Was I BU to use the disabled toilet?

[Unplastered]

At a local national trust place today, just me with Dd age 6 and baby in his pram.
The baby change unit in the loos is just in the main area, there's a long row of (tiny) cubicles and a large disabled loo with a sink in.
Dd and I both needed the loo, there was nobody around, so I took both kids in the disabled loo.
As we came out there was a woman approaching the loos on a crutch. She hadn't been waiting - she was just approaching as we exited. She told me, sharply, that I shouldn't have used that loo, the baby changing wasn't in there. I said I knew that, we hadn't needed to use it, just wanted a bigger cubicle so as not to leave the baby outside. She replied it didn't make any difference as none of us was disabled.
Was I BU to use the disabled loo?

Maybe BU but I can understand why parents do this especially if they wish to change the baby in private.

Seeing poo can make me retch so I maybe have a vested interest although if I know that baby changing facilities are in the ladies I'll steel myself before going in.

I don't understand why more places can't have family friendly loos BTW a restaurant near me has a baby changing room with a toilet plus a couple of family cubicles with adult and child sized toilets.

Freeze - if your DD is freaked out by hand dryers then I don't think YWBU although having the DTs with you must make things easier.

A "disabled toilet" is just a toilet; designed in such a way that a wheel-chair user can get access to it.

There is no reason why a fully-abled person shouldn't use it; because that doesn't prevent a disabled person from using it (after a very few minutes!).

Contrast this to a "disabled parking space". A fully-abled person should not normally use this; because that WOULD prevent a disabled person from using it.

Thanks proud. I guess you mean easier to justify. It doesn't make it easier to do a wee!

there shouldn't have to be a fight over whose needs are greater.
No, to anyone with common sense and an ounce of empathy it's obvious that you cannot compare the inconvenience of having a small child with that of having a disability!

at Dawndonna's DD

What I find disturbing is that mothers with young babies place themselves in then same situation as disabled people when their inconvenience is so short term.

What you're dealing with for a couple of years maximum we have to for the rest of our lives. So too right we'll fight you because there are more of you than us and you have the ability to block access to hard won adaptations for a considerable amount of time for the rest of our lives!

Oh and piper you've every right to do that, I have to with DS1 and he's not in a chair. They're still disabled.

Piper YANBU

IMO an 8yo boy should not be in ladies and your DS cannot use the gents if out with you due to additional needs.

DawnsDD

Similar here. While you're all faffing about with your 'right' to use my facilities, i'm pissing myself. Bunch of selfish fuckwits.

There is no reason why a fully-abled person shouldn't use it; because that doesn't prevent a disabled person from using it (after a very few minutes!).

Really? Are you leaving the door open and inviting the disabled person to come in, sit in your lap and pee through you legs then?

There is no reason why a fully-abled person shouldn't use it; because that doesn't prevent a disabled person from using it (after a very few minutes!).

And for a disabled person with nerve damage and/or bowel problems, those "very few minutes" could make the difference between getting to the toilet on time and soiling themselves. UrbaneLandlord, do you seriously contend that is acceptable?

I really don't get why so many people with children in buggies are so helpless or so entitled. I coped with three children in public toilets all over the place without ever resorting to the disabled loo. Yes, it's mildly inconvenient, but it sure as hell doesn't compare with the inconvenience of being disabled. Get over yourselves.

I just cant understand what the issue is.

My DCs have 2.5years between them, so for a fair while I had a toddler and baby in tow. I never once needed to use the disabled toilet. Every scenario could be coped with with a range of:

Using last cubicle in row, and propping door open.
Going to the loo and changing nappies whenever parent and baby facilities were available, and actually planning my outings round such great facilities (John Lewis, M&S, Debenhams).
Taking baby and toddler into cubicle.
When DC1 was a bit older, getting her to wait outside cubicle holding onto pushchair and singing so I could hear her.
Changing baby in buggy.

Etc etc etc. People need to get creative!

I think yabu because end of the day you used a disabled toiket .why not find the baby changing as they have toilets in and you could have push buggy in etc. I've had to use a toilet with door ajar in past as no other option when buggy didn't fit etc, needs must but that doesn't mean to pop into the disable one,personally think rather selfish

There is no reason why a fully-abled person shouldn't use it; because that doesn't prevent a disabled person from using it (after a very few minutes!).
Sorry, did you not read my post, followed by Beyond stating that she's in the same situation?
Dawndonna's dd.

Waves back at Sauvignon

There is no reason why a fully-abled person shouldn't use it; because that doesn't prevent a disabled person from using it (after a very few minutes!).

Urbane I suggest you read Dawndonna's dd's post above ^

Everyone on here talking about equal access and their precious cargoes and expensive prams and not caring about anyone except themselves should read that post and be ashamed.

to Dawndonna's dd. You've so much more integrity than many on here. I'm ashamed of this place at times :(

Urbane - your theory about why it's okay for fully abled people to use disabled toilets but not disabled parking doesn't work.

An able bodied person in a disabled toilet is preventing access to disabled people just as much as an able bodied person in a blue badge parking space is.

If the reasoning is all about how long access is blocked for, then by that logic, it would be perfectly okay to park in a blue badge space provided you're only planning on using it for a few minutes while you grab a pint of milk / post a letter / wait to pick up a friend etc.

X posted there dawndonna's dd

Thank you, everyone. Dawndonna's dd.

I've only ever done this once, because I have severe IBS and couldn't leave the baby outside a cubicle whilst I was there for 5 mins :( also couldn't hold the baby whilst having an episode. I felt really bad about it and would never do it normally or if I'd had someone to leave the baby with.

Why would you feel bad, Bojingles, the toilets are there for people like you who need them!

But IBS is a disabling condition isn't it? Much like colitis etc?

MrsBojingles as you have IBS you are entitled to use the disabled toilet

Oh my goodness. I disappear to cook tea and this happens. I am sorry; I was clearly U.

Have to admit I'd never have thought of IBS as a disability- but yes, it can be pretty disabling. Is it really considered one though?

thewintersmith, no, definitely wasn't me. I don't give people evils. Mainly because, as you say, if there is a hidden disability I don't want to make people feel judged. My dd doesn't always use her wheelchair and I've been subjected to some vile comments/behaviour when parking, perfectly validly, in a BB space or using a disabled loo. My daughter wanted to go to the toilet by herself recently and headed for the ground floor disabled loo and was shouted at by some random woman. The ladies were up about 40 steps which she absolutely couldn't manage. She was really upset - I'd never want to make someone else feel that way.

But when someone admits there was no decent reason to occupy a disabled cubicle or toilet, I will tell them i think they are BU.

I never give people evils, i smile. If theyre in the wrong, i figure they might feel guilty and if they have a hidden disability then i have been nice to them. :)