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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or were my neighbours?

46 replies

januaryblues11 · 29/03/2015 11:25

Sorry I know this has been done to death....

last night, about 10pm, the downstairs neighbours start blasting out jungle rock at a bass volume so loud our ornaments were rattling. I was worried about it waking ds so I went down and asked them to turn it down.

They said they were on their way out so it would be gone soon.

half hour later its worse than ever so I called the councils noise patrol. they came round, and were very nice. They agreed that the noise was beyond what anyone should have to tolerate, and they went down to speak to them.

Next thing I hear is the neighbours shouting at the noise control officers, saying that they have to put up with the noise that ds makes in the day (normal 4yo noise, it's not like I can keep him silent, I don't let him wear shoes in the flat ) and that he had had a particularly bad paddy that day and had given her a headache. So they were basically doing it to pay us back !

they kept demanding to know who had reported them. I feel really stressed and upset today. I can't afford to move. Sad

OP posts:
formerbabe · 29/03/2015 11:28

The sound of children is unavoidable and perfectly normal...I don't think councils do anything about complaints about babies/children making noise.

OnewayoranotherIwill · 29/03/2015 11:37

The noise you 4 year old makes is during the day not in the evening when people are trying to relax or sleep. They are the unreasonable ones.

expatinscotland · 29/03/2015 11:39

They are being dicks.

AmyLeeha · 29/03/2015 11:43

Living in a flat you're going to get noise from neighbours, that's just the way it goes. If they've got kids, then you'll probably have a bit more noise, because unless a child is gravely ill, they're never quiet for any stretch when awake.

If you turn your sound system up to annoy neighbours at night, then you're being unreasonable.

So, you ANBU, they are.

Nanny0gg · 29/03/2015 11:57

How did the council people deal with it in the end?

Firethorn · 29/03/2015 12:02

Occasional loud music at 10pm on a Friday/Saturday night is not unreasonable, though they were unreasonable not to turn it down when you asked.

However I don't think you should dismiss their complaint about your child being noisy. I once lived in a flat below a child and it was really annoying hearing him thump up and down for hours running, jumping, screeching, shouting and bashing toys on floor. Your child may be disturbing them way more than you realise. Have you tried soundproofing flat? Do you let him run and jump indoors? Does he have tantrums directly over their bedroom? I think you need to talk to them about this. You can get rubber/isotonic mats etc to reduce noise both ways.

MrsFlannel · 29/03/2015 12:07

Fire but it's one of the inevitable things about choosing a ground floor flat. Children make noise....they're not capable of constantly keeping it down.

How can OP soundproof flat when she can't afford to move?

OP try to maybe get some thick rugs. I live in an upper flat and we did this and it did help. We also don't allow balls or other noisy toys as the downstairs neighbour would really suffer.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 29/03/2015 12:07

I can imagine it is noisy for them but it's not like your dc is doing it on purpose unlike they are.

They are knobheads

ScotsWhaHae · 29/03/2015 12:10

Sorry I think yabu if you really went down to complain so soon after the noise started then escalated to the council after half an hour.

You don't mention it's a regular thing.

One incident you were told would be short lived way before midnight on a Saturday night? Sorry, it's part of the joys of living on top of each other. I'm surprised that the council reacted at all.

Can you imagine being child free and living under a toddler?

Littlemonstersrule · 29/03/2015 12:13

You wer very quick to complain, you'll have put their backs up now. It was one incident.

All parents think their children are quiet but a four year old is generally very noisy even without shoes. They have out up with it without complaint but that's likely to change now.

TedAndLola · 29/03/2015 12:13

I'm with Firethorn. What they did was very unreasonable, definitely, but I also don't think anyone should shrug their shoulders and say well, kids make noise, so they have to put up with it. Of course your son can't be made to be silent in his own home but like MrsFlannel says, rugs could make a lot of difference. If you can reduce the impact of your noise then everyone wins.

Shame on them for not being honest with you when you went round there... cowards!

Firethorn · 29/03/2015 12:15

Mrs Flannel, children in flats need to be taught appropriate indoor behaviour. It's not inevitable that they disturb people in flat below. There's no need for them to run, jump, shout or scream indoors. Noisy kids who lack manners and discipline can be every bit as annoying as neighbours who play loud music.

Soundproofing is much cheaper than moving. You can get temporary sound-absorbing mats and floor coverings and take them with you when move.

HarrietSchulenberg · 29/03/2015 12:24

I somehow doubt that a 4 year old makes enough noise to "make the ornaments rattle" in the flat below.

The neighbours' response was excessive in that it was far louder than the original noise, and at a much more unreasonable time of day.

Music that loud is not normal household noise.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 29/03/2015 12:25

Your neighbours have basically admitted that they increased the volume out of retaliation and spite against your DS 'noise'

And if he "gave her a headache" that was sooo bad her answer was to whack on some high decible music (or what they class as music). Something that makes my ornaments jump isn't what I call music.

(My NDN have occasional loud parties till 2am, they are teenagers. But I don't have a small child trying to sleep and they're not directly below me)

Your neighbours sound like pillocks

NeedABumChange · 29/03/2015 12:27

Loud music on a Saturday night is as normal as a loud 4yr old. You can't make them live around your child's bedtime.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 29/03/2015 12:35

My previous neighbours were noiser before they had kids. Load music any time of the day, coming home in the early hours screaming and swearing at each other (she had trust issues) loud shagging. All but the loud shagging stopped when there kids came along. It was just general noise kids make. They were quick to complain if anyone else was noisy as if their racket couldn't be heard Hmm

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 29/03/2015 12:36

Loud music not load music.

Binkybix · 29/03/2015 12:41

They sound like idiots.

However, if you don't have carpets I would suggest getting rugs or something as noise of jumping/things hitting the floor really does travel.

Original poster
januaryblues11 · 29/03/2015 14:47

it is fairly regular... at least every other weekend. last night was the first time it had been that loud.

I wouldn't have minded so much if it had been a party or something but it was deliberately done to retaliate for my ds having a tantrum in the day.

I will look into getting a thick rug for the lounge.

OP posts:
whitecandles · 29/03/2015 14:53

I used to live below a couple with twins and next to students who blasted music at the weekend.

It was the constant thumping of children jumping around that bothered me more.

You can do things to prevent it. Rugs, as others have suggested, and keeping kids away from downstairs bedroom at nighttime if it's possible.

Firethorn · 29/03/2015 15:01

Loud music once a fortnight, on a Fri/Sat night for short period of time, sounds very reasonable IMO. In contrast they are probably being irritated by your son's noise on a daily basis.
A normal rug won't help much. Either invest in proper sound-absorbing mats or teach him to walk softly, not run or jump indoors.

Original poster
januaryblues11 · 29/03/2015 15:15

its not "a couple hours" its 10pm till 5am, complete with drunken shouting and door slamming.

OP posts:
ScotsWhaHae · 29/03/2015 15:46

It's getting worse every time you post...

Original poster
januaryblues11 · 29/03/2015 16:08

because I keep having to justify myself !!! Lord... it amazes me how many people think that this is ok ! to blast out music at 11pm when there is child asleep out of spite !

should have known better than to ask in a place like this. leaving this thread now.

OP posts:
FlabbyMummy · 29/03/2015 16:16

The fact that they basically said that it was payback is out of order, really spiteful.

If your ornaments were moving then it must have been really loud and unacceptable for living in a flat with neighbours of any kind.

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