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Original poster

To ask if you've driven through a safari park...

138 replies

whothehellknows · 30/03/2015 10:02

Did the monkeys really try to eat your car? I'm driving a hire car until mine is fixed, and I'm not keen to return it with missing wipers etc. Is all that just a myth, or should I not do it?

OP posts:
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ragged · 30/03/2015 13:31

Roof trim.
wipers, but they were already dodgy & we managed to reassemble.
Car is a hunk of junk so we thoroughly enjoyed their efforts.

BifsWif · 30/03/2015 13:53

There are no monkeys at west Mids Safari park if that's where you're going Smile

Beth2511 · 30/03/2015 14:05

the monkeys are a nightmare. took my washers and seals off!!

TiltedPenguin · 30/03/2015 14:50

At Knowsley last year, we watched monkeys rip the trim, wipers and part of the number plate off a brand new BMW (the plate number had only started the month before). DH swears the driver was sobbing.

We were there for a birthday party so were on the minibus with ropes on it. It was fantastic, but one of the monkeys took a shine to my sister and was pressing his very red erection on the window next to her. We thought it was just hillarious bad luck, but she moved seats across the minbus and he followed her Shock Grin

ragged · 30/03/2015 16:36

Snurk @ randy monkey.

Original poster
whothehellknows · 30/03/2015 16:40

OMG, the lion! I would need an emergency change of trousers!

OP posts:
SquirrelledAway · 30/03/2015 16:46

At least if a lion wees on your car, you won't be troubled by any neighborhood cats for a good while.

KraggleLego · 30/03/2015 16:49

We went to knowlsley and had the biggest fattest Baboon sit on the roof and piss down the windscreen. We still have the arse print in the roof.

SquirrelledAway · 30/03/2015 16:56

And watch out for baboons, they know how to try a door handle ....

Mia1415 · 30/03/2015 16:57

I've been through woburn many times with no issues but the monkeys at longleat wrecked both my windscreen washes! The poor mechanic at the garage thought I was completely nuts when I tried to explain that they were wrecked by evil monkeys! I definitely wouldn't risk it in a hire car

Yournotfeckingserious · 30/03/2015 17:06

Yep and this is what happened.

Yournotfeckingserious · 30/03/2015 17:07

Yep and this is what happened.

To ask if you've driven through a safari park...
To ask if you've driven through a safari park...
To ask if you've driven through a safari park...
ragged · 30/03/2015 17:10

We removed the wipers, come to think of it, but being west country immediately had to stop & replace!

They had a bit of a go on our roof rack, too.

Yournotfeckingserious · 30/03/2015 17:10

They pulled the parking sensors out completely and ripped off the screen washers. The kids thought it was hilarious when I tried to use the washers to stop them as the monkeys just drank the washer fluid and ended up with frothy mouths.

To ask if you've driven through a safari park...
To ask if you've driven through a safari park...
To ask if you've driven through a safari park...
ragged · 30/03/2015 17:12

...but the entertainment value of watching them assault other people's cars cannot be underestimated. Grin

aspergersrus · 30/03/2015 17:14

We avoided any monkey damage by throwing small pieces of banana out of the window, it worked brilliantly. There are signs saying don't feed but I am a rebel and the monkeys loved it!

Yournotfeckingserious · 30/03/2015 17:16

I have to say it was really funny and I was really glad dh drove his car and not mine like he wanted too Grin
The car in front was wrecked and because we stopped due to the monkey on the windshield someone over took us and they did the same to his which just made it even more amusing. Wink

somewheresomehow · 30/03/2015 17:27

no monkeys at the safari park by me , just lions shagging having fun

Unplastered · 30/03/2015 17:49

At longleat a few years back the monkeys bit holes in my spare wheel cover. Wouldn't risk it in a hire car.

momb · 30/03/2015 17:56

The keepers are basically using the public's cars as environmental enrichment: your cars are cheaper than puzzle feeders and swings.
(also I think they have a arrangement with the monkeys that they can swap car bits for treats round the back, and then the keepers can sell them for spares on ebay). this may not be true

LapsedTwentysomething · 30/03/2015 18:21

30+ years ago, a monkey pissed on my dad's bonnet and we broke down. On the same outing, a bloke knocked me off one of those big, bumpy slides halfway down.

pinkr · 30/03/2015 19:21

I was going to post this at the time but forgot. Last week in Blair Drummond I watched in horror as the car in front of me wound down their windows in the lion enclosure to take pictures. Yeah the two the were looking at looked lazy but they'd no idea where the other ones were. I wonder what would win....hungry lion vs the electric windows. There were kids in the car as well

TheCunnyFunt · 30/03/2015 19:44

Pinkr years ago we all went to Woburn and my mum wound down the window to take photos in the tiger enclosure Hmm she didn't open her own window though, oh no. She opened the passenger one, where my dad was sitting.

pinkr · 30/03/2015 19:49

Grin oops