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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be insanely jealous of my ex husband?

49 replies

AmazingBouncingFerret · 26/03/2015 18:34

I've been ill for weeks. Sore throat that went on to my chest and left me with an awful burning barking cough. Blocked nose and headaches and for the past week I've been completely deaf in one ear. Antibiotics haven't touched it.
Ex husband had the same symptoms, he texted me earlier today to say he'd been for a run and afterwards (this is gross by the way, stop reading now if you have an active imagination and a weak stomach) he did that thing you sometimes see footballers do where they hold one nostril and blow snot out of the other. He said that what came out and wouldn't stop coming out was amazing. He can now smell, taste and hear again.
I want that. I want to expel crazy amounts of yellow snot from the dark recesses of my sinuses. Sad

OP posts:
WasabiPeace · 26/03/2015 18:37

Oh my god.

That is beautiful. I'm not surprised you're jealous.

I'm often jealous of my son's ear wax. Yes, I get to hook it out of his ear, which is glorious. But he gets the feeling of it being removed.

Envy
CMOTGilbertBlythe · 26/03/2015 18:37

Have you tried a sinus rinse?
You can get them from Boots, here: www.boots.com/en/NeilMed-Sinus-Rinse-Kit_121768/

PrettyFeet · 26/03/2015 18:38

Into a tissue though OP. What your ex husband did makes me feel sick. I hate seeing men do that.

Branleuse · 26/03/2015 18:39

aw man, that would be the perfect way to end an illness. You should have put klaxon in the thread title

Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 26/03/2015 18:39

My daughter has the most impressively large chunk of earwax that she will not let me touch. I've tried bribery and everything. Every now and then she allows me to look in her ear with my phone torch light just to check its progress

OP posts:
Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 26/03/2015 18:41

He said if I was to try it I should do it into the bath because the amount that came out of his nose was horrifying.

OP posts:
SoonToBeMrsB · 26/03/2015 18:42

AmazingBouncingFerret

I'd pay her to let me get about that ear wax Envy

DP and I actually watched ear wax removals on youtube a few nights ago Blush I'm slowly turning him into a sporner like me

hesterton · 26/03/2015 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairy13 · 26/03/2015 18:43

I once found a diamond shaped set of four black heads behind my ex's ear. It had never been touched and I swear to god, it took me over an hour to get it all out. One of the only positive memories from our relationship, that.

Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 26/03/2015 18:46

I could run around the garden I suppose...

OP posts:
Crumblevision · 26/03/2015 18:49

I would say LTB but it appears you have already done that Grin. I would be so jealous. Does he know you are a sporner? Was he over egging it for your delectation do you think?

Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 26/03/2015 18:51

He knows I have a dark fascination with earwax

OP posts:
Original poster
AmazingBouncingFerret · 26/03/2015 18:52

I'm going to try it.

OP posts:
willbillycome · 26/03/2015 20:46

Should probably be embarrassed to admit I've been borrowing my kids saline spray and 'snot sucker' and yes! the amount that comes out is amazing and I feel great for a couple of hours, sadly it keeps coming back Sad

Chunkymonkey79 · 26/03/2015 20:48

Yanbu

It's really gross, but bloody incredible after being poorly, the relief is amazing!!!

FairPhyllis · 26/03/2015 20:51

Yes, go for a run. Then report back!

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 26/03/2015 20:57

He sounds amazing - why on earth did you split up?!

Duckdeamon · 26/03/2015 20:59

Is sharing sporn the hallmark of a healthy relationship with an ex now?

Rainbunny · 26/03/2015 21:21

I used to get horrible throat viruses as a child. Swallowing would feel like a thousand knives stabbing me in the throat. One time about a week into it I started coughing and suddenly hacked up the largest, greenest glob of phlegm I have ever seen. So gross and I was actually a bit scared that this had come out of me but my sore throat was almost instantly gone! I still remember how satisfying that was 25 years later :)

lostmymarblesbutfoundthewine · 26/03/2015 21:21

thank you. I've just spent the last hour watching you tube when I've a tonne of work to do. Grin

KanyesVest · 27/03/2015 11:36

A couple of years back I had a really bad dose of sinusitis and tonsillitis on my birthday. I got a call that day to say I hadn't got a job I really wanted. About an hour later, I managed to sneeze out my nose and in the lead lined tissue was a blob of yellow/green snot streaked with blood, the size of the palm of my hand. It made up for not getting the job.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/03/2015 11:44

not quite in same league but...

about a year or two ago I'd been on a walk with friend in Box Hill. Came back to hers for Sunday lunch and my finger (at side) was purple/green at cuticle side... and it hurt. I went into their bathroom and either knocked it or squeezed and a lot of white and yellow pus came out... That was satisfying but they had no antiseptic cream and were thinking I was making a lot of fuss about nothing.

I didn't have to see the doctor but it's lucky I didn't get septicemia eh?! yes I'm melodramatic!

BrendaBlackhead · 27/03/2015 11:54

May I suggest the old remedy of a bowl of boiling water with Vicks in it and making yourself a tent with a towel. A few deep inhalations are sometimes enough to get the mucus free flowing...

I have no fond memories of the sinusitis I had whilst pregnant. I read online (dangerous thing, that) about someone whose eye had popped out of its socket with sinusitis. My jaw cavity ached so badly I was nearly forced to extract my own teeth with no anaesthetic.

Oldraver · 27/03/2015 12:00

I've had the big ball of sinus snot...I was recently describing it to OH and said it looked like when you see the back of eyeballs all covered with veins.

Have a look at sinus rinse...you can use a bottle with a spots top of if you dare do it int he shower

VeryAgedParent · 27/03/2015 12:20

When DS 1 was a newborn 3 days out of hospital he went down with a cold (all the flaming visitors!) Anyway feeding him was difficult and during one "winding session" he sneezed and I was both horrified and fascinated on the solid snot (about the width of a pencil and about three inches long) that he expelled from each nostril.
Every time he brought up a bit of feed he would bring up copious amounts of green gunk as well!
He didn't recover until I caught his cold.

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