To be insanely jealous of my ex husband?

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

I've been ill for weeks. Sore throat that went on to my chest and left me with an awful burning barking cough. Blocked nose and headaches and for the past week I've been completely deaf in one ear. Antibiotics haven't touched it.
Ex husband had the same symptoms, he texted me earlier today to say he'd been for a run and afterwards (this is gross by the way, stop reading now if you have an active imagination and a weak stomach) he did that thing you sometimes see footballers do where they hold one nostril and blow snot out of the other. He said that what came out and wouldn't stop coming out was amazing. He can now smell, taste and hear again.
I want that. I want to expel crazy amounts of yellow snot from the dark recesses of my sinuses.

with the footballers it's not snot. It's brains that shoot out.
explains Rooney I suppose

God knows why I'm reading this thread whilst signed off with morning sickness, but I have to add a recommendation to watch in growing hair removal videos on you tube if you like this sort of thing!

My ex husband probably thinks the boil he squeezed and burst on my butt cheek (after days of waiting) was the best thing about our relationship.

I went to a foam party when I was 18 and got a horrific cold afterwards. Don't know if it was related to the foam party or what, but the two things are indelibly linked in my mind.

Anyway. This cold made my nose run bright green snot like a tap. On the 4th day of the cold I was due to start Uni for the very first time ever.
I woke up and my nose felt heavy. That's the only way I can describe it.

Well, gentle reader. I went to the bathroom to blow it and what I can only describe as a rope of snot came out. It was about 4cm in diameter and twisted around itself. Plaited, if you will. I pulled and pulled and it kept on coming. I would say it was over a foot long.

The relief was insane and also the sheer pleasure of the experience was quite something (secret sporner alert).

I am so very glad that it didn't happen in lectures on day 1 when we were all trying to act cool. I would have been evermore known as 'snot-girl'

When I had sinusitis I blew my nose and what can only be described as a half metre long snake skin (the kind left behind when a snake sheds it's skin) came out. I was instantly cured.

What is a sporner? confused

This thread is just wonderful. Thank you, all. I'm so happy. Especially takingchances

I too recommend the joys of nasal irrigation.

I started it a few weeks ago and the STUFF that has come out of my sinuses is worth its own Channel 4 documentary.

Also, can hear, smell and taste for the first time in months.

Hope that you're better soon OP.

Donthate et al - when I've had sinusitis (twice now, treated with antibiotics) I think a 3rd time maybe nothing has come out.

I feel cheated! [sceptical]

[sceptical]

bloody sceptical isn't coming up...

Super You have to write hmm not sceptical in the square brackets

This thread is fasciantingly gruesome.

Rosienufc

Sporn = spot porn. Basically a love and intrigue of anything that involves pus or wax, or is flaky/peelable/burstable. Basically if it's gross and looks infected, I want in at it

Oh you've reminded me of the bliss of earwax removals I had as a child. Some of them were amazing big lumps of grimness. But youtube? Thank goodness noone videoed them!

Ooooh then I too am a sporner....always poking and prodding DH-we work well as he likes me to check him for spots and I love squeezing them

tak1ng

Another recommendation for neilmed sinus rinse! The ENT doctors recommended it after my sinus surgery, and it was horrifyingly beautiful! You squirt the bottle of saline wash up one nostril and it pours out the other nostril taking all the gunk with it.

I suggest putting the plug in the sink if studying your sinus mucous floats your boat nothing worse than seeing a fascinating chunk slip down the plughole before you've had an adequate opportunity to inspect it

This thread is so gross but I love it

Best one for me was actually a spot/cyst on DH's head. He'd been complaining he could feel a 'lump' in his hair at the back of his head, and thought he'd got an insect bite on his scalp or something.

I said well come on then let me have a look. So he lay down, head in my lap, while I parted his hair where he was pointing.

Omg it was the size of a 5p piece, red, with a deliciously gleaming white head/'epicentre' in the middle. I said would you like me to pop this thing? And CHUNKS came out! Like cottage cheese! It went on and on. Took ages to get it to stop spurting out more whenever I put pressure on...

He said he felt a lot better afterwords as he'd been getting headaches for a week.
God it was satisfying..

My family has a nasal rinse machine from America. It's truly amazing.

My niece struggled for years with Her sinuses. She did this for a year and apparently it was truly amazing what came out and now she's all better

Sporn... I wish I could squeeze the world biggest spot.

My mum still talks fondly of a piece of earwax that I dug out on the way home from a day trip 18 YEARS AGO!! I think she was jealous that I didn't let her do it. To be fair, it was massive