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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with DP for puking all over the bedding?

67 replies

QueenStromba · 28/03/2015 00:18

I know I'm not but I just need to vent. We went out tonight for his colleague's leaving do and when we got home I put pie and chips on for him (I ate before I went out) and he said he felt a bit ill. I went to get a bucket for him and by the time I got back he had been sick on the duvet. I'd only been gone about a minute so thought that taking the cover off might make it OK. The duvet was soaked even with the cover off and the bottom sheet was wet too. I've now put the cover and sheet in the washing machine. The duvet is too big for the washing machine so I've reserved one from Argos. He said that he purposefully threw up on the bed rather than on the floor which I think would have been easier to clean up. I'm perfectly within my rights to be annoyed with him and to have the money for the new duvet come out of his money rather than joint money?

OP posts:

Cleetus · 28/03/2015 07:37

Don't look after him. Let him sort out the duvet. You sound like his mum.

livsmommy · 28/03/2015 08:35

I'm confused as to why you went to fetch him a bucket as oppose to him just going into the bathroom?! And let him look after himself!

livsmommy · 28/03/2015 08:36

Agree with Cleetus you sound like his mom..........

popalot · 28/03/2015 09:39

At his age, he should have learnt to get to the bathroom. Lived too many years with a drinker who would puke and urinate all over my belongings and would walk out the next day so I would have to clean it up. Teach him now that if he decides to puke anywhere but the loo, he has to clean it up himself. But really, he should know that already.

DrCoconut · 28/03/2015 10:19

Why on earth did you cook his food and even worse do the washing? I'd have left the bugger to sleep in it and woken him up in time to be at the shops for 9am to buy replacements. No sympathy at all for this kind of thing. If you pander to it you imply that it is acceptable.

BarbarianMum · 28/03/2015 10:40

Much easier to take a duvet to the laundrette than hire a carpet cleaner so YABU.

However, he should be the one taking the duvet to the laundrette.

avocadotoast · 28/03/2015 10:47

Forget "looking after him". He's a grown up ffs, if he got that drunk he did it willingly and knew what the consequences might be. Let him sort it out himself!

DarthVadersTailor · 28/03/2015 11:37

You've every right to be pissed off at this but it's hardly the crime of the century and I'm sure this type of thing has happened to most of us at some point.

Once my ex-p (and now best friend) threw up all over my bed after mixing alcohol and marijuana (which always resulted in them being rather pukey) and then put the whole lot of sheets into the washing machine.....which resulted in the washing machine filter getting clogged and making it stop working. At the time I was just a tad livid but now we laugh heartily about it because in retrospect it's not like they burnt the house down. Hopefully once you've calmed down you'll see it that way too. In the meantime though you should defo feel free to lay on one huge guilt trip

Purplepoodle · 28/03/2015 11:47

I'd take duvet over carpet. Dh always gets the carpet. Then your left scrubbing it for half hour plus - it still stains after scrubbing resulting in whole carpet needing cleaned. Usually you can sleep in the room that night as smells so bad

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 28/03/2015 12:12

Lots of very harsh replies here!
My DP was really drunk last night too and took himself off to the loo to throw up 3 times. Not all of it made it into the bowl (the erm, puppy saw to the mess ) and he kept waking up and sounding like he was going to puke again, so I got up and put the bin next to his side of the bed. Had he have thrown up on the bedding/floor, I would have cleaned it and/or ordered a new duvet from the joint money but he did have to be up at 4.15am for work and he has only ever been in that state twice before in our whole relationship so...

bloodyteenagers · 28/03/2015 12:26

I am amazed at the amount of posters cleaning their partners puke.
These are adults not children. Make them clean up after themselves.

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 28/03/2015 12:30

Really? I'm shocked that people wouldn't. He'd clean mine up. Plus, if they're so drunk they are throwing up, how effective a cleaning job do you think they will do?? Not very, I'd imagine.

JeanSeberg · 28/03/2015 12:35

Why would you enable him to act like a twat?

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 28/03/2015 12:37

People need to lighten up! Most of us have been guilty of getting pissed and puking in the wrong place at some point!! Clean it up, buy new if needed and spend the day laughing at him!

