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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The Woman in the Park

56 replies

faitaccompli · 29/03/2015 09:31

This happened yesterday, and I thought I would be less irritated about the unfairness of it, but I am not! So. AIBU? (sorry - this is L O N G!!!)

I took my medium sized dog to the park yesterday. It is a large park, used by families, dog walkers, children playing football, joggers/exercisers, couples wanting a romantic stroll by the river. It has swans, ducks, rowers and boats on the river running through it.

It gets pretty busy, so everyone tries to ensure their dogs are under control.

Yesterday, I was sitting on the bench and watching my dog playing with the other dogs. It is lovely watching them romp around without resorting to violence! She had two balls yesterday - a medium sized bouncy ball (her favourite) and a tennis bal. The bouncy ball IS one that is burstable, but she has a soft mouth, and carries it gently. We have had the ball for a few weeks. The bouncy ball was about 30 feet from me and the tennis ball about 20 feet. Last week, for example, several 4 year old children "borrowed" it to play football as they did not have a ball - and I was perfectly happy with that and my dog was fine as she is not possessive about her toys.

So, getting onto the main story. A woman with a collie type, push chair and young child approached. Her dog immediately ran over to the bouncy ball and she made no effort to tell it to leave the ball alone. It actually looked like a child's ball, was in an area where several children were playing so it was clearly not abandoned. The dog grabbed the ball in its mouth and before I could say anything, punctured the ball which immediately deflated.

I said "oh - he's punctured the ball!" - she said "is it yours" - I replied that it was the ball belonging to my dog. She didn't say sorry - just pulled the ball out of the dog's mouth and left it on the floor! I said nothing. Just wondered how someone could be so oblivious to the niceties of apologising for damaging someone else's property. She wandered off a bit further, then came back. At which point her dog grabbed the tennis ball. I said, something along the lines of - oh no - don't take that as well. At which point she stormed over, telling me that it was a park and to get over myself. I at no point raised my voice, swore - I didn't even stand up from the bench.

I politely pointed out that her dog had already destroyed one of our balls, and had now run off with the remaining ball. She yelled at me that she would get my "precious" ball back. Managed eventually to grab it from the dog and thrust it at me.

The dog then came over to where I was sitting and proceeded to steal some dog treats which had been placed next to me in a bag.

I didn't say a word although I probably looked at bit pained at this point. She yelled at me that this was a park for dogs. I explained that I felt a little aggrieved at her attitude, I had no idea why she was being so horrible to me and that I felt an apology for destroying the bouncy wall had probably been in order. She stormed off again (she was VERY stormy) and then returned with her husband, who proceeded to tear a strip off me as well! I was sitting down and they were standing either side of me, yelling and bending in towards me. They shouted at me that they had been coming to the park for 20 years and had never had such an incident before. I told them (again, without raising my voice) that could it possibly be that they were slightly intimidating as their behaviour was pretty OTT compared with my "crime" of sitting on a bench and allowing their dog to damage my property.

The woman then told me to look in the mirror (fair point - I had been out the night before and not looking my best), then told me she was going to give me one of HER balls. Which she wiped along the ground and then placed on the inside lining of my coat which had fallen open - carefully wiping it in the process so my coat lining was full of doggy saliva and wet mud.

I didn't bother reacting to this (was was slightly in shock by this point) and they went off to do pooh sticks with their child. Good - they wouldn't be back for a while. The dog had a jingly harness. I sat there enjoying the peace and quiet for 10 minutes and blow me down, I heard the jingly harness again! This time I got my phone out - I was not prepared to listen to more abuse and had decided to tell them that I would be recording the conversation and would then decide what action to take.

Fortunately, they limited their interaction with me to glowering and muttering about me in the distance. Their lovely dog then proceed to run along the riverbank, barking at everyone, scaring some ducks which were on the bank and generally not really being under control. My dog was still romping with her mates and having a lovely time.

So - if it was YOU in the park yesterday - this is a totally accurate representation of what was done and said. I did not insult you, shout at you, swear at you or criticise your poor dog handling skills. You, on the other hand, behaved like a yob, hurled personal insults at me, destroyed my property without a word of apology, wiped dog saliva and mud on my coat and generally behaved like a toddler having a tantrum. You were threatening in your behaviour (single woman sitting on a bench with two grown adults yelling insults at her) and I hope that your child does not see this type of behaviour on a daily basis. I would not want them to think that it was a normal reaction from her parents.

