Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is no point going back to work

46 replies

Myplateiswhite · 29/03/2015 20:14

I have two young children and have recently moved about an hour and a half away from previous address (to be nearer family). Planning on going back to work part time after mat leave. However have done the sums and I will not be earning enough to cover travel and childcare costs (let alone having any money left to contribute to household costs). I enjoy my job but looking at the finances coupled with being such a long distance from my children for a couple of days a week I am not sure it's viable/worth it. Job opportunities where I have moved to are very limited so I have to think carefully about this decision as I am aware in about 2 years childcare costs will be lower so I will start earning again.

OP posts:
HoggleHoggle · 29/03/2015 20:19

I found myself in the same position, and have become a SAHP. Given my long commute and the costs of childcare and travelling, it was def the right decision, but I am terrified of trying to get back into work when the time comes. Why would someone hire me if there is someone else with much more recent experience?

I think if you like your job and don't mind the commute then it's worth considering going back and thinking about the long game, ie like you say, after 2 years it will make financial sense again. A friend has done this and I can totally see why.

Hope you are Smile with whatever decision you come to.

Jackieharris · 29/03/2015 20:23

It's only for 2 years.

Keep working.

Getting back to work after a break is a nightmare.

addictedtosugar · 29/03/2015 20:24

Depends, how easy is it to get back into your line of work after a couple of years break?
I stuck with it (and needed to for my sanity), but with a much shorter commute. A couple of years on, pay rises and decreasing childcare has made it worth while.

LittleBearPad · 29/03/2015 20:24

Are you married to your partner?

How will you feel in five years time when it may be hard to return to work at a similar level.

Childcare cost etc is also your DH responsibility so you shouldn't only think that you won't earn anything?

Discopanda · 29/03/2015 20:25

I found myself in the same position so I work from home now, not great money but saves on travel and childcare.

tigersack · 29/03/2015 20:26

Agree 100%
Stay in touch with work if possible
So so hard to re connect in future

Original poster
Myplateiswhite · 29/03/2015 20:28

Yes married. We do share all the costs I was simply using the example that my wage is swallowed up by the costs attached to working. In fact I will be paying to go to work (how perverse is that?!)
Not easy to get a job in a similar field. I know in the long term it would be wise to keep the job.
My other major concern is being so far away from the little ones. Should an emergency arise or similar I wouldn't be able to get to them quickly (although dh would be closer).
My plan is to give it a go and see how I feel after a couple of months. Just looking for advice from those who may have experienced this.
Thanks all Smile

OP posts:
scratchandsniff · 29/03/2015 20:29

I'm going to be in a similar situation next year after mat leave. I really don't want to be SAHM though and would be very worried about getting back into work in the future. I can't quite face doing all the sums yet, but hoping we'll be able to scrape by. Think it will be worth it in the long run.

I would think about it very carefully before giving up your job.

CapnMurica · 29/03/2015 20:29

Unless you are very high earners don't forget you can claim up to 70% childcare costs from tax credits.

It is worth going back.

HellRunner · 29/03/2015 20:32

I did this for 3 years being worse off but I kept my very flexible reasonably paid job and now kids are in school and it pays again. Plus even though I had no money left over for those years I was still earning pension etc. Take the long view.

frazzled74 · 29/03/2015 20:36

I'm in a similar position but nearing the end as dd is nearly 3 now so childcare costs will reduce soon, all in all I'm glad I kept working, in a year or 2 I will be able to think about going for promotion and increasing my hours. Your other alternative would be to look into retraining, changing career , and use the time now to start working towards this.

Pyjamasandwine · 29/03/2015 20:36

I think most people take the long term view but equally it's easy to forget the present in the worry of the future.

They are only little for a few years and very few people just have the one career these days.

Do what feels right for now and keep aware of the changing job market.

Artandco · 29/03/2015 20:38

I would stay at work. With the view of trying a pay rise/ position rise within 6 months of returning.
You can also ask about working from home partly if possible half the time to save time on travel

meglet · 29/03/2015 20:43

go back. its hard but manageable. If it really is too much then you can always stop.

If you go back now you should be in a better position for more flexible working when your dc's start school. very hard to find a job that even starts to fit around school terms.

BikeRunSki · 29/03/2015 20:43

I've been in exactly the same situation, except eithoyt moving house - but the office moved and my journey to work increased from 30 mins to 60+.

I was in deficit of about £40/month for a year. But then DS went to school and things got a bit better.... Then dd got her 15 hrs funding and things got a bit better again. In 28 months time she'll gobyo school too. Generally speaking, our childcare bill is only ever going to go down, but my salary is only ever going to stay still or go up.

So, 2 years after returning to work, I'm still in a niche job that I love, the overheads of working have reduced a bit and will do further, my pension and NI are paid and I have a long term career ahead of me. I also havn't gone mad with the tedium of being at home with the children all day! (I appreciate that many people cherish bring SAHP, but not me). I work 3 days a week. For me and my family this is just the right work-life-professional-parenting balance. I'm glad we made the effort to get through the "deficit" year. I would never have got back into my niche if I'd left. I suspect my job would have bern filled by an eager internal candidate before i'd said goodbye.

RitaOrange · 29/03/2015 20:45

Take the long term view.
You and your DP should share the costs of CC and commuting.
A PT post - hang on to it !

MyOneandYoni · 29/03/2015 20:47

It depends on many things.
Hard to tell.

But there are lots of us who have been in this situation.

StackladysMorphicResonator · 29/03/2015 20:48

Honestly, keep working - you'll be so glad you did in a few years when you still have an actual career and your kids need you less. Plus for adult conversation and achievement for your own sense of self-worth.

SurlyCue · 29/03/2015 20:50

Does your husband earn more? If not it might be worth him giving up work for a couple of years and you going back. Or both going four days a week? I chose to give up work after my second for the same reasons and i wish i hadnt. Im now retraining 5 years later to try and get back to work.

redexpat · 29/03/2015 21:22

Generally speaking, our childcare bill is only ever going to go down, but my salary is only ever going to stay still or go up. THIS!

It will be worth it in the long run. 2 days a week keeps you employed, skills updated etc, you'll also continue to pay into your pension. You still get to be with the kids 5 days out of 7. That's quite a lot in the grand scheme of things.

Original poster
Myplateiswhite · 29/03/2015 21:25

Head says you are all right, heart is undecided. I think it's being so far away from the little ones which is the crux for me.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 29/03/2015 21:30

What I also forgot to say - my neighbour gave up work for the same reasons when her ds2 was on the way when she was due back to work after her ml with ds1. The boys are now 13 and 15 and pretty indrpendent, and she seems to spend all day dusting and little else.

SurlyCue · 29/03/2015 21:30

Op would it be possible to get a nursery close to either your or DP work? When i had ds1 i had a nursery 3 minutes from my work which was great on those evenings when i was late getting out of work as i knew i had a cushion of time to get there, similarly if he was ill i was minutes away from him.

mooth · 29/03/2015 21:35

Keep in work, it's worth so much, tough as it is. Play the long game.

BathtimeFunkster · 29/03/2015 21:40

YABU to think there is "no point" in preserving your financial independence and long term earning potential.

Clearly there are several "points" in keeping your job.

That's not to say you should keep it - it may well be the right decision to value time with your children and a less frantic pace of life.

But for god's sake make a positive decision for good reasons and drop the "no point" defeatism.

Swipe left for the next trending thread