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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Afternoon tea wedding party

53 replies

Vespar7 · 28/03/2015 08:33

I live abroad and had a small wedding there recently. I didn't invite most of my friends and family because it we wanted a small wedding but everyone knew when we were getting married. I would now like to have a party to celebrate in the UK and was thinking of an afternoon tea type reception. I was just wondering if that seems a weird thing to do or if people would expect to be entertained for the whole evening? Ideally we would start and 3 and be done by 7 as we have small kids. Just wondering what other people think? Thanks!

OP posts:
TheFecklessFairy · 28/03/2015 11:35

and the portions were mini sure

That's got to be one of the best autocorrects I've seen Grin

Skyland · 28/03/2015 12:12

I went to an afternoon tea wedding and there was a couple of plates of cakes and sandwiches which was not enough to go round. We were all starving and fantasising about legging it to bella pasta. It is okay doing a wedding on the cheap but reduce the number of guests to a number you can feed. There was no way we could stay until midnight on a quarter sandwich.

Original poster
Vespar7 · 28/03/2015 12:12

I was thinking of having a party in the UK because I got married in the country where I lived. It was all organised in about 3 months and I didn't want people to feel like they had to come all the way at such short notice especially since we are only getting married for practical reasons and only have 2 kids. I thought it would be nice to celebrate the occasion with friends and family in the UK and also be good chance to see everyone as we don't come back that much. I have also been feel guilty that we were invited to other friends weddings and we should perhaps give something back. I don't at all expect/want any wedding presents. Do you think people would think it was weird if we had a party since we are already married?

OP posts:
Instituteofstudies · 28/03/2015 12:34

I'm going to an afternoon tea reception next month for a relatives wedding. Am really looking forward to it. There is a hot buffet at the evening do. I'm looking forward to it. Sounds a lovely idea.

MatildaTheCat · 28/03/2015 12:36

Not weird at all. Nice. Family and friends like to celebrate a wedding,mit doesn't matter that it was a few months ago because it was for practical reasons.

I wouldn't, however, go mentioning the wedding was just for practical reasons even if it was. People love a little romance. Grin

Only1scoop · 28/03/2015 12:40

Op I think it's a lovely idea....you can't win sometimes....

I'm sure if you had invited a hoard of people there would be threads about 'selfish wedding abroad' etc....'expecting' us to pay.

I think your idea is gracious and lovely and afternoon tea sounds perfect.

MissBattleaxe · 28/03/2015 12:43

Oh yes, kudos for not asking everyone to come your overseas wedding and then guilting them for not spending their annual holiday budget on your wedding. I've seen that a lot! What you're doing is lovely.

binspin · 28/03/2015 12:47

I think it's a lovely idea.

MissDuke · 28/03/2015 12:48

I love the sound of this!

diddl · 28/03/2015 12:53

Sounds fab.

keep meaning to treat myself to afternoon tea somewhere nice.

Do you need the numbers making up??!!Grin

finnbarrcar · 28/03/2015 13:08

I'd go. Good luck and have a lovely day.....hints for invite...lol.

goldopals · 28/03/2015 20:43

Littlemonstersrule

Before Mumsnet I had never heard of people not going to the ceremony and then going to the reception or evening do. I had never actually heard of an evening do before. In my circle it is all or everyone is invited to the ceremony and only some to the reception.

AntiHop · 28/03/2015 21:15

I had an afternoon only wedding. It was lovely.

Original poster
Vespar7 · 28/03/2015 22:27

Thanks for all the replies. Will definitely take on board comments about timings and portion sizes! Am planning on having an open bar but guess people won't drink that much between 3pm and 7pm!

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 28/03/2015 22:36

I don't really understand the concept of saying you only want a small wedding but then having a bigger do at a later date, just do one or the other- if you wanted to celebrate with all these people then I'd have invited them to the wedding/reception at the time

ApplySomePressure · 28/03/2015 22:37

This is exactly what I did, except as my main wedding. Everyone one was home by early evening.

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs · 28/03/2015 22:40

I think your idea is lovely and elegant and clearly about the marriage not the wedding. I'd love to get an invitation to something like this!

sooperdooper · 28/03/2015 22:40

I think the idea of an afternoon wedding celebration is absolutely fine, I just don't see the point of a second do when everyone could be invited to the actual wedding

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 28/03/2015 23:41

I think it's a lovely thing to do as well. Enjoy and many congratulations!

Original poster
Vespar7 · 29/03/2015 08:10

sooperdooper we got married abroad and we didn't want to make people come all the way on quite short notice. If people are going to come and visit us we would rather we have time to spend with them rather than everyone coming at once and hardly getting to speak to anyone. That's why I would like to celebrate with people from home. It's not like I'm having 2 parties in the UK which I agree would be a little strange.

OP posts:
esiotrot2015 · 29/03/2015 08:19

Sounds lovely

Will you wear your dress & have speeches ?

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 29/03/2015 08:25

The OP has already explained why these guests weren't invited to the actual wedding, which was out of consideration for them. I think it's a lovely idea. I disagree with it only being the closest family/friends who care about weddings, in my experience people are generally delighted to be invited to them.

BunnyCake · 29/03/2015 08:49

I think it sounds lovely

HemlockStarglimmer · 29/03/2015 09:20

Afternoon tea is my favourite meal ever!

SugarplumKate · 29/03/2015 10:43

Sounds lovely, and very easy for those with children. Just be clear on the invites of timings and what food there is - so they are not expecting a big meal and miss lunch for example.