Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Our 1 year old cat goes missing at night for the first time ,dd crying and me dp has to rescue's our cat

27 replies

Mommypoppins · 29/03/2015 21:08

From neighbours garden as she could not get out, aibu to never let cat go out in the evening again because I don't think I could handle us being that upset again.

Neighbours cat was run over as well so the distress from dd was pulling at my heart strings feel so sick although cat won't go out and has just come for a cuddle.

Advice please.

OP posts:
MadamG · 29/03/2015 21:15

I'm keeping mine in at night at the moment. I get anxious if they go missing so i get why it's strssful. Get the cat in well before dusk though. Also Dont feed the cat before it goes out and always feed when it comes home.
How old is your DD?

Salmotrutta · 29/03/2015 21:16

You have two options:-

Don't let the cat out ever again and use litter trays etc.

Or

Let the cat out when you are there and can keep an eye on it (almost impossible in my experience)

That's it in a nutshell unless you take it for walks on a lead which one of my parents' neighbour's used to do

Salmotrutta · 29/03/2015 21:19

My cats often go awol for hours and hours but they always appear next day howling for food. Hmm

Obviously we are terrible cat owners because they visit neighbours and steal their cat's food. Hmm

Then come home and sprawl all over the furniture.

Olbersparadox · 29/03/2015 21:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Mommypoppins · 29/03/2015 21:21

Our dd is 7 years old tbh it was awful she always comes back but she did not for two hours our dd was breaking her heart I broke down and cried in the bathroom I searched the road and looked in every nook and cranny.

Dp heard her crying and found her, he had to climb a few fences but he found her I think he found it pretty stressful with Mum and dd crying and the cat.

OP posts:
Pipbin · 29/03/2015 21:25

We had this problem.
We got a catflap with a curfew setting. It locks at a set time (set by us) and then opens again in the morning. She can always get in, just not out.
She quite quickly learnt when her curfew is and now doesn't even try to go out after dark.

Original poster
Mommypoppins · 29/03/2015 21:25

We have a litter tray, and I normally watch here when she goes in the garden , but I got distracted and she went for a walk , I then called her and she did not come back that's when we got upset, especially when she did not come for food which is unusual as she loves her food.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mommypoppins · 29/03/2015 21:31

Im not working at the moment so she kisses me for breakfast I give her it, then she may go out , when I worked she stayed in but when out before I went to work and when I came home she would go out for a few hours.

She wants to go out at night maybe she has found a boyfriend she is very indecisive, she does not know what she's wants, she only wants me when she wants food.

OP posts:
Pipbin · 29/03/2015 21:40

Has she been 'done'?

Original poster
Mommypoppins · 29/03/2015 21:45

Yes she has been done Pipbin , it feels like I'm a parent with a teenage cat.

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 29/03/2015 21:59

We've kept cats in when we've lived in towns/cities/close to roads etc. Just use a litter tray. You could always let her come out to the garden with you in the summer.

Original poster
Mommypoppins · 29/03/2015 22:11

So not let her out at all Bumbleymummy ? We live near a main road it never has worried me until the neighbours cat died.

I just don't want her to be bored or lonely but she scared me last night I don't want to pick up from the road after being hit from a car I just don't know what to do?

I thought rescuing her from her home was better than where she was now I wander if she would be better off in the country.

OP posts:
NeedABumChange · 29/03/2015 22:17

It's a cat. Let it go out when it wants. Why so much drama over a cat being a cat for 2 hours?
Nighttime is the best time for cats to be out having fun.

honeyroar · 29/03/2015 22:20

Cats are nocturnal. My two often go out all night and come in all day to sleep. More so in summer, they stay overnight when the weather is cold. She should learn to climb fences. Relax, the more you worry the more you'll upset DD.

thecatneuterer · 29/03/2015 22:23

Such bad advice on here. Night time is the most dangerous time for cats to be out and the most common time for road fatalities. And in fact they're not nocturnal - they are most active at dawn/dusk.

A curfew cat flap is a very good idea.

Christophewouldgetit · 29/03/2015 22:24

Your DH climbed fences???

Pipbin · 29/03/2015 22:27

Night time is the most dangerous time for cats to be out and the most common time for road fatalities

Exactly - the roads are quiet and cars come out of nowhere, quickly.

I love our curfew cat flap, I honestly couldn't sleep if my girl was out after dark.

EnlightenedOwl · 29/03/2015 22:27

my cat goes a bit feral in the summer and sleeps out - always on the step in the morning for breakfast though. You can't keep him in. Likes home comforts in winter though.

WorraLiberty · 29/03/2015 22:29

I don't want to sound dismissive of your feelings because I'm an animal lover

But even so, all this because the cat was out for 2 hours?

It all sounds a bit dramatic, especially with your DH climbing fences too.

Welshmaenad · 29/03/2015 22:35

I start pondering when I haven't seen one of ours for a day or so. They always come back eventually.

Also, unless the garden was surrounded by twelve foot high barbed wire fences, it could have got out of it wanted. It's a CAT.

FlabbyMummy · 29/03/2015 22:36

Cat protection now give advice never to let cat out at night, I used to every night close cat flap but my cat is a bit of a home boy so I don't now. He pee's in the garden sometimes and come straight in but mostly doesn't go out at night.

Whilst your cat is new just lock cat flap when it goes dark

bumbleymummy · 29/03/2015 22:38

Mummy - yes, we had them in all the time while we lived in the city. They had been country in/ out cats but they adjusted quite well. Lots of toys and they enjoyed me being around all day. I just didn't want to risk it so close to a main road. I know some people are ok with it but I just can't relax at all.

chickenfuckingpox · 29/03/2015 23:03

i would bring my cat in for school run times (busy road stupid cat) if i went out during the day and at night time it never occurred to me cats couldn't be trained to come in when called (i had previously owned dogs never a cat) it baffled me when my neighbors cat moved in with me it turned out she was only feeding her "if" she showed up and considering she was out all day sometimes its no wonder she moved house!

i also had to rescue their kittens from my other neighbors tree they were there for ages rattling a box of food while they whined because they were stuck (apparently) so i snagged a chair and some chicken and a chair and hauled them out (the cats were whining not the owners btw)

Sceptimum · 30/03/2015 09:26

I live in a country where the norm is to keep cats in at all times. They might have access to a garden or whatever but they wouldn't be allowed out to roam. And they all seem fine with it. So I don't think it's fact that all cats need to go out to roam at night, it's more of a cultural norm. If keeping your cat in is less stressful for you and your cat, do it.

MsJudgementalPants · 30/03/2015 09:51

Sorry but I think you are totally over reacting. Being harsh I also think it was a poor idea to get a cat if you live near a busy road. You would be refused a cat by most rehoming centres on this alone.

This seems similar to having a dog, but never letting it off its lead to play with other dogs. Animals need freedom and exercise, not to be kept locked in all the time.

For what it's worth, I have had 5 cats over the years, every time I moved house the location was based on its cat friendliness.