KillmeNow · 28/03/2015 12:41

Good grief .

I have never cleaned up puke after anyone over the age of 2. I taught my Dc and DH to always head for the toilet if they felt queasy. The pukiest child learned to run as fast as he could to the bathroom from the age of 2 when he felt the usual stirrings.

I dont know if Im lucky but DH has never ,ever been sick through drink - and he likes a tipple or 5 regularly.

I would be tempted to wrap the sicky duvet round the puky one and leave them with the smell . Then they can be responsible for getting everything clean again. Why should another person have to take charge of this when the cause was not a bona fide illness.

wowfudge · 28/03/2015 12:43

You can wash bedding and duvet. You can't stick a carpet in the washing machine! The duvet is a laundrette job - you can probably have it done within an afternoon.

My DP was sick last night (not alcohol related) and he was able to run upstairs to the bathroom and throw up in the loo when he realised he was going to be sick. Drunk people don't react so quickly though.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 28/03/2015 12:44

i teach my kids to puke into duvet/blanket as it is way easier to clean it up, especially in the middle of the night.

puke on carpet is way harder to properly clean out. the liquidy part soaks through and it's just disgusting when days later you can still smell it.

we have a carpet cleaner now, but I still don't like scraping the carpet clean of vomit (or poo for that matter)

and I don't get this "he is an adult he should clean it up"
how? he is unwell, asleep and on waking might still feel sick.
ill or drunk is irrelevant to the fact that there is vomit to clean up.
who cares who does it?

through many pregnancies I have been sick many times and DH had to clean it up, because I just couldn't.
so what?!
I'm a grown up, not a child and it is perfect reasonable and necessary for the more able person to clean up the sick, asap.

I don't see what other options there are from a purely practical POV.
make him do it and he might be sick again? would anyone do that to someone they love?
or leave the house and let the sick just sit there, rotting, festering and making your house stink?

pilates · 28/03/2015 12:44

Can't understand why he didn't attempt to get himself to the bathroom

TeddyBee · 28/03/2015 12:47

Good lord, why the hell would you not throw up in the loo? If I think I'm going to be ill I go and sit in the bathroom. And if I'm sure I'm going to puke, I make myself do it to get it out of the way. Last time I threw up from booze was a long long time ago though.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 28/03/2015 12:50

killme

my 13 year old was sick in the middle of the night, he woke up feeling sick and just threw up before he could do anything.
no time to even move.of course I cleaned it up. he was ill.

I'm really surprised you never had to clean up sick for anyone older than 2. you are very very lucky and /or another MN phenomenon.

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 28/03/2015 12:52

Jean I wouldn't class it as enabling a twat in the slightest. He went out, got a bit merry and has subsequently had to suffer through a 6am start while I lounge around the house, not hungover. I was off work really ill last week and he waited on me hand and foot so if I had to clean up a bit of drunken sick for only the 2nd time in our relationship, so be it.

gamerchick · 28/03/2015 12:52

I'm another one who doesn't understand why he sat in bed while you went for a bucket. Does that then make it your fault for not being quick enough?

Why didn't he go to the bathroom?

It does sound as if you baby him somewhat. Let him sort out himself today.

diddl · 28/03/2015 12:57

My teens know that if they get pissed & puke then they clean up!

I might help/give instructions so that it gets done, but they certainly wouldn't do nothing!

We have a single quilt each-they fit in a washing machine!

Fullpleatherjacket · 28/03/2015 12:58

YANBU in being angry at him but YABU running round doing the clearing up and ordering replacement bedding.

I'd have left him marinating in his own mess until he was sober enough to sort it out himself.

babyboomersrock · 28/03/2015 13:02

it's hardly the crime of the century and I'm sure this type of thing has happened to most of us at some point

What - being so drunk you're vomiting everywhere? Maybe when we were 18. As adults? Just revolting behaviour.

I sometimes think the 50s have come back to haunt us (and I say that as an Old Person). All these little women infantilising their menfolk, indulging their childishness, feeding them, cleaning up after them. How can you ever fancy a man who lets you do all that for him?

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