Thank you for anyone who read this. I am not actually asking if I am being unreasonable to still be miffed by this. I know that others would have stood up for themselves more, and rightly so. I just needed to let it out!

OP posts:
faitaccompli · 29/03/2015 09:32

Sorry - just to add, I know that in the general scheme of things, the dreadful happenings with the air crash, terrorism and other dreadful occurences, this is VERY minor.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 29/03/2015 09:34

Some people are arseholes dude. Draw a line, and don't waste any more of your head space on her.

chinstrappenguin · 29/03/2015 09:35

I would have called the Police, especially as you felt threatend. Totally out of order behaviour.

chinstrappenguin · 29/03/2015 09:36

As Saucy says let it go now. Its done Smile

SycamoreMum · 29/03/2015 09:36

I'm shocked. OP you should have stood up for yourself more and told her to back the fuck off.

flora717 · 29/03/2015 09:38

That's crap, a dog stealing food off strangers is a dog not being monitored adequately. Collies are fairly active and trainable too, they need to engage with their dog's abilities, train it to be more sociable.

Humansatnav · 29/03/2015 09:38

Shock They sound like a right pair of arseholes.
Well done for keeping your dignity (imo) .

GoGiYerHeedAWobble · 29/03/2015 09:38

My life became infinitely easier the day I realised that, despite my behaviour, reactions, or trying to calm a situation, some people are just cunts.

Don't give them anymore head space Thanks

Icimoi · 29/03/2015 09:39

As someone else has remarked, what is this with the instant resort to the police on MN? Doesn't anyone think they have better things to do than deal with shouty women in parks?

Koalafications · 29/03/2015 09:39

They don't sound like very happy people. When I encounter people like this, I'm just glad that I'm not them.

WizardOfToss · 29/03/2015 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 29/03/2015 09:40

She was a loon and a bullying twat at that.

You kept your cool, she probably looked like a dick to others in the park, imagine actually being her !Shock.

It's been and gone, forget her now.

Humansatnav · 29/03/2015 09:40

Is this park in the North West? Puppysatnav would love it .

TheGirlOnTheLanding · 29/03/2015 09:40

Some people have no manners and get their jollies bullying others. It's horrible when you're on the receiving end. What a shame you had your lovely park visit spoiled by these people. At least if you hear that jingly harness in future you will be able to avoid them.

pilates · 29/03/2015 09:42

Of course YANBU

Sorry you had your day ruined by an ignorant woman but they are in the minority and there are lots of really nice people out there.

Imnotaslimjim · 29/03/2015 09:44

What a pair of twats, and their poor child having to witness that. I bet the DC wasn't too concerned either, which probably means they do see aggression from their parent on a regular basis :(

Now you've written it down and got it out of your head, let it go and move on Flowers

Enigmatist · 29/03/2015 09:47

I'm like Koala in that I tend to think of these angry people as very unhappy and feel a bit sorry for them. Can you imagine how horrible it must be to be so wound up like a little coiled spring all the time ready to blow at the slightest thing?! I feel the same about sweaty angry drivers too.

Only1scoop · 29/03/2015 09:48

Knob jockeys.... hope they trod in dog poo on way home.

londonrach · 29/03/2015 09:54

Poor woman in the park she very angry with the world and very unhappy. Forget it op, just be glad you are not like her!

MrsTedCrilly · 29/03/2015 10:18

Agree with others, a cunt cannot be reasoned with! With logic, common sense.. They just want the last word and to have it in the most aggressive way possible. I used to work in a call centre and spoke to customers like them every now and then, they want an argument and won't be deviated..
Next time just be silent, get your ball back and hide the treats but say nothing even when they start on you.. That will wind them up.

PurpleSwift · 29/03/2015 10:59

It's because of people like that, that give dogs and dog walkers a bad name. YANBU at all, what twats. They clearly have no control over their dog.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 29/03/2015 11:07

This is why I hate dogs

What joy is there in that?!

DartmoorDoughnut · 29/03/2015 11:09

What utter twats Angry poor you OP Flowers but congrats on holding yourself together! I would have been shaking with rage and unable to, must become more zen like!

Metalguru · 29/03/2015 11:33

What total idiots, I hate it when I encounter people like this when I'm minding my own business. Try not to think about it any more, they have set their child a terrible example and must be unhappy people to lash out at a total stranger like that, you on the other hand sound like a happy, grounded person.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 29/03/2015 11:41

Ynbu. But you'll never reason with idiots. Don't dwell on things. She's really not that important. Flowers