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Original poster

To ask if you've driven through a safari park...

138 replies

whothehellknows · 30/03/2015 10:02

Did the monkeys really try to eat your car? I'm driving a hire car until mine is fixed, and I'm not keen to return it with missing wipers etc. Is all that just a myth, or should I not do it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
KissesBreakingWave · 30/03/2015 20:07

Our local Zoo has a monkey enclosure you can walk through.

One of the keepers - two on busy days, I hear - has the job of standing in there with a supersoaker and squirting monkeys who misbehave to discourage them.

Just savour that for a moment.

Imagine being able to say with a straight face that you're a professional monkey-squirter.

Ohwhatsoccuring · 30/03/2015 20:50

Longleat, the little bleeders pulled my back wiper off. Now we will only go through the monkeys in daddy's car as his doesn't have one :)

DustyCropHopper · 30/03/2015 22:14

We went through the monkey enclosure at longleat last year and the monkeys pinched the rear windscreen sprayer. Serves us right really, as we saw the monkey with it in his hand and was laughing that they had taken it of someone's car, then realised at the end it was ours!

kansasmum · 30/03/2015 22:18

Longleat monkeys unscrewed my aerial then chewed it while peeing down my windscreen! They also pulled up the metal by the rails that you attach a roof box rails to! I was part exchanging the car the next day and they didn't notice the missing aerial and I managed to tap the metal back down with a small hammer!

I strongly advise you not to take a hire car through!!

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 30/03/2015 23:45

I thought I had outsmarted the longleat monkeys by gaffa taping down any bits of my car that might be removable by them.

However, they took it as a challenge and enjoyed removing the gaffa tape before desecrating my vehicle.

On a sadder note, re the post on page one about 'all the monkeys having died' I have it on good authority that every year at longleat they cull all the monkeys because they get really inbred, and just get a new batch in to start again Sad

Original poster
whothehellknows · 31/03/2015 07:33

Monkey culling sounds awful! The safari park may be a moot point with the winds as high as they are today. I have visions of watching animals fly by the car like they did in Twister!

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 31/03/2015 07:37

Where would they get a full new troop though? Safari park near us said they had to cull their monkeys because they had a virus I just think they were overrun

jigglywiggly · 31/03/2015 07:39

My DH drove like Lewis Hamilton through the monkey enclosure so no monkeys got us. However there was a car parked up taking lots of photos not realising a monkey was pulling off the rubber trim from the roof of their car and lasooing it round in the air Grin

marriednotdead · 31/03/2015 07:55

I'd forgotten about this!
Many years ago, Longleat in exbf's car. Said many times before we went in 'are you sure?' but he insisted it would be fine. It really wasn't.

Windscreen wiper rubber, water squirter thingy gone in seconds while a row of the little sods munched through the rear spoiler like a corn on the cob.
He was apoplectic with rage, sat in the car ranting that he wanted to wring their necks, which my family (in the car in front) found even more amusing.

Not an experience I'd repeat in a car I was financially responsible for.

MiaowTheCat · 31/03/2015 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbarianMum · 31/03/2015 11:31

Honestly, I doubt it. Usual practise is to use contraceptives to prevent excess breeding. Keepers get very fond of their animals, I bet they were devastated.

IrianofWay · 31/03/2015 11:39

Many times at Longleat. Once when I was little my cousin took me and the monkets removed a wiper blade. I laughed. COusin didn't.

We took the DCs a few years ago - no monkeys came near much to the DCs disappointment.

DS2 was only just potty trained at the time and had to pee is an apple juice bottle. it was only just big enough.....

Mrsjayy · 31/03/2015 11:56

I hope so barbarian just there had been complaints to the local paper about them getting out of their enclosure area and stealing food and then they had a virus . I can't see long leat getting new ones every year though

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/03/2015 12:00

Longleat monkey enclosure is like the parts department, last time I was there they had a big pile of rubber and wheel trims!

Hoppinggreen · 31/03/2015 12:12

A camel sat on my bonnet once. Left a bit of a dent

catsmother · 31/03/2015 12:36

Our local Zoo has a monkey enclosure you can walk through.

One of the keepers - two on busy days, I hear - has the job of standing in there with a supersoaker and squirting monkeys who misbehave to discourage them.

To be fair to the monkeys, I sometimes think this sort of action would be more effective in zoos, safari parks and so on if deployed on misbehaving brats children and their ignorant, selfish parents who don't give a flying proverbial as their little darlings are banging on glass, feeding animals when they shouldn't be (which is nearly always never these days), throwing their rubbish into enclosures, winding animals up by screaming at them and so on. Mind you I've seen parents do it too ......

Years and years ago a Longleat monkey did a big ploppy poo on my dad's windscreen which wouldn't come off just with the wipers so he used the damp, soapy flannel my mum always used to carry around on family outings in a plastic bag in her handbag (as some sort of forerunner to wipes I suppose) to clean it instead. And then my mum insisted it would be okay after a boil wash and refused to throw it away! [vomit] .... us kids never let that flannel near us again.

GunShotResidue · 01/04/2015 18:31

Saw this today an thought of this thread! Unfortunately it's an April Fools so won't help the OP

GoldenBeagle · 02/04/2015 14:17

We went to Woburn yesterday. there was a really irritating driver - kept pushing in, driving on to the grass in front of other people to get a better look, blocking the road then driving too fast etc.

Black Vauxhall Corsa. When we got to the monkey enclosure they had monkeys on the roof and wing mirror - but they had covered their dashboard in bananas Shock. Don't think they fed them any, but they opened the window a bit so the monkeys could smell them.

Only a few cars had monkeys sitting on them - all were black.

We were a bit disappointed that none sat on our car. They didn't seem to be doing any damage, just sitting on wing mirrors looking in, or enjoying a ride on the roof.

GoldenBeagle · 02/04/2015 14:35

Top tips though: put your central locking on / check the child locks are working! There is footage of a monkey opening the rear door where a child is sitting!

Also - top up with petrol. your engine is running for hours - the lion enclosure is not the place to run out!

Peepants78 · 02/04/2015 16:41

We've been through the monkeys at Longleat 3 times.
On the last occasion they removed the trim from both sides of the roof and whipped it about. We had to pull over at the exit whilst it was retrieved. It was all rather exciting!
I wouldn't do it in a hire car.

WendyWilson · 02/04/2015 20:45

The moment we stopped, two monkeys jumped on our car, one each side, unscrewed the indicator covers and threw them away. They were just like trained mechanics.

My husband went to a parts department to buy replacements. He was thinking, "They'll never believe what happened". In fact, when he asked for two indicator covers, the man said, "Oh, been to a safari park, have you!"

SwirlyThingAlert · 02/04/2015 21:10

No idea what the hell the appeal is with safari parks. Saw the On the Buses movie when I was young and the lion coming in the back of the tour bus, These comments are just reaffirming the belief that I should stay the hell away from safari parks!

bumbleymummy · 02/04/2015 22:34

I loved the monkeys! But yeah, they try to trash your car. I wouldn't do it with a hire car :)

whomovedmychocolate · 07/04/2015 13:04

I was drooled on by a fecking Giraffe at Longleat. We had the sunroof on tilt and it decided to drop a big loogy down through it, which slid down the back of my top - you have been warned.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 12/04/2015 10:14

We were at Woburn on Friday.

The very new and shiny car in front of us had pieces of plastic/rubber on the roof picked out of it.

We got off pretty lightly, had 2 on the car and one tried to remove the drivers side mirror by bouncing up and down on it but gave up:

To ask if you've driven through a safari park...