleave · 30/03/2015 10:51

Should also mentjon, a doctor offered to sign me off at 23 weeks when I booked to discuss a UTI and ended up bawling my eyes out. He was keen to sign me off, and said I only needed to call to take up the offer. Would that offer still stand weeks on though?

OP posts:
TheDetective · 30/03/2015 10:57

It's the GP who has to sign you off. You need a GP appt to discuss it.

I've been signed off since 22 weeks with stress (related to marriage breakdown). Mat leave starts as planned next week.

TheDetective · 30/03/2015 10:59

Maternity leave can't be enforced until pregnancy related sickness in the last 4 weeks of pregnancy. So it would be sick leave now, yes.

Doesn't matter if they think otherwise. It's the law.

imjustahead · 30/03/2015 11:02

think i'd go back to that doctor anyway, get him/her to sign you off for officialdom sake.

do you have SPD ? I developed it at 28 weeks. agony, but differs between women.x

BikeRunSki · 30/03/2015 11:05

Ring the GP, ask him/her to sign you off. Pregnancy is miserable enough without work stress adding to it!

Binkybix · 30/03/2015 11:08

Just get signed off OP, unless it has serious ramifications. Why make life harder on yourself?

Original poster
Pregnancysickleave · 30/03/2015 11:09

I believe I have SPD. Have booked a physio appointment but it's not for another 2 weeks! Does the physio have to diagnose SPD or could midwife do this? I assume not.

Thanks everyone, I really feel so unreasonable but they have just been awful. If I could take legal action, I really would. But having spoken to ACAS, even they admit because of my job role and lack of proof it's very unlikely to amount to anything.

I'm seeing the midwife today anyway, will see what she thinks and then if neccessary book an appointment.

OP posts:
superram · 30/03/2015 11:14

I was signed off at 32 the first time and 33 second time. My maternity leave didn't kick in until week 36. Yours might start earlier as you had planned for it to begin earlier but the next two weeks will be sick leave not maternity leave.

sparkysparkysparky · 30/03/2015 11:17

Keep well and keep records where you can. Thanks

Detective is correct : mat leave cannot be enforced at 28 weeks.

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 30/03/2015 11:17

6 years ago i had SPD, i was on crutches from 15 weeks because of it. i ended up being signed off work at 25 weeks because of how dangerous it was for me to be walking around, and i couldn't sit for more than an hour anyway.

i stayed signed off until 35 weeks when my employers officially triggered my mat leave.

Original poster
Pregnancysickleave · 30/03/2015 11:17

The "keep calm and carry on attitude" is so engrained into me! I just feel awful taking time off sick.

But I'm being ridiculous. These people are horrid and care nothing for my health and safety.

OP posts:
Binkybix · 30/03/2015 11:21

Yep - they care nothing for you so why should you sacrifice your health or happiness for them?

Almostfifty · 30/03/2015 11:21

I was signed off with high blood pressure and wanted to keep going, but my GP told me she 'wasn't pissing about with my and my baby's health'.

It's not just you you've got to think of anymore. Get signed off.

Fevertree · 30/03/2015 11:24

why don't you just start your maternity leave early? Sorry if it's a silly question!

Original poster
Pregnancysickleave · 30/03/2015 11:24

Thanks ladies. I think I have a slight guilt complex. I like to please, I struggle saying no and taking sick leave feels like an awful thing to do.

I'm goingto see her today and be honest for once. Whenever I've seen her previously she asks how I'm doing and I just say, great! I was so embarrassed after breaking down to the doctor.

Sorry everyone I'm babbling, but I have few other people to babble to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pregnancysickleave · 30/03/2015 11:26

Can't start maternity leave till 29 weeks as far as I am aware Fevertree.

OP posts:
Shesparkles · 30/03/2015 11:28

I can only agree with everyone else.....even if you have a "keep going" mentality, this is one of the few times in life where you really do have to think of yourself. Work sounds horrendous for you, and given that people have been so horrid to you already, do their opinions really matter? Of course not-be kind to yourself, you deserve it

sparkysparkysparky · 30/03/2015 12:34

Please be frank with midwife. She has a duty to you. In my experience of midwives, they won't try too hard to dig out the truth if you aren't direct.

HoraceCope · 30/03/2015 12:37

one week is self certificate. can you take one off, come back for a week then you know you can go on maternity leave?