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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Afternoon tea wedding party

53 replies

Vespar7 · 28/03/2015 08:33

I live abroad and had a small wedding there recently. I didn't invite most of my friends and family because it we wanted a small wedding but everyone knew when we were getting married. I would now like to have a party to celebrate in the UK and was thinking of an afternoon tea type reception. I was just wondering if that seems a weird thing to do or if people would expect to be entertained for the whole evening? Ideally we would start and 3 and be done by 7 as we have small kids. Just wondering what other people think? Thanks!

OP posts:
Spickle · 28/03/2015 08:36

I think that sounds lovely actually and congratulations!

addicted2cake · 28/03/2015 08:37

I think it's a wonderful idea. It's your wedding celebration and you should do what makes you happy. Enjoy and congratulations!,

Lunastarfish · 28/03/2015 08:38

Sounds splendid

Only1scoop · 28/03/2015 08:38

Lovely idea

ThereThereMyLovely · 28/03/2015 08:38

That sounds perfect to me. All I would suggest is that you make the times clear on the invite. I would put the end time and would be clear about what type of food you are serving.

Congrats Flowers

seriouslypeedoff · 28/03/2015 08:46

Sounds great to me. I have to be honest, I am not a huge fab of weddings that start at 10am and go on all day and night. Obviously I go and suck it up, but this would be preferable to me.

DaisyChain87 · 28/03/2015 08:47

We went to an afternoon tea wedding last year! Hand on heart, it was the best wedding we have EVER been to. Just make sure that the invites make the timings clear.

SwirlyThingAlert · 28/03/2015 08:47

That sounds lovely to me.

Littlemonstersrule · 28/03/2015 09:23

I must be the only one who doesn't get why people exclude guests from seeing the actual marriage but then weeks/months later hold a party to celebrate something the guests were not asked to be a part of.

Surely, once you are married that's it? The wedding is done and dusted.

A colleague did something similar but with two "receptions" and openly admits she arranged them as the wedding was small and she got few presents. Quite crass and she was openly judged.

expatinscotland · 28/03/2015 09:26

As long as you don't send out invitations with a 'request' for a cash gift.

MatildaTheCat · 28/03/2015 09:28

Lovely thing to do but one word of caution, a friend went to an afternoon tea wedding recently and the portions were mini sure. Literally two finger sandwiches per person and a couple of tiny cakes. The hosts had plenty so didn't notice.

Hope it goes well. If any of your guests agrees with the pp above me, they can always decline and keep their miserable thoughts to themselves.

cashewnutty · 28/03/2015 09:28

I did that for my 50th birthday. It was lovely and much less fuss than a big boozy party.

Ginmartini · 28/03/2015 09:32

I like afternoon teas to a point but I'd definitely include alcohol! You can make cocktails and put them in tea pots etc.

Also - and I truly don't mean to be rude and am not a Mumsnet Wedding Hater - people will really not be as bothered as you think about a UK celebration or what it actually is. It's only really the bride, groom and their closest who care about the wedding/parties.

ChipDip · 28/03/2015 09:36

Yanbu, sounds like a lovely idea. Also you have small kids so seems like an ideal type event.

redcaryellowcar · 28/03/2015 09:51

Sounds ideal, probably much appreciated by your friends who also have small dc? I agree with pps to make timings clear on the invite. We have two dc (1&3) and this is the only sort of wedding party we could currently go to as ds2 will not go to bed or stay there for anyone but me, I'd be delighted if friends decided to do this!

Discounted · 28/03/2015 10:07

For an actual wedding, I'd think it was a lovely idea, perfect in fact if it suited the personality of the B&G.

However, when the B&G have had the small wedding they wanted, I'm not sure what the point is of another "do" unless it's to have a party. I'd love to go and see my friends get married and then share afternoon tea with them, I'm not sure I'd be so keen to turn up for "just" for a tea party with loads of people I don't know. How many people are you planning to invite? If it's to be kept small (less than 30?) then all good.

Runningupthathill82 · 28/03/2015 10:10

I went to one of these last year. Was lovely. Tea, cakes, scones, wine, child-friendly and all done by 5pm.

As others have said, just make it clear on the invitation.

maddening · 28/03/2015 10:30

Have it somewhere that if people want to hang around after and have a few drinks and carry on with friends they may not see often etc - and you might get to 7 and be up for a few more drinks.

I think it's normal when you marry further afield to have an extra gathering at you home town- and, as you lived there , there was plenty of reason for you to marry abroad and want to have a get together with friends who would have come had you married in the uk.

I love the cocktails in teapots idea.

drbonnieblossman · 28/03/2015 10:33

Lovely idea, do it. Add bubbles.

FantasticRik · 28/03/2015 10:37

Yep - I attended a wedding last year in a gorgeous little hotel with an afternoon tea reception. It really was lovely.

Congratulations!

WorraLiberty · 28/03/2015 10:38

Sounds lovely OP.

I was having lunch at a hotel once and there happened to be a small reception just like the one you describe, on the other side of the restaurant.

It looked absolutely lovely and the cakes were all laid out beautifully on various cake stands.

And yes, there were cocktails in teapots too! Grin

YouKnowNothingRickGrimes · 28/03/2015 10:52

I think it sounds great but then again I'm biased as we had an afternoon tea wedding with a BBQ later on in the night and it was wonderful.

GrinAndTonic · 28/03/2015 11:10

I had an afternoon tea reception. We had planned to have a live band, pimms, copious amounts of food, bocce, giant jenga, croquet, champagne, cider and decorations such as bunting, flowers etc all by the water at a vineyard.
The torrential rain and flooding on the day is a whole other thread Grin

MissBattleaxe · 28/03/2015 11:16

I think afternoon tea isn't done enough and it sounds lovely.

However, what kind of wedding-y things would you do? Wear your dress? Show photos?

PicaK · 28/03/2015 11:34

Sounds fab. Can you hire a mobile softplay too so the little ones have something to do.